Did I make a fool of myself at work?

[user89909]

Feel like i have made a complete fool of myself at work i told my manager I'm fed up of people constantly asking me for money for collections then talking about me behind my back when i don't contribute, making comments about me not attending out of work meals ( i was on holiday for the past 2). I just constantly feel like people are making comments about me behind my back including the manager and I've had enough. Told her all I want to do is do my job and then go home.

I’m exactly like this and have been for decades. I judge the right working environment to be the one that pays me the most for what I do.

Were not at work for the love of it. Were there because it pays the bills. Thats it. I completely agree with you on the socialising outside of work. Unless i really liked them but no ive got my own shit going on at home. Wrt the collections, i just say, its great what youre collecting for but i give to my own local selected charities/go fund me’s so i know the money is definitely going where it should. Ask them how much the ceo of X charity is on as annual salary, when they come back with £200k i say, yeah thats why i dont support them 👋 dont feel bad, theyre idiots

Anyone who cares this much about what someone else at work contributes or attends events clearly has no life out of work so I’d ignore them

We have a sensible policy that people get a card signed by their team for birthdays, weddings, new babies etc, and the birthday person brings in cake or nice biscuits for their team.

We have lunch out at Christmas and that's it.

I've worked in places where we were continually being asked to sponsor someone to trek the Amazon in aid of endangered sloths, or contribute to someone else's 6th baby shower. Hated it.

I'd go down the previous plans route for meals out and just be honest about not being able to afford to contribute to the other stuff, while making it plain you don't expect contributions yourself.