DH and I are expecting our first children (twins) at the end of the week. As you’d expect we’re obviously excited but also nervous and trying to make sure we’re both as prepared as you can be before the twins arrive. I’ve had a really healthy pregnancy and everything is looking good, but because it’s twins we may be staying in hospital after birth for a little while and possibly a NICU stay depending on how the babies are. Our family know this and have basically said they will come to visit the babies when we’re at home and ready. For context, we live a couple of hours away from our family so it’s not like they can just pop round, I know some family are going to come up on a weekend when we choose so they can spend a couple of days with the babies (but will stay in a hotel so we can have our own space when needed).
Anyway, FIL has a habit of booking things up or coming up without telling us. It’s not been that much of an issue, but there’s been a couple of times where it’s caused some annoyance. However, DH had a call today to say that FIL has booked a hotel for this weekend, he’s said he’ll keep himself to himself but if the twins happen to come along then it’ll be good because he’ll be around. It’s really annoyed me, he’s framed it in a way that suggest he always planned on coming up this weekend as a sort of holiday and it had nothing to do with the babies being born, but it’s obvious that isn’t the case considering I’m scheduled to be induced.
DH has told him that we’re busy getting ready for the babies and he won’t be visiting if I do go into labour until we’re ready, which we thought was the end of it, but now SIL has called to say that FIL has complained to her about us not letting him come over if he’s in our city because he doesn’t know the next time he’ll be able to come. I just don’t know what to do, if I feel ready for visitors and we get home before he leaves then of course he could meet them, but that just doesn’t seem likely and I’d really rather not have visitors in the hospital or until I’m slightly more settled at home. I’m not saying it will be weeks (as long as the babies are okay) but literally just a day or so at home before people come and visit. Maybe I’m being a bit pfb about it. But it’s just really got to me. It feels like we can’t tell him not to come because his argument is that it’s just a city break that he was planning for himself, but at the same time I know we’ll be getting constant texts to see if he can visit.
How would you handle this?. I really don’t want any extra stress and I don’t want fall outs but I also want to make sure he knows he cannot visit until we’re ready.