To ask for careers advice - I feel like a lost cause....

[MistressoftheDarkSide]

Ok, I'm 57. Widowed 4 years ago, followed by multiple other bereavements. Lost my business two years ago - had it for 7 years. No assets, entirely state dependent currently, on the bones of my arse and while qualifying as "too broken to work" am aware that my mental health is deteriorating rapidly and the thought that "this is it" is making me feel pretty suicidal tbh.

My qualifications are patchy - no degree but an NCDT diploma in Stage Management, Technical Theatre and Design. (Yes, useless I know) Due to child rearing and a variety of other caring responsibilities my laughable work history had been retail and call centre work and admin with very basic tech levels.

So I am toying with the idea of University, and attracted to some sort of psychology degree as I'm interested in it and I think I'd be good at something in that field.

Cam anybody here offer me some hope / wisdom as to how to go about this?

My confidence is in the toilet, I am socially isolated, and have taken quite a battering mentally but I'm physically healthy and touch wood may have another 20 years in me which will be very bleal if I don't do something before I completely lose my mind. Apparently widowhood comes with a really shitty accessory pack including invisibility and being written off.

So

YANBU - there is hope
YABU - resign yourself to a life of bitter impoverished loneliness and just be grateful for your cats.

There’s always hope. You’ve undoubtedly had a very tough time of it, but you’re proving you’re stronger than you think every single day.

I wonder if there are local organisations where you can build your confidence such as volunteering for theatre groups and or getting into some part time(?) paid work which you consider your options around retraining. You presumably have a passion and skills there which would likely be hugely welcomed.
Studying can be a boost too - there are free modules to try it out on the OU.
I’d also check out job centre and also local colleges/council offer - mine offered a range of very good courses (I did woodwork, plastering and plumbing of all things) but counselling and ESOL and much more were available too at subsidised rates.

Thank you for the reply, all good ideas.

My main worry is destabilising my current financial situation by tinkering with working part time. Having looked at how it would affect UC I could end up worse off by a wide margin, and am already struggling. A full time job at MW would definitely screw me over ironically, although I'm not sure I'm mentally ready for that, and my last therapist definitely didn't think so. If I lost my one bed flat and my cats it would definitely be game over.

It sounds like you’ve had a really difficult time. I don’t understand your last comment, you can’t work part time, or full time on nmw because it wouldn’t be enough? Was going to suggest a job in a supermarket you also get cheaper food deals and discounts. Why would you lose your flat?

what sort of job would you like to do? Think of that then find out how to get there. Psychology is interesting but are you thinking of it to become a psychologist? Because all routes involve further study and doctorates now apart from occupational which is a masters. Who do you want to work with as a psychologist? Children? Mental health with adults? Elderly? Do you want to work inside or outside? Office? Are you active? Do you like working in a team? Decide what sort of workplace and colleagues and think back from there.

If you are considering a degree, have you considered how you would fund it and yourself while you study?
The OU offers party time degrees but they can take six years.

I think psychology is interesting but at your age I think finding something more practical that could lead directly to a job would be better.
Maybe looking for jobs perhaps in social care/social work with training provided might be better?

Someone the other day suggested working as an emergency services call handler to someone in your position which might be worth looking into.

You've had a tough time of it. Do you own your flat? What makes you fear you will lose it if you make changes?

My flat is privately rented and already eats up most of my UC - the rent is going up again in October. My landlord bless him doesn't understand that there is LHA that is fixed. Moving somewhere cheaper is not an option as I am in one of the cheapest areas in my town, and houseshares want working professionals.

If I worked I would lose my CT allowance, and add another 200 to my bills, plus transport costs would mean another 120 a month at least as where I live is "out of town" in terms of readily available employment. Currently after bills my monthly food budget is between 120 and 150. I have a storage unit that I'm struggling to empty as I have dead people's stuff to sort and dispose of which exercise also costs money, and I'm short on readily available manpower to help as alot of it is quite bulky.

The back story to all this is pretty personal and complicated. Honestly I feel as if I'm really thick as I'm just having difficulty knowing where to start.

I sympathise with the very hard time you’ve been having. And completely understand the limitations and hurdles you’re living with.

1. Don’t pursue psychology. Simply being interested in a subject you’ve had some personal involvement in isn’t a good idea. You do not need more of the same.

2. Go to the Mature Study and Retraining board on MN. It’s under EDUCATION. You’ll find countless threads there from people in similar situations.

Ah, thank you so much!! Shall definitely have a look xxx

Just another coming in to say, why psychology?

It's either just an undergraduate degree that doesn't qualify you in its own for anything in the field, or, if you want to be a psychologist, you need to buckle up for long, demanding and highly competitive training and a marked scarcity of jobs.

Nothing wrong with education for education's sake, but if you actually want a related job I would steer well clear.

You could think about going to uni to do an occupational therapy degree? Decent hours, reliable pay, NHS employment and I only hear positive things about it.

Good luck.

This. A degree in psychology will not get you into any jobs in that field, and will not help you with any job other than a generic grad job that just asks for any degree and I don’t think that’s your objective here.

Work backwards from what you want to do, to what is achievable, to what do you need to be qualified for those jobs

Sorry OP but I am also wondering about the choice of degree and whether psychology actually going to be useful.

You would spend 3 years studying something interesting, but then you might end up back right where you are now.

A psychology degree doesn't lead to anything in particular unless you then do further study and qualifications, and even once qualified, you may end up starting off in a job that is not far from minimum wage. Realistically it would not be much different to your current position until you have many years of training and experience under your belt.

If you just want to do something interesting for 3 years then go for it.

But if you want to get a job which is well paid and where you can progress, you would be better looking at a vocational course that leads to something or maybe an apprenticeship.

What about something like mental health nursing if you are interested in psychology? - That actually leads to something and they are crying out for people at the moment?

I have a psychology degree. I do work in a field that uses it but i am not a psychologist.

You'd be looking at around 10 years of study/gaining experience to actually work as a psychologist and its very compeititve. The degree is only the first step.

I agree with looking at what you'd like to do and work backwards from that.

One of my lecturers took early retirement at around your age and retrained as a plumber. I'd do something like that if I were going to retrain.

Very sadly @onesinglepringle they aren't crying out for them at all. Lots of nursing recruitment freezes and unemployed graduate nurses floating about at the moment.

Might be different in 3 years OP and it's a good shout.

honestly, I’d think about what your capacity for work is each week eg is full time achievable or what amount of part time hours? And if part time, how much would you need to earn per hour to replace or exceed your current state support?

I definitely would not be persuing a psychology degree but I would consider a) upskilling my technical abilities so I’m confident with Microsoft suite and a few other tools/software and b) doing a vocational qualification that has a direct career path and is in a ‘needed’ industry. To invest more money in training you’re going to want a guaranteed return.

however, at 57 I would think about the physicality of your chosen profession and if it’s something you can do another 10+ years in it.

for example trades like plumbing or plastering are in high demand and enable part time hours but are physically very demanding. Nursery workers are massively in demand but it’s a very physically active job and might not be well paid enough if you’re trying to exceed your current financial position

couldnyou invest in a session with a careers coach?

I would stay away from anything mental health related.

Do you still have an interest in Theatre? Art? Design? Are you in a town / city with worthwhile and accessible performances and venues? Building your life back will be one step at a time - but if you could start on the social isolation now that will help with your confidence and in all likelihood suggest more entertaining routes to wherever you’d like to end up.

Can you utilise the skills from your business? A lot of generic admin jobs pay above NMW and have additional benefits (pension provision, good sick pay etc.), and they may even be part-remote so your travel costs will be less while you get back on your feet. Look at jobs with local colleges and universities.

You say you have retail experience, what about call centre work? Again, a lot of it is WFH, and it doesn’t have to be forever but just while you get your bearings.

I personally would not go to university, OP. I think the job market is only going to get tougher and those three years you’ll spend studying could be spent on shoring up your CV instead. If you need specific skills development (e.g. IT) then a lot of colleges and local authorities provide free training courses you could look at.

I sympathise OP. I'm a very recent widow and struggle with how I and others may perceive me now I'm by myself. I also sympathise about the storage unit every thing is harder and takes longer if you are alone. Don't do psychology, it's interesting but it won't get you a job. Have a look at DfE funded courses. I think they are called skills for careers. And above all celebrate you. You have survived. You are stronger than you perhaps feel. Putting one front of the other each day is an act of heroism. Good luck.

Definitely look into the police control centre idea - on another thread a poster who was older and had lost her job in the arts due to AI was given that as a suggestion.
She came back to say she had been interviewed etc and was being considered for a managerial role.

It seems to be a post where age and life experience are actually valued - which is quite rare.

I know you are considering a degree but I would look around instead for jobs you are eligible to do that contain an element of on the job training and progression rather than a degree.
I am a similar age to you and recently undertook some training at degree level and I found it really hard to study, take in complex information, write essays etc - my post menopausal brain really didn't function how it used to!
A close friend of the same age did a degree course and it really stressed her out for similar reasons.

I don't mean to put you off studying because everyone is different, but I think where you are right now you need something more practical that will lead to fulfillment and, crucially, a salary, more quickly.

@MistressoftheDarkSide Definitely be thankful for your cats! It may be worth looking at some training or qualifications to give you confidence even if you do not end up following it for a job. It would also demonstrate that you are open to new things and willing to pick new things up.
Free courses if you are on UC
https://www.thinkmoney.co.uk/blog/free-college-courses-claim-universal-credit-qualifies-how-to-apply/

I would take the pressure off yourself to find paid work. If financial conditions won’t allow, but you feel able to give something, find a new volunteering opportunity. Maybe at a theatre? From one opportunity another can come forth - you get to know the team, you’re in another network - but by volunteering you know your benefits will remain stable and you are doing something really valued. Our local independent theatre relies on a strong network of volunteers who are amazing. You can also start small and then scale up if health allows.