AIBU to ask what to do after accusation against my daughter?

[Dithercats]

My teenage daughter was away on school type trip last week.
I had a phonecall today to say another child has accused her of hurting her, calling names and threatening behaviour.
No one observed any of this.
The holiday provision has referred to police & social services.
All I know is the above, no details at all.

My child genuinely isn't a trouble maker. The school type activity she was on is because of her good behaviour & grades at school. She is fairly shy and whenever girls have fallen out she steers clear.

I asked her about what might of happened last week to have this accusation and she had no idea what I was talking about.

I have asked holiday provision if they have the correct child - they are as surprised as i am as she has been with them the last 4 summers and never any bother.

Aibu to be asking wtf do I do? Just wait for the police and social services to knock on my door??? Help

How much supervision were the holiday club providing that they didn't see this?

How well do the children know each other? Could it be a case of mistaken identity, or hearsay? Not the part about her actually hurting someone, but hearsay about "so and so called you names and said they're going to beat you up"?

Adults are around and lead the structured sessions, but arent in bedrooms etc, though are around at unstructured times.
My child knew noone on arrival, children come from all over the country so thats usual.
No complaints at all during the trip, but the parent made a complaint today.
I have asked that they check its definitely my child (who has a very uncommon name).

The child was obviously quite hurt for them to get the police involved. Your daughter needs to tell you the truth.

I’d be interested to know what she did that merited a police and social work response. That suggests something more than a childhood spat, and they’d need to be very sure it was your daughter. I’d contact the provider for more information including how they knew it was my child.

They gave very limited information, but said the parent who phoned said it was my childs name.
They said they cant tell me more and have made the referral today.

This.

Or it's a load of bollocks/mistaken identity. I wouldn't be bothering DD further unless something actually came of it. I would be demanding as much information as possible from the provider and making sure they are not going around making baseless accusations.

What has your DD said? Does she recognise the name of the other child?

I would wait until you’re contacted and not agree to any „voluntary“ interviews or any such thing without a solicitor present.

I’d be surprised if something to this level happened and your daughter didn’t hear about it if it was another child as teens do talk. Have you asked her about any incidents that occurred?

You’ll have to wait until authorities get involved and hope that she engages.

I would wonder if there has been an mix up and they have the wrong child.

Just hold your DDs hand through this. If there is nothing to it, then it will blow over. If she has something to learn, let her learn it but also protect her.

Police phoned me regarding my DS when he was 11. It involved a stupid comment on WhatsApp (the person he referred to had left a group and DS made a derogatory comment about him so the original child did not even see the comment but it was shown to that child's parents). It wasn't nice but police involvement was silly. They phoned me and sounded quite embarrassed, asked if I wanted them to speak to DS. I said no as school had already dealt with it quite severely and I supported school sanctions even though I thought it was a bit extreme. Police were fine not to speak to DS directly.

So, yes, people can overreact with police. DS has never been in any of that kind of trouble again. He learnt his lesson but I only told him about the police involvement several years later!

Also, was there anyone on the trip who could be the victim of hate crime? Someone LGBTQ, from an ethnic minority or disabled? Has she made comments that are illegal in that sense? (Especially trans issues as we know some people are very vocal in this area?)

No idea who the child making the accusation is...or if its a boy or girl.
Just so little info and a referral to police & social services 🥲

The only child my daughter says was injured fell out of her bed & also fell off the bunk bed ladder and got hurt. The girls were all present in the room, called a member of staff, and spent the day giving piggyback & giggling 🤷‍♀️

So she fell out of bed AND off the ladder? Ask your DD how that happened. Ask her if she was close by the girl when those incidents happened?

Have you spoken to the people running the scheme? They should tell you something of any has happened surely?

You may find the injured child is the person who has made the complaint. It seems most likely if your daughter has mentioned that as the only person injured. It doesn’t mean your daughter has done anything wrong but this needs further investigation. If it’s serious enough for the provision to have contacted police and social services then they can surely tell you what the accusation is?

They cannot tell me anything more than what I wrote.
Google says now I wait for a disclosure statement of what my child is actually being accused of & by whom.

Well either they are blaming the wrong child or one of them are liying or your child is not the angel you think she is.

Something similar (accusation of sexual assault) happened to my friend's daughter. The daughter is the gentlest, sweetest girl, it was a shock to everyone involved that the finger was pointed at her. The police called her and every other person at the event to come in for interviews. They took statements. Nothing came of it, the whole thing was dropped (police never notified them, time just passed).

Two years later the same girl made the same accusation against another girl. Same outcome, also dropped.

Some years later (they'd all graduated from university by then), it emerged that the girl in question was being routinely sexually abused at home. Bit of a jump now, to your case, but the point is your daughter may not be the main character in this story much as it will feel to you right now that it is. Bide your time, follow the process, see where it leads you.

This is actually not rare sadly. Accusations can be made as a cry for help and they may not be towards the right person. So hopefully the child will get some help anyway.
what a horrible time to go through though. I hope you at least get the full picture soon. It feels very wrong to be told there has been a serious accusation but not what it is.

If it's PGL, DDs went once and the other kids there can be quite vulnerable, from looked after situations and broken homes. Bit of an eye opener for DDs and they had a good time overall but just something to know.

I would be demanding as much information as possible from the provider and making sure they are not going around making baseless accusations.

The provider isn't making accusations. The other girl is. But it's a safeguarding issue so they are obliged to report it.

Wait until you find out the finer details. It sounds like you know that this isn’t your child’s normal behaviour to be a bully.
I recall being accused by a liar in school too, she said that I pushed her, there was a verbal tiff with neutral witnesses.
When the truth is in your side don’t deviate from the truth, it is usually okay.
Some people lie.
I would be tempted to contact a solicitor when you get more details, if you can afford too.

If the victim has a Social Worker, especially if she is a Child In Care, and reports a physical injury that has left marks, then the carers may be under an obligation to report the incident to social care and police. These reports are more about safeguarding the victim than anything else, rather than seeking to criminalise another child.

In your position I would ask for the police incident number from PGL (or whoever), then phone 101 quoting the incident number and request an update.

Or just wait. They'll contact you and at that point explain more about what's happened. The provider can't because its a police investigation.

It must be a serious allegation for the Police and social services to be involved! I can understand how frustrating it is for you that the club can’t give you more information but I’d guess they won’t in case it allows your DD to pre think her responses to any questions. All you can do is wait for the police to contact you hopefully that won’t be long. Have right way given you ann incident/ case number from the police? That you could chase it up?