I have a 5-week-old daughter and I’m wondering whether I’m overthinking this situation or whether my partner’s family are creating an issue where there doesn’t need to be one.
Before the baby was born, one of my partner’s sisters told me that another sister had apparently said things like, “We won’t see the baby as much anyway,” and that even if I didn’t want to come somewhere, my partner could still come with the baby. The same sister apparently said she would turn up at the hospital and wait in the canteen for the baby to be born.
Fast forward to now, and I’m 5 weeks postpartum.
My partner’s mum was at the hospital when I gave birth. She asked if she could come and we agreed, but she was actually already there waiting in reception. She then came to see the baby again two days after she was born.
She has also had the baby for a few hours while my partner and I went out for a date night, and another time she had the baby overnight at our house while we slept. We’ve also been to her house with the baby for her birthday, where the baby was being passed around various nieces and aunties.
Today, my partner’s mum apparently said to him, “How’s the baby? I haven’t seen her in two weeks.” She also said that his other sister had said she’d only seen the baby once.
But this is where I’m getting a bit confused, because that sister has actually seen the baby twice.
I’ve now messaged his mum saying that they’re more than welcome to come over and that I’m home all week, especially as my partner is now back at work. She said she would let them know.
I think what’s bothering me is that it seems like they’re discussing between themselves how many times they’ve seen the baby and keeping track of it. They have actually seen her more than my own family have, so it’s not as though I’m keeping her away from them.
I’m also not currently speaking to my own mum, which his mum knows about, but she has repeatedly asked my partner whether my mum has met the baby yet. I’m not sure whether that’s just curiosity or whether she’s somehow keeping tabs/comparing who has seen her.
I completely understand that they’re excited about the baby and want to see her, but she’s only 5 weeks old and I’m still adjusting to being a mum myself.
Am I overthinking this? Is it normal for grandparents/aunts to discuss how often they’ve seen the baby, or does it sound like they’re creating an issue about access to her?
I’m not trying to stop them seeing her — I’ve literally told them they’re welcome to come over. I just don’t want to feel like I’m being monitored or that I have to keep track of who has seen my baby and how many times.