AIBU to feel uneasy about my boyfriend’s friendship with another woman?

[ByBreezyHare]

My boyfriend used to be a player, he’s a good looking guy and he gets female attention a lot. I always feel like I’m “punching” it’s taken me a long time to not feel insecure about it and worried about him finding someone better. He did once kiss someone else and that also did not help my insecurities.

He has come back in contact with a female that he used to be very good friends with. They have chatted on the phone a couple of times. And they message occasionally as far. They haven’t met up in years, he has been honest about all this and told me so it’s not like he’s keeping it from me.

But I am feeling uncomfortable about it, I don’t want to be the kind of person who says he can’t have female friends! But I do feel realy insecure about it and I guess possibly a little jealous. Is this unreasonable? How do people cope with their boyfriends having girls as friends?

Nothing you do or don’t do will stop a man (or woman) from cheating on you. Being jealous, insecure, putting limits on friendships etc will make no difference.

I have known men who conduct fully fledged affairs wholly within the workday.

It boils down to whether you trust him and if you don’t then what’s the point of the relationship?

My DH was very good looking when we met. I am far more of an acquired taste. People clearly wondered how I ‘got’ him. He could definitely ‘do better’ purely from an aesthetic point of view. He has never once given me cause to be jealous.

Your boyfriend has already kissed someone else. Are you worried there is more to discover?

If he used to be player he obviously enjoys the ego boost women give him. And I doubt he has changed. He will always be that type of guy who needs multiple women in his life.

I think it's concerning you view yourself as somehow inferior to him. That you feel that you are punching. If you are grateful that he is in a relationship with you then you are stetting yourself up to be treated as second best and accepting he will look for better alternatives to you.

If you stay in this relationship there is always going to be some other women he is contact with. So if you dont want a life of insecurity and distrust that affects your self esteem perhaps better to end things now