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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you know what I mean?

46 replies

user1464187087 · 22/08/2026 23:40

Has anyone else noticed an increase in people telling you something and then immediately after saying 'Do you know what I mean?'.
And they say it about every 10 seconds in the conversation.
I do know what they mean. But people I know seem to say it more regularly than ever.
And yes, I am grumpy.

OP posts:
Walkacrossthesand · 22/08/2026 23:42

Or ‘does that make sense’ as another equally irritating finial

user1464187087 · 22/08/2026 23:55

Walkacrossthesand · 22/08/2026 23:42

Or ‘does that make sense’ as another equally irritating finial

Yes, that too! If somebody says this sort of thing once in a conversation then i'm fine with it. It's when people say these things a million times in a short conversation. What is the point?😀

OP posts:
Brightbluesomething · 23/08/2026 11:33

I do know someone with a verbal tic who does this but he doesn’t recognise how often he’s doing it. Other than that, no.

Dragonflyspeeding · 23/08/2026 11:35

Another one is saying ‘I’m not going to lie’ before saying their vague opinion.

Irritating.

Zippidydoodah · 23/08/2026 11:37

🎵“All my people right here right now…” 🎵

yes, it’s annoying. The very worst is: “I’m not being funny or nothing, but…..”

SickandTiredofEverything · 23/08/2026 11:39

Yep - annoys me too. Have a family member with this verbal tick. My response is always ‘yes, I understand English perfectly well’

Plasti · 23/08/2026 11:44

It’s become pretty much an automatic tic these days for some people. Similar to “like”.

PinkKimonos · 23/08/2026 11:47

It’s not new, though. The person in my life who said it most was a university friend in the mid-90s. She became a teacher, and I always imagine her students having bets on how often she would say it in a class.

Runningswanker · 23/08/2026 11:47

I do this, I try not to as I've heard it's annoying. It comes from doubting whether I'm getting my point across and finding it hard to read the other person (I'm late diagnosed autistic so spent many years feeling like there were misunderstandings in conversations and doubting myself constantly)

MagpiePi · 23/08/2026 11:50

I went to a talk where the woman speaking said it all the time but it came out more as ‘jar-a-een’, which was irritating in its own way.

user1464187087 · 23/08/2026 12:20

Another one is when people say 'Obviously' a lot. Particularly about things that are not obvious at all.

OP posts:
Brucebogtrotter257 · 23/08/2026 12:33

When I know I'm not properly being listened to by my son I have a habit of saying "yes?" At the end of tr sentence to make sure it goes in. I find it initiates a reply better than anything else. I'll say something like " Make sure you brush your teeth after you've eaten that and instead of okay ill say yes?
I'm sure it's irritating but for some reason okay doesn't have the same effect!

Quine0nline · 23/08/2026 12:35

I think it was James Whale who, when confronted with a caller saying "do you know what I mean?" Would reply " No, tell me " every time.

shash1982 · 23/08/2026 12:40

A friend of mine says this during conversations, it's just a habit she has from when she was young and extremely shy, it doesn't bother me and I just take it as one of her quirks.
And to be honest, I'm sure we'd all find something irritating about another person if we really looked hard enough, I don't see the point in making someone feel humiliated by calling something inconsequential out.
Another friend did this to my 'do you know what I mean' friend and it really made her uncomfortable in a social setting, it came across as very unkind.

Does that make sense! 😉

MargaretThursday · 23/08/2026 12:42

I sometimes use "does that make sense" at the end if I'm explaining something because I've learnt by experience that my brain seems to be a bit quirky and although what I've explained is logical to me, it makes no sense to other people.

People can be very reluctant to say if you don't make sense to them because they feel it makes them look stupid, whereas I know it can be my way of explaining and nothing to do with them.

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 23/08/2026 12:48

Upward inflections at the end of sentences still annoy me, even though it's been a thing since Neighbours and Home and Away in the 80s.

It gives the impression they're asking a question when they're not.

Dumbledora8 · 23/08/2026 12:55

It's so fucking irritating!!!!

Dumbledora8 · 23/08/2026 12:56

Walkacrossthesand · 22/08/2026 23:42

Or ‘does that make sense’ as another equally irritating finial

I say this but it's because I actually don't know if I make sense half of the time 🤣🤣🤣

SENsupportplease · 23/08/2026 12:57

I do this, it’s due to anxiety and fear that I’m communicating poorly

Babybaby2222 · 23/08/2026 13:02

PinkKimonos · 23/08/2026 11:47

It’s not new, though. The person in my life who said it most was a university friend in the mid-90s. She became a teacher, and I always imagine her students having bets on how often she would say it in a class.

Yes im pretty sure 80s to. I remember saying it as a child teen. And I'm late 40s

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 23/08/2026 13:03

I really hate 'does that make sense', especially when it would be crystal clear to a 4 year old.

It sounds so patronising but I think for most of the people who say it, it's just become a habit.

Dontcallmescarface · 23/08/2026 13:13

I do this. I have a (mild) brain injury which for the majority of time doesn't affect me or anyone else except when I'm tired or stressed. Then, although the words are crystal clear in my head, they can sometimes come out a bit muddled so I say it to make sure what I meant to say is what has actually come out of my mouth. It can be hilarious and frustrating in equal measure.

HowardsWahey · 23/08/2026 13:17

One of my friends went through a highly irritating stage of saying "Do you know where I'm coming from?" I started to think, "No, but I know where I'm going..."

Dontlletmedownbruce · 23/08/2026 13:21

My sister says 'do you know the way..' I was driving on the motorway and it was busy, d'ya know the way and it was lashing rain and the wipers were on full d'ya know the way and...

It's a habit but also an invitation for a nod or a response from the listener. It doesn't bother me to be honest.

Friendlygingercat · 23/08/2026 13:21

"Know worra mean?" is a lower class Liverpool habit which thankfully I never picked up. Along with "and erm" every few words. Some of my relatives still do it.

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