AIBU to think this is not normal behaviour?

[Givenup2026]

This is the second instance that a man grabs my back / behind. One was sober )and my SILs partner) and the other one was my best friend's DH (although pretty drunk). My DH seems to think it’s not a big deal but he understands why I feel uncomfortable

Oh dear. You have some pretty sleazy men in your life Op. Including, disturbingly, your own husband.

I wonder what he does to other women

It’s not necessarily unusual behaviour (sadly, many men do this) but it’s certainly not acceptable and you shouldn’t put up with it, whatever ‘D’H thinks. Anyone who tried doing that to me would get an expletive and possibly a slap.

Disgusting. I’ve not clue why your husband thinks it’s no big deal. My husband’s uncle grabbed my arse at a wedding 9 years ago. My husband had his arm behind his back 30 seconds later and he’s not spoken to him since. I would be mortified if my husband brushed it off.

Back or arse?

Many a male friend touch my back in a pally / affectionate-but-platonic way. Totally fine.

If they touched my arse, I would literally punch them in the face.

Most people don't mind someone tapping them on the back (obviously wouldn't recommend with a stranger, but unless you know your mate has a back problem, don't see an issues with tapping them on the shoulder/back in a noisy bar, for example). Bum-no.

I think we didn’t answer quite as the Op wished us to, hence no return.

Was it back or arse?
Presuming it was arse, I’d be more worried about what the hell my DH is doing to other women if he thinks this is “no big deal”

Is the lower back where it starts to curve into the derrière.

I've asked my DH again and he basically gave me the same answer, that “it’s not OK but not abnormal” and that I have every reason to feel uncomfortable.

Op you have a lot of issues going on by your posting history. I wouldn’t add this to the litany ps is your DH still nicking your prescription meds?

How can you “grab” the lower back?