I’m not desperate for a relationship and I’m certainly not saying I’d just shack up with anyone because life is hard. But honestly, I really regret not looking for a partner sooner, when my kids were younger.
I think single mums get judged quite harshly when they start dating again, especially if it’s relatively soon after a breakup. There can be this assumption that they can’t be alone, are looking for someone to rescue them, or are putting a man before their children.
But having actually spent years doing everything alone, I can understand it a lot more now.
Being the only adult responsible for everything is bloody exhausting. All the decisions, all the practical stuff, the worries, the emergencies, the endless days where there’s nobody to tag in when you’ve had enough. You can be completely capable of doing it and still wish you had someone beside you.
I don’t need a man to survive and I wouldn’t settle for someone just because I was lonely. But I can understand why a single mum might want to find someone again fairly quickly. It doesn’t necessarily mean she’s desperate or incapable of being alone. Maybe she’s simply realised how difficult life is when you’re carrying everything on your own.
I spent years telling myself I didn’t need anyone and just getting on with it. Now I actually regret not putting myself out there when my kids were little. I wish I’d given myself the chance to meet someone and have someone to share life with.
I’m older now and dating feels like a completely different ball game. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I missed my chance to meet someone naturally.
So I suppose I’ve gone from judging/being puzzled by women who seem to get into another relationship quickly, to actually understanding it. When you know how hard life is alone, wanting someone to share it with seems pretty understandable to me.
AIBU?