To wonder if my five year old has ADHD

[onlyeathere]

Or is, well, just a five year old?

He is so boisterous and full of energy. Cannot sit still at the dinner table; up and down, down and up. Even when he’s sitting he’s sprawling, lying down on the chair. Same watching TV, he’s bouncing around all over the place.

He does sleep and eat well but doesn’t have downtime in the day, he just keeps going and going.

He can be very stroppy and argumentative with me and sometimes with other children but he does have friends and seems to be doing OK at school, although he’s had a couple of incidents at social times.

I am probably fretting about nothing, but three year old sibling is SO much calmer; watches TV, sits at the table.

I’ve 3 small boys. Sounds normal to me !

Haha @Pinkflamingo10 i hope so! He is just so full on compared to my other one but you’re right, he isn’t really that different to any other small child … but I wish he’d sit down sometimes!

Ive got 2 DSes with ADHD so his energy sounds normal to me 😜

However, mine didn't sleep well until medicated and both were fussy eaters until 9 years for one and we're still waiting for the 12 year old....

How often do you go out? We lived in a flat when they were young and we HAD to go out every morning and afternoon for hours on end. They had so much energy and didn't stop moving. Neither rain nor snow stopped us. The only thing that stopped us was a heatwave and even then we took them out at 6am to run around.

But in my view, little kids are meant to be brimming with energy. Its things like sleep and concentration and emotional outbursts that were more extreme for my DSes than other kids.

Normal

He needs to get outside more.

He's five, he shouldn't be sitting still really

My nearly five year old is the same she can’t sit still at the dinner table- always moving her body. Her teacher says she often loses concentration in class too (but I have sat in on some classes and I have struggled to concentrate too haha).
My more high energy three year old can sit still funnily enough- she sits really nicely to eat her dinner but is non stop the rest of the time.

Sounds absolutely normal for a 5 year old.

@TadpolesInPool (and @canuckup )we’re out all the time … today we left the house at 9 and only got back about an hour ago, that’s normal.

Hopefully it is normal, it is a bit exhausting though.

I have a 14yr old with ADHD, like another pp, he barely slept from birth, through the night until he was 18 months, but that would only be sporadic and until 4/5am. Only settled once he was 10 and taking melatonin. Reflux from at birth too.

Activity wise we HAD to be out a couple of hours a day. Each task would only last ten mins as he just couldn’t concentrate on anything any longer. It was exhausting!

Boundless energy, and chatting non stop.

you have to find a whole different way of parenting as they don’t care about star charts etc as they only tend to care about immediate rewards.

Still didn’t get diagnosed until we paid privately at 8, we weren’t listened to at school.

I think that sounds “high energy” rather than AFHD - they’re not the same thing. Just get him into lots of sports and outdoor activities so he can burn some of it off without needing you to so tire yourself out!

Thanks, to be fair he is good and will just run and climb and destroy utilise his energy well at parks etc. It’s just sometimes it would be nice to stick a film on …

Sounds normal to me, we liken our son to having a springer spaniel - he’s just got a lot of energy and it needs to be burnt off or he was literally climbing the walls. We did a lot of walking in the woods, climbing, swinging, races, parks, beach, whacking things with sticks and scooting. There was no such thing as an afternoon snuggled on the sofa watching films for us - it get’s easier once they can join sports clubs and burn off their energy that way and now we are much closer to teenager years he’s chilling out a bit.

Edited for spelling

@onlyeathere Sounds very normal to me! My DS1 was like this and is now 15 and a "normal" child.

I'd make sure he is getting a few hours outdoor exercise every day. Bike rides, long walks etc...

It’s hard work when boys are young but enjoy it while it lasts. At 14 they turn into sleeping eating machines who rarely emerge from their bedrooms.

When I look back it was obvious my DS had adhd from age 5/6.

I wish I’d recognised it then and pursued a diagnosis.

his later primary and early secondary school was so challenging and he was labelled as a naughty boy until we realised at age 15 what it was. once he had a diagnosis and medical school was such a turnaround

My 12 year old still can't sit through a film!

It is exhausting but they are fun too. We are both very sporty so just really leant into it. Lots of bike rides and swimming. Our holidays are always full of activities like canyoning and rock climbing.

How much exercise is he getting in a day? That's the key to answering the question I think. If he's just in the house or garden all day and can't settle I'd say that's standard.

My ADHD ASD 8 yr old at 5 would have an hour at the park in the morning, 2 hours at a trampoline park, run about the garden, and still be unable to sit down.

My friends boys of the same age would all be bouncing off the wall too but an hour long activity and they'd settle to eat lunch and watch a cartoon.

I’ve answered that a couple of times now

It’s just so full on, constantly talking / shouting, when he goes to play have to keep an eye all the time, annoying other kids, won’t sit still, up and down, down and up EAT YOUR LUNCH!

i’m not sure you have answered how much exercise he has actually - you’ve said that you’re out for large chunks of the day and that he will run around parks/go to trampoline places etc.

But people are literally asking how much exercise he has - by way of comparison when my nephew was 5 he was routinely doing an hour swimming, then 3 hours football, stop for lunch, then a long walk, then half an hour on the trampoline, then still running around the house. He doesn’t have ADHD he’s just energetic! At 15 he does 3 or 4 hours of training and organised sports on school days and more than that on weekends.

Often little boys can seem fidgety/restless because they’re high energy and not getting enough full on exercise.

@KarcherK5 well, he’s never still … if I go through this past week

monday - sports club 9-330; played outside for maybe another hour?
tuesday - spent all day at a country park
Wednesday - forest trail and play area (also all day!)
Thursday - the one day we didn’t do much
Friday - we did soft play followed by a woodland walk and a bouncy castle (all day)
today - football class then soft play

so he does get loads, to the point where I worry it’s way too much if anything as I keep reading that children need to decompress and have downtime but he is so incredibly difficult to manage when I try I end up giving up!

Yes I can see that is a lot because so much of it involves you having to be out with him, looking after him and a younger sibling so it must be exhausting!

The key with high energy kids is to find ways to let them stay physical and active without you needing to be active too.

Do you have a garden? A decent amount of space indoors? There’s all kinds of things you could get (trampoline, climbing frame, indoor climbing wall, football rebounder, etc) that would tire him out a bit without needing to be out all day. That may work better for giving your younger calmer child a break as well.

Yeah normal i would love to have half the energy of my kids

I don’t think most 5 year olds really have “down time” during the day. Most are full of energy all day, and move about/ play even during a bit of TV time.

You say he’s up and down from the dinner table but what would happen if you just don’t actually allow that? If my children 2&5 kept leaving the table I would simply remove their food.

Then he wouldn’t eat which isn’t really ideal.

So it does sound like you've meant in to providing all his sensory and movement needs which is great.

It depends on whether he's up and down because he has ADHD or because he just doesn't want to listen. If it's ADHD then letting him come and go is a disability accommodation and reasonable.

That said, I'd look at what the actual issue is, is he getting into anything? Is he leaving the room? If h s just off and on his seat ignoring it may help. So can a seat with a foot rest, worked wonders for my son. Others find a wobble board or elastic bands around the seat pegs to kick fulfil the sensory need to move. You could just start trying things, that's what we ended up doing

Good luck