To leave early after my dad told off my son?

[Sparklesbigtoe]

Will try & keep this brief cos I didn’t get many replies on my longer one and I’d really like to know if I’m overreacting or not. 5 yo DS & I are staying with my dad for a few days. Yesterday while we’re eating dinner he raised his voice (not quite shouted) at him & told him he has no manners and he doesn’t want to eat dinner with him again and that he needs to go straight to bed. DS wouldn’t sit still, kept getting up and burping at the table. All bad behaviour I know and I was dealing with it but my dad butts in. He goes on at him so much DS starts crying. He then suggests I’m not bringing him up properly and not teaching him any manners, says DS is rude for ignoring him earlier that day when he asked him a question (I wasn’t there but he wouldn’t have ignored him, he may have not understood or frozen out of shyness, which happens sometimes). I took DS to bed and went to bed with him and haven’t seen my dad since. I feel extremely unwelcome here now and just want to go home. Problem is we’re in rural Wales and the only way we can leave is to have my dad drive us to the train station. We’re due to stay till Sunday. What would you do? If I end up staying, what do I say to him today? He’ll never apologise to me or ds or admit he was in the wrong.

6 months? Mine was sitting at the table from a newborn.

Your son was misbehaving and being rude. Maybe your Dad wouldn't have had to step in in A) you had taught him correct behaviour at a table B) sorted it out so your Dad didnt need to intervene.
Get over it and teach your son some manners. You sound more bothered than your son

He's a shit dad.

The OP has already said he wasn't great and he can't talk to her DS but she's the adult stuck in.the middle and wants relationships so she needs to help them achieve this.

The alternative is to walk away and the OP doesn't want to do this

Your 6 month old was sitting at the table? Or do you actually mean he was in a high chair at the table, which is normal and nothing to boast about.

I'm surprised you've had so many people on your dad's side here tbh. I'm of the view that when a parent is there, you respect the parent. Sure, your son was definitely not behaving and that is disrespectful, not making light of that at all. However, it's not OK to cut across you and shout at your son when you're right there to the point he cries is disrespectful to you and your position as a parent.
I think if you leave, it'll cast a sour note moving forward. We had similar at our home with fil, my husband took him to one side and explained we don't shout like that at our kids and that their behaviour is our responsibility. He was huffy but got the point and hasn't intervened since. It's part of the switch from parent to grandad, and unless you're not there, he can't decide how to discipline your child. Have a calm chat, set the boundary and if he can't get on board then politely suggest you leave early. If you know he won't apologise, don't look for one, just look for him to accept the new boundary.

Yeah the dads, the Ops and the one you’ve invented probably.

It sounds like your father has no manners. That is the wrong way to correct a child. Especially, a child who is not yours. Your father can talk about it without raising his voice and being so draconian. Further, he should talk to the OP in a reasonable way about his concerns. If the son doesn’t learn some basic manners before starting school, it’s going to be harder for him to fit in. If he has playdates in other people’s homes, he needs to know how to behave. Even so, DF was out of line.

No, the truth I’m afraid.

And the fact that OP has absolutely no idea how to get to the station without a lift from the “abusive, controlling” dad, says a lot.
you have no idea what type of man he is … you only know the type of man that the OP wants you to believe he is.
Anyway, the truth hurts as OP appears to have “done a runner” from this thread when faced with the truth … sounds familiar!

The arrogance of you acting like you were actually there and/or know the op personally 😂

Taking away food, even pudding, is a really slippery slope. You're gonna end up with a child that has a really poor relationship with food!

Hugs OP, your dad sounds like a bully. Make an excuse and leave. You don't need to have any kind of confrontation. Just get you and your son out of the situation and in future if you feel like you have to see him, just make it a day and go somewhere neutral.

Your son is 5, and your dad's behaviour towards him and you is way worse than any 5 year olds table manners.

Teach your child manners then you wouldn’t have this problem

So your son was rude, burping at the table and being naughty and disrespectful in your dads house? No he wasnt in the wrong. Your son should know how to behave