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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think he should ask before using granddaughter's photo?

79 replies

BerylsMum · 20/08/2026 11:59

My boyfriend is using his gorgeous granddaughter’s picture as his WhatsApp profile picture without her prior consent…when I indicated it might not be appropriate he said he’d change it but wait for her to comment…I said maybe he should have asked her first but I’m not really comfortable with this

OP posts:
CatA27 · Yesterday 17:53

throwawayimplantchat · Yesterday 17:22

I’m not trying to be combative but I’m struggling to see how you can’t see the potential risk.

Just one example - imagine if your grandchild is a tween / teen and discovers that realistic sexual images bearing their face are being shared around school, uploaded to pornographic forums or passed around by strangers. “But everyone knows AI exists” is hardly going to make that experience inconsequential to them.

It could still result in humiliation, bullying, harassment, blackmail and enormous distress. It’s still extremely disturbing and upsetting. And it’s avoidable while our children are young enough to not have their own social profiles.

But that could and does happen regardless of where the photos come from. And I think you underestimate people, everything we see online has to be questioned as to whether its real or accurate and I would that hope that people would do that. Me posting photos puts my kids at no more risk. In fact you might argue that it puts them at less risk of being groomed as these people can make their disgusting stuff with no actual contact with any child.

throwawayimplantchat · Yesterday 18:13

CatA27 · Yesterday 17:53

But that could and does happen regardless of where the photos come from. And I think you underestimate people, everything we see online has to be questioned as to whether its real or accurate and I would that hope that people would do that. Me posting photos puts my kids at no more risk. In fact you might argue that it puts them at less risk of being groomed as these people can make their disgusting stuff with no actual contact with any child.

But nobody is saying keeping photos private removes every possible risk, or that posting a photo means something bad will definitely happen.

It simply gives strangers another source of identifiable images of your child that they can copy and manipulate. If those photos weren’t publicly available, they couldn’t obtain them from your social media.

And I think you’re massively overestimating people’s ability to distinguish fake content from real content. Ofcom found that while 69% of adults said they were confident they could identify misinformation, only 22% could correctly identify the signs of a genuine social media post without making mistakes. Their research on deepfakes found only 9% of adults felt confident they could identify one. A 2024 study of more than 86,000 people found people identified AI images correctly only around 53% of the time, essentially no better than randomly flipping a coin.

Technology is also becoming more realistic, not less.
I also don’t think there’s any basis for suggesting AI child sexual abuse material makes real children safer because offenders can use that instead of grooming them. Abuse isn’t a fixed amount of demand that can simply be diverted into AI. Fake sexual images of a real child can themselves be used to humiliate, bully, threaten or exploit that child.

Parents can absolutely look at the risk and decide they’re still comfortable sharing photos. That’s a personal judgement and up to you, of course. But saying posting identifiable photos publicly creates no additional risk at all, or might actually protect children from grooming(!), is a very different claim and I don’t think the evidence supports it.

NovemberMorn · Yesterday 19:18

The thought of my grandkids faces being shown in porn pics turns my stomach.
It may not physically harm them and they wouldn't be aware, but it could come back to haunt them when they were older, depending on where the child porn ended up.

I would never post their pics on a public forum or use them where people other than close family and friends had access.

QuizNight · Yesterday 20:39

Besidemyselfwithworry · 20/08/2026 14:05

This is very weird

So is the fact your “boyfriend” has a grand-daughter who is 35 and you’re referring to someone who must be in their 70’s or 80’s as a “boyfriend”

What a strange comment. Older people exist. Why can’t someone in their 70s have a boyfriend or girlfriend? I wasn’t aware there was an age limit on it. What do you want her to call him? ‘Partner’? ‘Special Friend’? If they’re going out, he’s her boyfriend.

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