AIBU to think he should ask before using granddaughter's photo?

[BerylsMum]

My boyfriend is using his gorgeous granddaughter’s picture as his WhatsApp profile picture without her prior consent…when I indicated it might not be appropriate he said he’d change it but wait for her to comment…I said maybe he should have asked her first but I’m not really comfortable with this

Mums net is a weird paranoid place sometimes. I just had a quick flip through my own contact list on whatsapp and scanned the photos.

Whilst there are many of the people who use thier own photo on their profile... equally there is a wide selection of people using random views, sunsets, cartoon images, photos of children, group photos of an entire family (incl kids), dogs, cats. there are a good number with no photo at all. My own profile pic is a farm animal.

People use all sorts of images on their SM and Whatapp. Whilst I can see why using child images might be seen as unwise... its not any drama to use whatever photo you like surely??

I think OP and many of the posters on this thread are overthinking TBH.

i totally agree with this , he’s a proud grandad

You are really thick as mince, aren't you? People don't keep their kids off the internet because they think their family and friends are pedos, it's because you have put their images on the internet where anyone can access them (which is the case for most profile pics).

Your parents are weird!

Get a life

Oh please, anyone could take photos of your kids in the park on the beach, in a restaurant, why would they need to steal them?

I'd hazard a guess and say a 35 year old will have whatsapp and will have seen it. Its up to her if she's bothered. Got nothing to do with you or your comfort.

My parents have pics of their grandchildren as their profile pictures. They love them. Like seeing pictures of them. They only message other family members and friends. Don’t think they see it anything other than using a picture they like as their profile picture. They have never taken a selfie in their life though and they aren’t “phone heavy” and use it as a tool rather than attached to them.

My mum has me as hers. She didn’t ask me, I don’t mind it’s just WhatsApp!

Are they very ignorant? That’s awful of them. Don’t they realise what “just WhatsApp” is?

Surely it depends on who can see your Whatsap profile in the first place.
If it's just friends and family lurking paedophiles wouldn't be able to access any of the pics shown (unless they are in that group)

I don't think so. I think using a photo of a 35 year old woman when you're in reality a 76 year old man is presenting yourself as someone you're not. And he's using that with other old guys and whoever he's in contact with. He may be related but they're not and there's possibly creepers among who he interacts with. It's good OP got him to switch it.

I think it's unwise to post kids' pictures online, nor is there any real privacy online. Cats, dogs, snakes, sunsets, cool.

Sorry are you suggesting that people aren’t using images of children on social media to create AI generated child sexual abuse material?

There’s been so much in the news about it recently I’m struggling to understand how you believe that it isn’t happening?

@CatA27If you have children please do take the time to read some of the advice around this subject.

https://www.nationalcrimeagency.gov.uk/news/new-guidance-for-parents-and-carers-as-ai-manipulated-images-of-children-become-a-growing-concern

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2026/jul/03/ai-sexual-abuse-fears-uk-parents-warned-posting-images-children-national-crime-agency

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd7wj7d0jzzo

https://www.iwf.org.uk/resources/ai-child-abuse-imagery-parent-guide

Where did I suggest that it wasnt happening? I said it makes no odds, if a paedo wants to they can get photos from anywhere. They can steal from social media or they can take their own, what difference does it make?

I have children and grandchildren, tell me, what is the risk? Someone makes a fake image/ video.....its not real, my child isnt being abused so what is the risk to them? Obviously making these images is illegal but I cant do anything to stop that, that is down to police and governments. People know nowadays that 80% of what you see online is manipulated content so, although I obviously see the problem with child abuse I dont see that me posting photos of my kids makes that any worse or more risky

I know some people who use a dead parent or their own kids, I find that weird, but this on a different level, but fine if they are in the picture with the account holder.
Is he trying to chat to other girls of a similar age?

With AI, people can make fake videos using your kids or grandkids' faces.

Say your relative has a disagreement with someone and fake video of them doing something offensive or criminal shows up online. All images can now be manipulated. How would you feel about posting images that have been used and manipulated in ways you are ignorant about to cause harm for your relative?

It's a terrible idea and frankly, a lot of old people are behind the times and uninformed. "It's just me bring proud of my grandkids" can turn into online bullying or much worse.

How can it cause harm? What will happen to my relative? Does it need stopping? Of course it does but me not posting photos of myself or my family on Facebook will not stop it. The only way it could be stopped by the general public is by everyone going round with masks on or not leaving the housr. Anyone wearing a pair of glasses can be filming or secretly taking photos of anyone around them. If they want to they will, photos on social media put someone at no greater risk. If my relative has a disagreement with someone? What has that got to do with AI images? They could do that with or without my online posts! I am not behind the times or uninformed, I am very informed but as of yet, no one has told me how me posting photos is any more risky than someone filming my kids going to the shop or a theme park or playing out on the street.

I'm with you. My profile pic is of me and my adult son. If some pervert turns him naked or worse, how does it harm him? He wouldn't be embarrassed. He hasn't done anything wrong. No one has access to his soul by accessing his picture and his picture is in the public domain all over the place, like everyone elses.

I think you're being deliberately obtuse, but whatever.

It's incredibly easy to use photos like those you're posting for others to generate content. That content might be monetized, it might be offensive, it might be pornographic.

Totally innapropriate. Hes putting his adult childhood in awkward position by making them having to confront your bf.

Show him this thread and hopefully he will reconsider his ignorance.

You literally said “why would they need to steal them?” which to me read as you saying they weren’t being stolen. I think most people would read it that way tbh.

Yes agreed, it is actually weird.

I’m not trying to be combative but I’m struggling to see how you can’t see the potential risk.

Just one example - imagine if your grandchild is a tween / teen and discovers that realistic sexual images bearing their face are being shared around school, uploaded to pornographic forums or passed around by strangers. “But everyone knows AI exists” is hardly going to make that experience inconsequential to them.

It could still result in humiliation, bullying, harassment, blackmail and enormous distress. It’s still extremely disturbing and upsetting. And it’s avoidable while our children are young enough to not have their own social profiles.