AIBU to think he should ask before using granddaughter's photo?

[BerylsMum]

My boyfriend is using his gorgeous granddaughter’s picture as his WhatsApp profile picture without her prior consent…when I indicated it might not be appropriate he said he’d change it but wait for her to comment…I said maybe he should have asked her first but I’m not really comfortable with this

I initially voted YABU as had visions of a young kid but a 35 year old seems like he is being a little deceptive so no YANBU

Why wouldn’t I be okay with that?

You say it's because he loves his family and it's not weird but to me it is.

Using a picture of a younger family member of the opposite sex as your profile picture without (or even with) their consent is definitely weird. It looks as if he's trying to pretend to be her?

I get it if you took the pic or they sent it to you and gave consent and you use it as wallpaper or lock screen or something. But not profile pic?!

Lots of people have a picture of their kids, grandchildren, pets, etc as their profile pic.
I don't.
Edited to say if they message one another, surely she knows about it?

Yeah - this is not okay. Even if the intention is innocent, it looks dodgy as hell. It also means his granddaughter’s image will be in general circulation amongst a bunch of older men who may view her through different eyes to his. It’s just wrong.

I see where you’re coming from but he probably looks at that photo and still thinks she is about 10 years old. He’s proud of her and wants to show her off - I doubt he has any weird pervy thoughts about it.

My partners profile pic is his 2 DDs - on a prom night.

I'd assume she's already seen it if it's his WhatsApp profile pic, and is fine with it?

Do you have no concerns that putting a photo up of a real person, not yourself, across the entire internet could be dangerous? Despite all the evidence about misuse of images? It’s completely irresponsible.

Oh dear. No, sorry, I haven’t drunk the paranoid juice.

A picture of him with 35 year old stunning granddaughter not weird, a picture of stunning granddaughter with other family members not weird, a picture/ selfie of stunning 25 year old granddaughter alone very creepy- sort of like getting a kick from how attractive she is as a woman or even more sinister trying to mislead people he is her or he’s with her.

FGS.

You’re incredibly naive. Do you put lots of photos of yourself and your children online? I hope not.

Nope. But I don’t see any problem with my parents having their grandchildren as their profile pic when they only speak to other family members and close friends.

I have taken everyone’s comments on board and thank you all and have discussed the “situation” with my bf and explained exactly how I feel about him using his lovely granddaughter’s picture…he’s really not that clued in to social media and all its’ connotations …what’s inappropriate or not and he immediately changed the photo back to him …thank you all again and problem solved 🤗

This is very weird

So is the fact your “boyfriend” has a grand-daughter who is 35 and you’re referring to someone who must be in their 70’s or 80’s as a “boyfriend”

Whether his mates know it is his grand daughter or not this a serious breach of her privacy.
Have you told him how wrong this is?
Have you told her he is using her photo? Because i really think you should if he persists in doing this.

It’s not paranoid if it’s true. Paedos steal pics of kids from social media and get AI to create videos of them. Get a clue!

Why are you happy for others to use photos of your DC if you yourself don't?

Yes I’m sure my mum’s sisters are just awful, awful people

I didn’t say I didn’t. I use them as my profile pics too. I still don’t post lots online 🤷‍♀️

He is 75 ..
I am 77

Have you seen the warnings to parents against doing so from the U.K. National Crime Agency? Basically, innocent images of children are been taken from social media and AI is then been used to make child sexual abuse images.

Lots of people use the "thing" that they love most (it's strange that people with tons of family use their pet, or car, but there you go).
Someone old enough to have a granddaughter is often less likely to have the sort of mind that immediately leaps to the problems of having another photo, rather than using their own image.
It's just like a lot of older members of my family post pictures on socials that the younger ones don't. Not always, of course, some people of any age have what Christie called a mind like a sink.

Eg? What have your mum’s sisters got to do with anything?

Oh wow, that is really really weird! I’ve seen people use cute baby photos (controversial in itself) but 35 years old? Is there anything else off about this man?