AIBU to object to sleeping on the sofa at 20 weeks?

[PrincessNads05]

I am currently 20 weeks pregnant. My DH and I live in a 2 bedroom apartment, and plan to have some relatives stay over for one night. They’re a family of four with two children aged 10 and 15. I’m happy to have to them stay over, and we’ve been making arrangements to make them feel at home. Initially, we had decided to sleep in the guest bedroom (which is a little smaller) and ask the guests to stay the night in the master bedroom, which sounded like a good plan. Our couch is big enough to sleep one person comfortably, and we’ve also got a floor mattress to use in the living room. I was under the assumption that the visiting couple would stay in the master bedroom and the kids would take the living room, while we sleep in the guest room. AIBU for getting annoyed at the suggestion of my husband that we offer the guest room to the kids, and that I sleep on the couch if they agree? At 20 weeks pregnant, I’ve already started developing discomfort when sleeping and I’m just irked by the idea of my husband not considering my comfort over that of the guests. I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable, but does that mean I put my comfort aside? I don’t know if I’m wrong, but I need an outsider’s perspective. It is just one night, and I may be blowing things out of proportion. I haven’t voiced my concerns to my husband, because I don’t want to seem rude but it’s just internalised annoyance at the moment.

Why would you let someone else sleep in your bed?? They can have the guest room

No way, your DH probably doesn’t understand how uncomfortable pregnancy can be so it’s probably coming from a place of wanting to be a good host.
I really doubt your guests would allow their DC to take your bed while you sleep on the sofa anyway.
Youngsters will be fine on the sofa for 1 night. I also wouldn’t be giving up my bed, put the couple in the guest bedroom. I would feel awkward taking a pregnant woman’s bed

If I were the guest, I would be completely mortified if my pregnant host was sleeping on a sofa just so that my children could have a bed.

I always feel awkward when someone gives up their room for me, I don't feel able to relax in their bed surrounded by all their things. I'm much more comfortable in the guest bedroom as I know I haven't put anyone out.

Yup, this. If you don’t have the space comfortably, and it really doesn’t sound like you do, then they stay in a hotel.

Pregnant woman absolutely takes priority here. No way should kids have a bed and you sleep on the sofa. You should be in your normal bed and guests sleep on sofa.

As a guest I'd feel really awkward sleeping in the hosts bed and much prefer it if they put me in the guest room even if it is smaller.

In your situation, I'd only be moving rooms if the master was big enough to fit airbeds for the kids and have the visiting family all in there so you can keep the living room clear. Otherwise, explain that you've got the guest room, sofa and airbed and see what they think is the best arrangement for them all to sleep.

15 year old will probably not go to bed before you anyway and 10 year old could always start off in parents bed and be carried to sofa later if the parents don't fancy the sofa themselves.

There is a certain kind of man who puts others over his own family, including strangers. And everybody thinks he is an amazing and wonderful person and he laps it up. I hope your husband is not this kind of partner.

no way should you be on the sofa

Yes, don't allow a precedent to be set. My MIL was given my bed after my c-section & I was pointed to an inflatable mattress on the floor. Now Divorced.
In your circs. Give adults the guest room & kids in living room. Or other way around if kids young. Keep your own room. As a guest it's really awkward sleeping in someone else's regular married bed.

💯 say no and stay firm.

Your husband is thoughtless to say the least. Generosity to his family shouldn’t come at the expense of your comfort.

Omg! I hope you got the bed?

For one night your visitors have the guest room ( for the teens) and the sofa bed ( for the adults). If they aren’t happy then they can always find a hotel to stay in.

@nomasNo (I look back in amazement now)

Why do grown adults bunk down at people's houses rather than just stay in a hotel?

Being pregnant is irrelavent. In this scenario you both stay in your bedroom, visiting adults in the guest room and kids in the living room. Bizarre to consider otherwise. Also I never understand people who give up their own bed for visitors - last thing I would want is to turf someone out of their own bed and/or want sleep in their bed. How weird.

After years of giving up my bedroom for relatives ect
i realised that they are the visitors. Careful that this does not become the praxis. If you do it now and they’ll come again they’ll feel downgraded if you don’t offer it again.
Trust me, you are worth your bedroom at all times.

I would have put the adult guests in the guest room and their kids in the living room (or if the guests prefer, the kids in the guest room and adults in the living room). Why put the guests in your room where all your stuff is for the sake of them having a bigger room? You'll have to get everything you need out in advance (or keep going in and out to get things, which feels like an invasion of your guests privacy).

If you've previously stated to your husband that your sofa is very comfortable to sleep on, I don't think he's being that unreasonable to suggest you sleep on it, especially if you'd perhaps mentioned the guest bed being uncomfortable. But having personally had a lot of hip pain in my pregnancies I would also prefer my own bed to any other sleeping surface and certainly would have avoided sleeping on a sofa if it wasn't a proper sofa bed with a mattress.

ETA it would just be weird for you to end up sleeping on the sofa in this scenario though given the information you've provided!

I would stay in your room and adults stay in spare room. The kids can manage in living room on mattress an/ or couch. I would do this even if you were not pregnant. Good luck with sorting this. 🍀

Why are you even offering them your master bedroom? Guest room is for guests.

However when I was pregnant especially in the late stages I found sleeping on the sofa much more comfortable.

Why haven't you said what you think, why is Mumsnet full of women who can't verbalise what they want and think. It's bizarre if it's real.

Yes otherwise why have a guest room?

Put your husband in the shed. If no shed, put him in the wheelie bin. What an absolute tool to even suggest his pregnant wife doesn’t sleep in her own bed. I’m quite angry on your behalf.

Do not compromise on this. Set the expectations now and set them high.

I agree, but we are socialised not to. See #BeKind, which is only ever applied to women and girls.

What is your guest room for if not for guests?

You have a guest room for guests. That's where they stay. Kids can have an air mattress on the floor.

Anyone trying to turn a pregnant woman to sleeping on the sofa should be ripped a new one. Totally unreasonable of your husband to suggest that.

Don't turn yourself inside out for guests. Keep your room, and tell your husband he's a jerk suggesting you sleep on the sofa. Are these his relatives coming?