AIBU to skip a work away day because of epilepsy medication side effects?

[Lilifer]

I have recently started a new job, and there is a team away day next Tuesday in Leeds. I found out about the confirmed date yesterday after returning from two weeks leave, everyone else has had weeks to plan and book travel.

Here is my dilemma. I am based in Northern Ireland and I do not currently drive as my licence was surrendered following a tonic clonic sezure last summer and a subsequent diagnosis of epilepsy. I am waiting on the DVLA to return it.

Getting to the airport requires a taxi which is about an hours drive away. The only realistic return flight gets me home at around half ten at night meaning I would not get home till close to midnight.

On top of all of this I have just increased my anti seizure medication this week and am experiencing significant side effects including dizziness and fatigue. My neurologist has advised me to avoid unnecessary exhaustion and stress. I am 56 and don’t had the same energy these days anyways but even worse now with the side effect. I work from home so can work around this but the travelling part is going to be really hard just due to all the circs.

Everyone else attending is based in England so for them it is a train or car journey.
Part of me feels I should make the effort as it is an early opportunity to meet my new team in person and I do not want to make a bad impression. But another part of me feels that pushing through a gruelling last minute journey while on new medication with these side effects is genuinely not sensible. I am also terrified of triggering another seizure just as I am about to get my licence back after not having had it for 15 months now.

Would you go? And would you judge someone in these circumstances for not going?

Thanks I will absolutely be having a convo with him when he gets back next week

I’m glad my post helped you feel less alone. It’s been 26 years since I was diagnosed and it still feels like my entire life has to revolve around my epilepsy. I have to take it into consideration for nearly every decision I make. People have no idea how much having epilepsy constrains a person’s life every single day. The seizures are awful, but they’re just the tip of the iceberg in terms of how much of an impact the diagnosis has on your life.

I'm epileptic and know all too well the difficulties dizziness and other medication side effects plus the logistics of not driving when its not your choice. I wouldn't go, yes not ideal, but I can't imagine your going to be your best social self feeling how you do. Personally I find I can have a seizure just worrying about things like this, so I would make the decision and stick to it.

However if that is what you choose, I think you do need to show your manager good curtsey by having an honest conversation about your condition and the effects as soon as your manager is back. Most workplaces are more accomodating than expected.

I am happy to talk to him about it, I just didn’t expect this trip to come up so soon and be organised so quick although I guess a lot of the team live in or near Leeds so don’t need much notice, if it had happened a months or 6 weeks from now and I hadn’t been on leave I’m sure I would be fine to go, used to the meds etc, but this has now precipitated a convo I need to have with him