Co-parenting issue, AIBU?

[Roo1515]

My ex and I have our two teenage kids 50/50. No maintenance paid. Not particularly amicable.
Ex has a new partner who lives 2 hrs+ away from what is classified as home for the kids. He has decided to split a lot of his time between his house at ‘home’ and new partners 2 hrs+ away, often taking the kids with him on his weekends when able and his half the time when he has them in school holidays etc when they kids agree to go. He still has a house in the home town where kids school etc is.
Ex is now stating that we need to spilt the travel, asking that I travel the 2 hrs+ to pick them up after his time with them to keep it fair.
I am being unreasonable to refuse? If he wishes to take the kids there during his time, he should in my opinion be taking the hit on the travel and the time / cost implications of that?

This is entirely his problem. What a cock.

Do you have a CAO? If so check it.

If he moves the goalposts he needs to suck up the extra travel.

Teenage is a wide range, what do they feel?

You’ve got an arrangement and he’s decided to make it harder for himself.
He needs to suck up the extra travel.

He can buy travel tickets for the dc if old enough.. his new life isn't yours to facilitate..

I don't think he understands the word need. You do not need to facilitate him not having to pick up his kids when he moved away. This is a him problem.

He’s moved away from his kids so it’s his problem to solve. Tell him to do one.

They are 14 and nearly 16. They do go, but eldest is often more reluctant. No CAO in place.

I doubt the Dc will want to continue going - their lives with friends and hobbies become so important for teens.

But obviously your ex has lost his marbles.

He is prioritising his NP over his kids, he doesn't get to demand that you facilitate his choices.

Maybe suggest that as he now seems unable to honour the 50/50 agreement and the Dc become more involved in their home social lives it might be time to review the whole arrangement incl CM.

What an absolute tosser.

Yanbu, he hasn't even moved there, he could just not go when the kids are there or the new gf could come to his.

I’d laugh or just ignore him. This is obviously not your problem.

Not your problem, he's choosing to go over there nobodies forcing him

At 14 and 16 why can’t they come back on their own?

Tell him to jog on.

How has it normally been split?
Is this why he thinks he has ground to ask?
Can the children not get on a train home - paid by him?

I don't think you should have to accommodate the request at all. His choice to go visit her with them.

Most importantly do you drive? As if you don't and he expects you to pay for a train/bus he is definitely out of order!

Obviously not. He can buy them train tickets if he wants. I’d be making it clear to DC that they don’t have to go.

No he is a twit. She should come to his house on his weekends or he needs to suck up the travel. What a nob trying to make it your problem

You're supposed to drive your children for hours at a time so he can get his leg over ?

No! Entirely his problem.

I agree with pps - tell him you’ll facilitate by collecting them from the railway station closest to your own home but the court would say if he moves away, it’s his responsibility to pay for and sort out the travel.

Surprised the teens are agreeing to go!

Ask the DC if they want to go to his place two hours away or prefer his home close by. If they prefer staying local just tell him that the DC no longer want to go two hours away for contact and the problem is solved.

Thank you everyone - it’s reassuring to know I’m not alone with my thoughts on this!

Nope, it's his decision to go to his girlfriends house, not yours & not your kids.

If he doesn't like the travel, then he can keep the kids at his own house when he has them.

He just wants to take the kids to her house so that she is the one cooking & cleaning after both him & his kids, so he doesn't need to lift a finger. (And he gets sex at the same time as well as saving time & money!! 🙄)

Lazy, selfish cock womble!!

No thank you.

you have had a system in play for years that works he chose to move away

His problem. Ask a solicitor to write a really nice letter. You have no issue with him changing the agreed arrangement as long as children are happy. But if you takes them out ofbthe locality it is up to him to return them at agreed time.
Get it logged.

Hang on,
So you both live in say, Manchester
But now he is dragging them off to say, York
And he expects you to pick them up and bring them home - a 4 hour round journey at a cost to your time, petrol and wear and tear on your car?
Hell, no

He pays for them to get the train or National express if he can't/won't bring them back.

If he weaponises it and stops seeing them then you go to CMS as it will no longer be 50-50 split.
He has to choose:
Petrol/time or Maintenance/living costs

And prepare your kids for the worst, which is him following his dick in lieu of seeing them Xx

But not even because he’s moved there, just so he can go see his girlfriend!

Tell him where to go OP. I also wouldn’t even communicate with him anymore, your DC are old enough now.