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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So angry with dh

70 replies

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:41

We'd just come in from shopping. I hadn't heard someone knock on the door but then suddenly heard dh start getting aggressive. He was saying loudly ' why would I think I was in trouble? ' and some other stuff. But so nasty.
I thought someone must be having a go. I had no idea what the hell was going on. I went to the door and it was a young lad about 17 trying to sell broadband. He'd obviously been told to start with that line. I've heard it before.
I told dh to get away and I profusely apologised to the lad. He said it's ok.
I started screaming at dh and swearing. I was so angry. I said what if that had been one of our sons or dgss? I said do you know how aggressive you were being. He said i do now. I said who the fuck am I married to?
He's outside sitting in the garden.

We've been together a long time. He's rarely aggressive. Usually calm.

There'd been no tension beforehand.

It's marred how I feel towards him tbh.

Edited for spelling.

OP posts:
CinderellaGotOld · 17/08/2026 15:42

Your reaction doesn’t sound great either

JustGiveMeReason · 17/08/2026 15:43

So, it's not okay for dh to be aggressive, but it is for you to ? Hmm

I mean, I don't think either are okay, but it seems you have double standards.

Prisonbreak · 17/08/2026 15:43

What?

NC9000 · 17/08/2026 15:43

why would I think I was in trouble

That sounds like the tamest statement in the world. I think you're highly over-reacting. If I were him, and this was the extent of the encounter, I'd wonder what was wrong with you.

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:43

Obviously me screaming wasn't cool either. I was just so angry. Only us in the house but I'm sure next door will have heard. Hopefully they're both at work?

OP posts:
CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:45

It wasn't what he said it was how aggressive he was.
And yes my reaction was bad.

OP posts:
murasaki · 17/08/2026 15:45

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:43

Obviously me screaming wasn't cool either. I was just so angry. Only us in the house but I'm sure next door will have heard. Hopefully they're both at work?

Sp you're more concerned about the neighbours hearing, rather than that definitely you and possibly him are aggressive.

Marroon · 17/08/2026 15:46

Bizarre.

Herenowatbroad · 17/08/2026 15:48

I suspect that this is made up.

or the pair of you are both in very serious need of anger management therapy and would probably benefit from support more generally

sweetpickle2 · 17/08/2026 15:48

Its hard to tell from your post exactly what he said or how he said it, but it's a bit rich to say you're angry at him for reacting aggressively when that's what you did.

Herenowatbroad · 17/08/2026 15:48

Marroon · 17/08/2026 15:46

Bizarre.

Isn’t it?

Just got hope the pair don’t have children

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:48

No I'm more concerned at how he reacted to a young lad who's obviously got a job out of desperation.

Anyway he's back in. He said he'd gone and found him and apologised. Lad said don't worry about it. We both apologised to each other.

Am very relieved.

OP posts:
PashaMinaMio · 17/08/2026 15:49

Oooh, bit harsh OP. Husband was probably a bit assertive but you certainly seemed to make matters worse but I think you’re recognizing that maybe?

Lessons learned.

Is it a catalyst for deeper marital issues?

Insidelaurashead · 17/08/2026 15:50

Was this broadband guy TalkTalk, OP? I've just put in a complaint with them because we got 'is this your house or are you casing the joint' not long after we were burgled. Why anyone would think this was okay or funny is beyond me and I'm also worried as to how they know we were burgled

Marroon · 17/08/2026 15:50

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:48

No I'm more concerned at how he reacted to a young lad who's obviously got a job out of desperation.

Anyway he's back in. He said he'd gone and found him and apologised. Lad said don't worry about it. We both apologised to each other.

Am very relieved.

All in the 3 minute space between your last post? Must have been a heart felt apology and not you’re back on your phone.

SerendipityCat · 17/08/2026 15:51

I can't see how a doorstep conversation about broadband would lead to your husband aggressively saying '' why would I think I was in trouble? ' - it doesn't seem to follow at all. And why would you immediately launch into screaming and swearing at him? I can understand how you might be annoyed, but why so aggressive?

Yoyokitten · 17/08/2026 15:51

Sorry your message isn't very clear.Why would your husband say about being in trouble, and what line did the young lad start with ?

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:52

PashaMinaMio · 17/08/2026 15:49

Oooh, bit harsh OP. Husband was probably a bit assertive but you certainly seemed to make matters worse but I think you’re recognizing that maybe?

Lessons learned.

Is it a catalyst for deeper marital issues?

No issues at all. It was a shock to hear him go on like that and I flipped.

All's well now.

And no it isn't made up whoever said that.

OP posts:
Snuggleup · 17/08/2026 15:54

Ffs grow up the pair of ya.

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:55

Yoyokitten · 17/08/2026 15:51

Sorry your message isn't very clear.Why would your husband say about being in trouble, and what line did the young lad start with ?

The lad said ' don't worry you're not in any trouble '. Dh said I'm sick of this why would I think I was in trouble plus sone other stuff but loud and aggressively. If you'd seen this poor lad's face. He's obviously new. Hopefully he'll get thick skin with time. Or find a better job.

Anyway dh found him and all is calm.

OP posts:
VestibuleWeaver · 17/08/2026 15:55

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:52

No issues at all. It was a shock to hear him go on like that and I flipped.

All's well now.

And no it isn't made up whoever said that.

So your feelings aren’t “marred” any more? What a carry on.

Yoyokitten · 17/08/2026 15:59

Oh I understand now.Thank you for explaining that.

Herenowatbroad · 17/08/2026 16:00

SerendipityCat · 17/08/2026 15:51

I can't see how a doorstep conversation about broadband would lead to your husband aggressively saying '' why would I think I was in trouble? ' - it doesn't seem to follow at all. And why would you immediately launch into screaming and swearing at him? I can understand how you might be annoyed, but why so aggressive?

This

Utterly weird thread from start to finish

Herenowatbroad · 17/08/2026 16:02

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:55

The lad said ' don't worry you're not in any trouble '. Dh said I'm sick of this why would I think I was in trouble plus sone other stuff but loud and aggressively. If you'd seen this poor lad's face. He's obviously new. Hopefully he'll get thick skin with time. Or find a better job.

Anyway dh found him and all is calm.

So this young lad jokingly said “don’t worry you’re not in any trouble”

and your weird knife edge DH thought he was being serious and got defensive?

He is either not the sharpest tool in the box
or
he has serious anger issues and is hyper sensitive about anyone thinking he might be in trouble (is that because he could be?)

Eclipseydo · 17/08/2026 16:02

It's such a horrendous job, door sales.
I always feel so sorry for them.

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