Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So angry with dh

70 replies

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:41

We'd just come in from shopping. I hadn't heard someone knock on the door but then suddenly heard dh start getting aggressive. He was saying loudly ' why would I think I was in trouble? ' and some other stuff. But so nasty.
I thought someone must be having a go. I had no idea what the hell was going on. I went to the door and it was a young lad about 17 trying to sell broadband. He'd obviously been told to start with that line. I've heard it before.
I told dh to get away and I profusely apologised to the lad. He said it's ok.
I started screaming at dh and swearing. I was so angry. I said what if that had been one of our sons or dgss? I said do you know how aggressive you were being. He said i do now. I said who the fuck am I married to?
He's outside sitting in the garden.

We've been together a long time. He's rarely aggressive. Usually calm.

There'd been no tension beforehand.

It's marred how I feel towards him tbh.

Edited for spelling.

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 17/08/2026 16:03

I started screaming at dh and swearing. I was so angry.

This is the most aggressive part of the whole scenario. You should get some help to learn how to control your anger.

HoppityBun · 17/08/2026 16:06

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:55

The lad said ' don't worry you're not in any trouble '. Dh said I'm sick of this why would I think I was in trouble plus sone other stuff but loud and aggressively. If you'd seen this poor lad's face. He's obviously new. Hopefully he'll get thick skin with time. Or find a better job.

Anyway dh found him and all is calm.

Well all isn’t calm.

How would you deal with it differently another time?

What are you both going to do about your underlying anger and frustration .

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 17/08/2026 16:09

I’m just impressed that in seven minutes:
You post on here,
Your DP left the garden,
Found the lad,
Had a long enough conversation with the lad to apologise and for the lad to say that it’s all good,
Returned home,
Apologised to you and you to him,
Heartfelt reconciliation scene,
You post on here again.

Is your DP Quicksilver from the X-Men?

TrishM80 · 17/08/2026 16:09

Some people get irritated by door to door salespeople cold calling their house, so throwing lame jokes about not being in trouble wouldn't help.

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/08/2026 16:09

I imagine you screaming and swearing at him - disgusting behaviour - has marred his view of you. Unless he’s so used to it that he wasn’t surprised. Poor bloke.

ohnowhat · 17/08/2026 16:14

If only you'd waited a couple of mins before posting all would have been resolved.

ColdOut2025 · 17/08/2026 16:19

Dear God, I hope you never need your husband to be aggressive or assertive OP. Or is it ok for him to if you allow it?

LittleMissClutter · 17/08/2026 16:22

"I started screaming at dh and swearing. I was so angry. I said what if that had been one of our sons or dgss? I said do you know how aggressive you were being. He said i do now. I said who the fuck am I married to?"

Blimey, I'd be asking the same question if you started screaming and swearing at me.

Your poor neighbours having to put up with the pair of you 😳

LittleMissClutter · 17/08/2026 16:23

CaringCucumber · 17/08/2026 15:48

No I'm more concerned at how he reacted to a young lad who's obviously got a job out of desperation.

Anyway he's back in. He said he'd gone and found him and apologised. Lad said don't worry about it. We both apologised to each other.

Am very relieved.

All sorted in less than 7 minutes after starting the thread.

Phew!

Asacoot · 17/08/2026 16:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Marycontrarygarden · 17/08/2026 16:30

Screaming and swearing.....erm you sure this thread isn't about your behaviour?

Horses7 · 17/08/2026 16:35

Pot and kettle……

Indenialagain · 17/08/2026 16:37

I’d be pissed off if some young scally invaded my privacy by cold-calling. A lot of them are scams and there is no reason for cold calling in this day and age.

whoopala · 17/08/2026 16:37

I get arsey with door knockers myself. I don't owe a damn thing to any fucker who interrupts my day without invitation trying to sell me shit I don't want, especially the bastards attempting trickery tactics. If he started with "don't worry, you're not in trouble" I'd tell him to fuck off and then some.

My husband has taken slight issue at times over me being rude to such hawkers (note: not screaming and shouting) so I told him to fuck off as well.

I have way too much experience to have any patience for the "I've got to come in and check your meter/router/whatever and sign this for more information" load of saleman cobblers. My fucking gullible husband let one giant 6 foot five member of the lying bastards league walk up our hall to our living room while I was sitting in my nightwear one morning. Then I did scream and shout at my husband after telling the bloke to "get the fuck out of my house right now".

I don't give a single fucking shit whose son/brother/uncle/grandad is.

mumumental · 17/08/2026 16:39

It’s hard to say who was more aggressive.

Venusunbroken · 17/08/2026 16:41

What am I reading, how utterly dysfunctional. He got lound and angry with some poor lad trying to sell broad band so you them got angry and started screaming and shouting.

this is so utterly dysfunctional from the pair of you. Can you not see how neither of you behave rationally or acceptably?

cabus · 17/08/2026 16:41

Dear me! You certainly live your life in the fast lane OP.

Venusunbroken · 17/08/2026 16:41

whoopala · 17/08/2026 16:37

I get arsey with door knockers myself. I don't owe a damn thing to any fucker who interrupts my day without invitation trying to sell me shit I don't want, especially the bastards attempting trickery tactics. If he started with "don't worry, you're not in trouble" I'd tell him to fuck off and then some.

My husband has taken slight issue at times over me being rude to such hawkers (note: not screaming and shouting) so I told him to fuck off as well.

I have way too much experience to have any patience for the "I've got to come in and check your meter/router/whatever and sign this for more information" load of saleman cobblers. My fucking gullible husband let one giant 6 foot five member of the lying bastards league walk up our hall to our living room while I was sitting in my nightwear one morning. Then I did scream and shout at my husband after telling the bloke to "get the fuck out of my house right now".

I don't give a single fucking shit whose son/brother/uncle/grandad is.

Just wow,

Thisismyfinesthour · 17/08/2026 16:42

Yelling at someone on the door step isn't greart, yelling at your spouse isn't great either but why would he get loud with a young person who has got a shit job to start with?
Is the heat getting to people or are we getting angry as a society? I 'm NT but have a condition where my brain doesn't register emotions that well and I'm not given to empathy or understanding of others emotions because I don't read them properly. But I don't yell at randoms on the door step either.

Eastie77Returns · 17/08/2026 16:43

Other people's lives are so, so strange. The screaming and swearing at the drop of a hat. DH sits in the garden and then 10mins later everything is ok.

FeliciaFancybottom · 17/08/2026 16:43

Doof doof...

Asacoot · 17/08/2026 16:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Thisismyfinesthour · 17/08/2026 16:46

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

She's not talking about her life though. But you're right it doesn't make sense😑

ButtercupYellow26 · 17/08/2026 16:47

You and your husband sound as bad as each other.

AtomicBlondeRose · 17/08/2026 16:50

Door knockers saying stupid shit deserve to get stupid shit said to them in return imo.