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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be alarmed after a defendant contacted me?

216 replies

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 17/08/2026 11:20

I was a witness for an incident that took place near my home some months ago. It ended up going to court and although I didn’t attend in person, my statement was provided in court. I was assured it was all anonymous as the person in question is violent.

fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, this individual has written to me from prison (not yet sentenced) offering me money to write to them. The letter is hand written and contains my full name and address. I am absolutely livid that they’ve somehow got my information, I’ve rang the police who sent me a text later on to say it’s a non-reportable crime.. and the witness support agent person emailed to say she’s passed the information on to the case lead, but I’ve heard nothing back in weeks and I just want to know how in the world he got my information and why he’s been allowed to write to me with bribes.

I have two young kids at home, the last thing I want is some POS contacting me.

OP posts:
ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 17/08/2026 16:22

OhBotherSaidPoo · 17/08/2026 12:38

We're you granted a Witness Anonymity Order?
If so, complain, complain, complain. Directly to the judge that granted the order if you have to.
If no order given, there's no anonymity given in the interest of a fair trial.

I agree. I’d write to the Judge.

JaniceBattersby · 17/08/2026 16:36

There’s an awful lot of misinformation on this post.

Defendants in criminal cases have the right to know the names of those giving evidence against them. They don’t usually know their addresses but it’s often fairly easy to work out, particularly if you live in a small community.

The OP doesn’t say whether or not the defendant has been convicted, just that he hasn’t been sentenced. If he’s been convicted then unless there’s a court order in place, he’s legally allowed to contact the witness. (If his letter is intimidatory or threatening then he’s potentially committed a separate offence.)

If he hasn’t been convicted yet and he’s contacted her then it still may not be a crime unless there’s an attempt to pervert the course of justice.

Ultimately, witnesses in criminal cases are not anonymous and nor should they be. Imagine if you’re the defendant in a criminal case and someone rocks up to give evidence against you and you don’t know who they are or what their motivations could be. It would open up the court system to all kinds of abuse from fantasists, nutters, or those seeking revenge.

Horses7 · 17/08/2026 16:40

This is dreadful - how has he got your details?
You did the right thing reporting it and now look what’s happened. I hope you get answers and reassurance.
No wonder people look the other way and don’t get involved.

Jo7890123 · 17/08/2026 16:43

LancashireButterPie · 17/08/2026 12:11

Shows you how little the police care, if they say this is "unreportable".

Of course, if they make a rule that they won't record you reporting this, it means thay can say when asked 'we have no record of of incidents of defendants finding out the addresses of witnesses'.😒

Jo7890123 · 17/08/2026 16:46

JaniceBattersby · 17/08/2026 16:36

There’s an awful lot of misinformation on this post.

Defendants in criminal cases have the right to know the names of those giving evidence against them. They don’t usually know their addresses but it’s often fairly easy to work out, particularly if you live in a small community.

The OP doesn’t say whether or not the defendant has been convicted, just that he hasn’t been sentenced. If he’s been convicted then unless there’s a court order in place, he’s legally allowed to contact the witness. (If his letter is intimidatory or threatening then he’s potentially committed a separate offence.)

If he hasn’t been convicted yet and he’s contacted her then it still may not be a crime unless there’s an attempt to pervert the course of justice.

Ultimately, witnesses in criminal cases are not anonymous and nor should they be. Imagine if you’re the defendant in a criminal case and someone rocks up to give evidence against you and you don’t know who they are or what their motivations could be. It would open up the court system to all kinds of abuse from fantasists, nutters, or those seeking revenge.

Yeah, but imagine you're the defendant in a case and you run a drugs cartel and dispatch anyone who obstructs that, allowing defendants to locate witnesses easily would surely mean no actual violent criminals would ever end up in court!

Thisismyfinesthour · 17/08/2026 16:48

I would go with the MP option too or higher this is totally shit and puts others off from testifying.

EmeraldRoulette · 17/08/2026 16:50

@ShapeofanLonmyforehead I’m so sorry, that’s awful

deleted the rest because I missed a crucial detail! You were told it would be anonymous - that should be the end of it.

malloryknox123 · 17/08/2026 16:51

Write to your MP and make them take notice this is not okay.

AImportantMermaid · 17/08/2026 16:57

So you’re experiencing verbal abuse, the silent treatment (emotional abuse), and physical abuse and it’s escalating? I’m guessing the mask is slipping. They’re only able to hold it in for so long. Get out while you’re still 30.

Sasha07 · 17/08/2026 17:01

This is exactly what's stopping me 'anonymously' reporting my awful partying-until-3am-half-the-week neighbours. We can't even trust those who are meant to protect us. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. How scary and frustrating. The whole establishment is a sham.

Sorry, I have no advice but I'm angry on your behalf, how the hell do they get away with playing dangerous games with innocent people?!

CandidHedgehog · 17/08/2026 17:02

EmeraldRoulette · 17/08/2026 16:50

@ShapeofanLonmyforehead I’m so sorry, that’s awful

deleted the rest because I missed a crucial detail! You were told it would be anonymous - that should be the end of it.

Edited

It’s probably worth making a complaint about being told that she would be anonymous. Anonymity orders are incredibly rare, require an application to a Judge and are usually refused because, as PPs say, people have a right to know who is accusing them.

I don’t know who told the OP her statement would be anonymous but they shouldn’t have because until the CPS decide to apply (rare) and the Judge makes the decision to grant the order (even rarer) there is no way of knowing.

wellington77 · 17/08/2026 17:07

I would put in a complaint- either to the same police force or the IOPC - this is the website -https://www.policeconduct.gov.uk/complaints/submit-a-complaint. I complained about a trivial matter- nothing as serious as yours and they got in contact by phone within 12 hours which I thought was impressive.

Submit a complaint | Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC)

https://www.policeconduct.gov.uk/complaints/submit-a-complaint

JaniceBattersby · 17/08/2026 17:35

Jo7890123 · 17/08/2026 16:46

Yeah, but imagine you're the defendant in a case and you run a drugs cartel and dispatch anyone who obstructs that, allowing defendants to locate witnesses easily would surely mean no actual violent criminals would ever end up in court!

But they do end up in court, all the time, and people give live evidence against them from the witness box in front of a jury, the press and the public. They’re incredibly brave and their courage helps to keep the public safe.

Switchnow · 17/08/2026 17:44

sheisforrealatiger · 17/08/2026 15:04

And imagine if that database got hacked!

As it inevitably would…

sheisforrealatiger · 17/08/2026 18:05

Switchnow · 17/08/2026 17:44

As it inevitably would…

Exactly!

ResilientWallflower · 17/08/2026 18:23

If you were offered anonymity then obviously this is very bad, but I must say I'm surprised that most people assume witnesses are entitled to automatic anonymity. In this day and age there are then many ways to find contact details for a witness that has been named. (There are lots of respects in which judicial rules haven't really kept pace with the realities of modern information and communication imo but that's another thread.)

But if the case has been concluded and only sentencing is awaited, I'm not sure I understand why the defendant is offering money now. Has the letter been very delayed?

NovaF · 17/08/2026 20:16

Can you complain to the prison, or return to sender and mark as address gone away so then at least they will prevent him from contacting you to begin with and he may think you have gone away.

I was a witness in a minor crime last year the police and witness protection were useless. Maybe get a free 30 min call with a lawyer specialising in criminal law and see what they advise in terms of who to contact? Do not rely on the police or witness protection getting back to you, escalate this

LHP118 · 17/08/2026 20:51

Follow-up. Record every communication (dates/times/numbers) from start of this debacle.
Keep all evidence. Do not give it to anyone without evidence being recorded. Ideally with some legal advice.

Calm up everyone who hasn't got back to you, asking status and asking if you need to escalate.

Report to ICO as a breach

See: Metropolitan Police Service issued with enforcement notice and reprimand following data protection failures | ICO https://share.google/JYbiPwfGRJpAGBvPG

Consider calling the prison to report a breach, if your legal support agrees.

noodlebugz · 17/08/2026 21:14

Could you go down the ICO / GDPR route here? Surely someone has royally cocked up somewhere ?
Surely the police must have something on how your data as a witness is handled?
Also I agree - horrifying / not ok.

GottaBeStrong · 18/08/2026 09:36

JaniceBattersby · 17/08/2026 16:36

There’s an awful lot of misinformation on this post.

Defendants in criminal cases have the right to know the names of those giving evidence against them. They don’t usually know their addresses but it’s often fairly easy to work out, particularly if you live in a small community.

The OP doesn’t say whether or not the defendant has been convicted, just that he hasn’t been sentenced. If he’s been convicted then unless there’s a court order in place, he’s legally allowed to contact the witness. (If his letter is intimidatory or threatening then he’s potentially committed a separate offence.)

If he hasn’t been convicted yet and he’s contacted her then it still may not be a crime unless there’s an attempt to pervert the course of justice.

Ultimately, witnesses in criminal cases are not anonymous and nor should they be. Imagine if you’re the defendant in a criminal case and someone rocks up to give evidence against you and you don’t know who they are or what their motivations could be. It would open up the court system to all kinds of abuse from fantasists, nutters, or those seeking revenge.

OP - this is the post you need to read.

It's unclear if the trial has happened and concluded, and who told you that you'd be an anonymous witness.

triile · 18/08/2026 11:47

JaniceBattersby · 17/08/2026 17:35

But they do end up in court, all the time, and people give live evidence against them from the witness box in front of a jury, the press and the public. They’re incredibly brave and their courage helps to keep the public safe.

Yep I’ve just been to court as a victim of a sexual assault. My name was read out and I was asked to confirm it, I was behind a screen though as I didn’t want to see him

OVienna · 18/08/2026 11:56

JaniceBattersby · 17/08/2026 16:36

There’s an awful lot of misinformation on this post.

Defendants in criminal cases have the right to know the names of those giving evidence against them. They don’t usually know their addresses but it’s often fairly easy to work out, particularly if you live in a small community.

The OP doesn’t say whether or not the defendant has been convicted, just that he hasn’t been sentenced. If he’s been convicted then unless there’s a court order in place, he’s legally allowed to contact the witness. (If his letter is intimidatory or threatening then he’s potentially committed a separate offence.)

If he hasn’t been convicted yet and he’s contacted her then it still may not be a crime unless there’s an attempt to pervert the course of justice.

Ultimately, witnesses in criminal cases are not anonymous and nor should they be. Imagine if you’re the defendant in a criminal case and someone rocks up to give evidence against you and you don’t know who they are or what their motivations could be. It would open up the court system to all kinds of abuse from fantasists, nutters, or those seeking revenge.

Agreed this is the post to read.

However, it sounds like the OP wasn't given the correct info from the get-go. Whoever she spoke to initially should have said this to her, not describing it as a 'non-reportable crime' which seems to be misleading.

Because the OP has been offered money by the defendant, and hasn't been sentenced yet, it would seem to increase the likelihood that they're attempting to pull a fast one, so I would contact the clerk to the judge as someone said upthread.

It is disgraceful that the OP wasn't made aware that she couldn't remain anonymous and it is still worth contacting her MP and informing them of this sorry tale, in my view.

Starsnrainbows · 18/08/2026 11:58

Witness intimidation is a serious offence and carries a prison sentence

NoisyUmberBalonz · 18/08/2026 12:25

If that defense lawyer did this they should be reported and t if proven they will be stuck off, of the CPS or Police did it then you will be entitled to significant compensation. It is a no brainer to report it to everyone you can.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 18/08/2026 13:52

Jo7890123 · 17/08/2026 16:43

Of course, if they make a rule that they won't record you reporting this, it means thay can say when asked 'we have no record of of incidents of defendants finding out the addresses of witnesses'.😒

Copy in the other suggested list of people that the OP has been advise to report this to, including the MP. Then a paper trail exists.