Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be alarmed after a defendant contacted me?

216 replies

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 17/08/2026 11:20

I was a witness for an incident that took place near my home some months ago. It ended up going to court and although I didn’t attend in person, my statement was provided in court. I was assured it was all anonymous as the person in question is violent.

fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, this individual has written to me from prison (not yet sentenced) offering me money to write to them. The letter is hand written and contains my full name and address. I am absolutely livid that they’ve somehow got my information, I’ve rang the police who sent me a text later on to say it’s a non-reportable crime.. and the witness support agent person emailed to say she’s passed the information on to the case lead, but I’ve heard nothing back in weeks and I just want to know how in the world he got my information and why he’s been allowed to write to me with bribes.

I have two young kids at home, the last thing I want is some POS contacting me.

OP posts:
BerryTwister · 17/08/2026 13:05

chocoluv · 17/08/2026 13:03

FFS!!! This is why people don’t come forward!!!

Has he been sentenced or is he on remand?

I’m guessing sentenced and so his excuse would be ‘to apologise’ rather than intimidate.

I can’t see how it’s not a crime.

Contact the prison and tell them that you do not want any communication from him and to ask the POM to contact you to find out how he got your details.

@chocoluv from the OP - “fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, this individual has written to me from prison (not yet sentenced) offering me money to write to them.”

parall · 17/08/2026 13:06

But if you refuse to be a witness I think you can be arrested and charged yourself. Is that true anyone know?

LoveItaly · 17/08/2026 13:07

queenrollo · 17/08/2026 12:01

The information will have been included in the case materials which the client has access to.
Whoever prepared the documents might have included the witness details instead of redacting them.

so it’s incompetence rather than criminal

Edited

Awful, it hardly encourages people to come forward when they’ve witnessed a crime, does it. I would certainly think twice now, much as it pains me to say.

parall · 17/08/2026 13:11

parall · 17/08/2026 13:06

But if you refuse to be a witness I think you can be arrested and charged yourself. Is that true anyone know?

sorry to quote myself, I meant if you refuse to appear in court as a witness having been subpoenaed or provide a statement etc.

I'd be terrified to be a witness to a crime TBH. I'd take my chances and say nothing. Not worth it really. There are some circumstances where I couldn't get away with that though I suppose, and that's a real concern.

chocoluv · 17/08/2026 13:13

UnitaBath · 17/08/2026 12:54

I’m sorry if this is a naive question but aren’t all prison letters vetted before they are sent out? Shouldn’t this have been stopped at that point, especially if they were offering you money?

Edited

No there is simply not enough man power to read through every single letter.

If someone did read that letter, it likely wouldn’t have rang alarm bells either because there’s no mention of drugs, escape, further crimes etc.

Offering money would be a red flag but then it depends how they’ve worded it.
They could be writing to their loved one for all the person reading it knows.

Usually these things are only flagged up when someone reports it.

I have heard of many DV perpetrators having contact with their victims through letters and/or phone and it’s not flagged up until someone reports it or they’re overheard as it’s just not possible to listen to every single phone call and read every single letter all day every day (although it should be).

SendforJulietOne · 17/08/2026 13:13

Not sure if anyone has said this yet but you can report this directly to the prison- the Security team will take it very seriously and his post will be screened.

Two2TooAlsoToToward · 17/08/2026 13:14

I would absolutely be stamping my feet about the illegal GDPR breach. Escalate, escalate, escalate. As high as you can get.

chocoluv · 17/08/2026 13:14

BerryTwister · 17/08/2026 13:05

@chocoluv from the OP - “fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, this individual has written to me from prison (not yet sentenced) offering me money to write to them.”

Thank you I don’t know how I missed that!

AGlessandahalf · 17/08/2026 13:16

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 17/08/2026 12:45

No it’s a prison issue letter, with the prison header, wing number ect on it.

Ensure that when you recontact the police you tell them that you want to ensure that he is not allowed to write or contact you in anyway.
is your phone number anywhere on the internet for example?
this must be very frightening for you.

This is a breach of GDPR and should be reported to the ICO if you have specifically requested that your details are not released to the defendant

Friendlygingercat · 17/08/2026 13:16

This kind of thing usually happens through poor administration. A witness list was improperly enclosed in a bundle sent to the defence team or some clerical slip up of that kind. OPs anonymity has failed. The system is imperfect. She is now dealing with a defendant who has her personal details and is attempting to pervert the course of justice. He may have outside associates and her fear is justified. The police should treat this as witness intimidation and launch a multi agency safeguarding and criminal investigation process.

Manxexile · 17/08/2026 13:19

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 17/08/2026 11:20

I was a witness for an incident that took place near my home some months ago. It ended up going to court and although I didn’t attend in person, my statement was provided in court. I was assured it was all anonymous as the person in question is violent.

fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, this individual has written to me from prison (not yet sentenced) offering me money to write to them. The letter is hand written and contains my full name and address. I am absolutely livid that they’ve somehow got my information, I’ve rang the police who sent me a text later on to say it’s a non-reportable crime.. and the witness support agent person emailed to say she’s passed the information on to the case lead, but I’ve heard nothing back in weeks and I just want to know how in the world he got my information and why he’s been allowed to write to me with bribes.

I have two young kids at home, the last thing I want is some POS contacting me.

"... I’ve rang the police who sent me a text later on to say it’s a non-reportable crime..."

Eh?

I'm not a lawyer but I'd have thought that was some sort of witness interference which could amount to the crimes of witness intimidation and/or perverting the course of justice.

Go back to the police and report again.

Also complain about the response you've had that it;s non-reportable. It's not good enough. Somebody is in serious need of re-training

SendforJulietOne · 17/08/2026 13:19

UnitaBath · 17/08/2026 12:54

I’m sorry if this is a naive question but aren’t all prison letters vetted before they are sent out? Shouldn’t this have been stopped at that point, especially if they were offering you money?

Edited

Not all of them, no. Just people that are being monitored (which he will be if OP contacts the prison)

Also any legal letters are never monitored which causes all kinds of problems.

RockyFraggles · 17/08/2026 13:21

The statement with your name on will have been given to the defence solicitors as part of the evidence bundle but your address will (should) not be on that copy. Of course the solicitor tells the defendant the name of the witnesses who have provided statements that are being used as evidence.

It may be the defendant has found your address online, such as through electoral register.

As I understand the court case is over? If so it is witness intimidation if he has harmed or threatened to harm you which doesn't seem to be the case.

That being said I completely get why you are upset and I would be too. Definitely contact the witness unit and I would also contact the prison and say you were a witness in the case and do not want to receive communications from him.

Edited as I've realised the op said he hasn't been sentenced yet.

HagCymraeg · 17/08/2026 13:21

SendforJulietOne · 17/08/2026 13:13

Not sure if anyone has said this yet but you can report this directly to the prison- the Security team will take it very seriously and his post will be screened.

I would reiterate this, speak to the prison as well.
When my ExH was trying to contact my DD19 (witness), my other DD28 who was down as his NoK for prison, called the prison and spoke to his named guard. It didn't happen again.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 17/08/2026 13:21

hallomynameisinigomontoya · 17/08/2026 11:24

Is it possible they've written to everyone on your street who could have witnessed the crime? Not knowing what happened or what the letter said (which obviously you wouldn't want to share!) it's hard to tell if they know you were the witness or if they just guess it's someone on x street.

This.

There can a be a multitude of fairly mundane explanations for this happening beyond someone deliberately disclosing your name and address to an accused.

You need to be a little bit circumspect in how you go about following this up, and don't start throwing around accusations left and right.

Beachlover1993 · 17/08/2026 13:32

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 17/08/2026 11:20

I was a witness for an incident that took place near my home some months ago. It ended up going to court and although I didn’t attend in person, my statement was provided in court. I was assured it was all anonymous as the person in question is violent.

fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, this individual has written to me from prison (not yet sentenced) offering me money to write to them. The letter is hand written and contains my full name and address. I am absolutely livid that they’ve somehow got my information, I’ve rang the police who sent me a text later on to say it’s a non-reportable crime.. and the witness support agent person emailed to say she’s passed the information on to the case lead, but I’ve heard nothing back in weeks and I just want to know how in the world he got my information and why he’s been allowed to write to me with bribes.

I have two young kids at home, the last thing I want is some POS contacting me.

May need discussing with police

Damnthemansavetheempir · 17/08/2026 13:33

ShapeofanLonmyforehead · 17/08/2026 12:45

No it’s a prison issue letter, with the prison header, wing number ect on it.

Please also report this to the prison as they have a duty of care and this shouldn't have been sent out, all mail is meant to be monitored.

NowSober · 17/08/2026 13:33

How much money is he offering? If the case hasn't concluded yet then this is witness tampering.

MyNameIsErinQuin · 17/08/2026 13:39

DH works in this area. He says contact the officer dealing with this directly or via 111. If no response, 999. Another crime has been committed by contacting you.

chocoluv · 17/08/2026 13:48

MyNameIsErinQuin · 17/08/2026 13:39

DH works in this area. He says contact the officer dealing with this directly or via 111. If no response, 999. Another crime has been committed by contacting you.

I’m not sure it requires the 999 emergency number.

It’s not like he’s going anywhere for now.

I would definitely be reporting it though.

LongDistanceClara44 · 17/08/2026 13:52

I've heard of this happening enough times to put me off ever being a witness, which is terrible but I have no faith in the system at all.

MyNameIsErinQuin · 17/08/2026 14:03

chocoluv · 17/08/2026 13:48

I’m not sure it requires the 999 emergency number.

It’s not like he’s going anywhere for now.

I would definitely be reporting it though.

DH respectfully disagrees. Another crime has been committed and needs dealing with. This is a serious GDPR breach and potential safeguarding issue

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 17/08/2026 14:12

The prison can be contacted directly, you can let them know that you are a witness and he wrote to you, it will be taken seriously as his behaviour in prison will be monitored and I can guarantee this will go on his notes inside. If any of the lads did this in the prison I worked in they would get in deep shit. Contacting and witness manipulation is a crime. They are trying to commit a crime whist in prison, this is very serious and the prison staff will now monitor his communication and post carefully !

Switchnow · 17/08/2026 14:12

Wow, this is quite shocking. As well as what you’ve done already you should contact the prison and the public protection team at HMPPS.

Contact the service by email:
[email protected]
Or telephone:
tel:0300 060 6699 0300 060 6699
Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm

Chocolateistheanswer2026 · 17/08/2026 14:13

I would write to the judge before the man is sentenced. They will be very unimpressed and will probably ask the defendant, defence team and CPS for an explanation which might get you an answer quicker. Having googled it, they may be able to treat it as witness intimidation as proceedings are not concluded until he has been sentenced. It's unlikely he'd be prosecuted for witness intimidation, as his letter wasn't threatening, but it may affect sentencing and put the wind up the defendant. You should also contact the officer who brought the case as they would probably want to know about it.