I've got myself into a sticky situation

[Helbel1977]

I've got myself into a sticky situation, i know im in the wrong but I don't know how to fix it.

Yesterday morning about 10.30am I was nipping out to the shops, when I pulled out my drive I bumped into a car parked opposite, i was moving at a slow speed and didn't notice any damage to the car I went into.

When I returned the car was gone, fine I thought nothing more about it.
I didn't mention it to my husband.

Later on a young man came to my door my husband answered it, he told him that his girlfriend was staying over last night and her car was parked outside, he said that there was damage to her car and wanted to know if we had seen anything, obviously he told him no as he hadn't know anything about it. He did tell my husband that it must happened between late the night before and when she left at 9am, They must have got the times wrong as I hit the car about 10.30. I just played dumb and agreed that it was terrible.

I know I should own up, but I don't know how to go about it,

Are you sure you actually hit the girlfriend's car and not someone else's that was parked there? That's a big time discrepancy.

You knock on his door and tell him.

It probably wasn’t her car and was someone else’s. If you really want to double check knock on and say dh had mentioned it and you just want to check was it the X colour car parked in X spot as you saw the car at 10.30 and you wanted to check if that was the right car. If he says no say fair enough not the one you was think of. If he says yes that’s it she must have left later than realised. Tell him it was you.

It’s hard to understand why you didn’t just say to your husband ‘actually I did hit a car when I was coming back from the shops’ when he told you the chap had been round. I can understand not telling him in the first place but lying to your own husband about it seems an unusual decision.

I think it’s unlikely that you hit a different car and that someone else had hit her car previously.

I would go round and tell him what happened. That you did hit a car, presumably you know what the car was because you looked at it. And that you didn’t see any damage so you didn’t tell your husband so he didn’t know when the man called round. Then swap insurance details and call your insurance company.

How hard did you hit it?

On what planet did you think "i was moving at a slow speed and didn't notice any damage to the car I went into." was OK?

If you hit someone's car you identity who the car belongs to and tell them. FFS.

Well, if he talks to other neighbours and they have a camera that picked it up, you’ll know soon enough if it was you.

I would say nothing now because the time has passed and you will look silly for saying no amd then admitting it. Someone made a big dent in my car and drove off outside my workplace. I had to pay a few hundred to get it fixed. Another time some kids decided to draw on the doors with stones and ruined the paintwork. Ime you can't expect to own a car and for it not to get damaged.

Someone will have you on their ring doorbell so best to own up now !

He did tell my husband that it must happened between late the night before and when she left at 9am, They must have got the times wrong as I hit the car about 10.30.

Is it definitely the same car? Did he describe the damage - could it have been caused by your bump based on where it was on her car; was it something you definitely couldn't have overlooked like a smashed light, or are we talking a small scrape or scratches?

I was the girlfriend in this situation some years ago, it was obvious from the mark on my car who the culprit was, I did exactly as your neighbour did, giving them (you) the opportunity to come clean, which they chose not to. I felt stuck. They came around a few days later and admitted it was them. Just go and say it was you. Make it right.

Own up. They know.

👏

Be honest

I once hit a parked car - I was going very slowly and had young kids in the back of the car and in the heat of the moment I just continued driving. But I knew it was wrong so later that day I found out whose car it was (it was local so easy to discover) and owned up. You will feel better after OP.

No-one expects their car never to get damaged.

You would expect someone not to just drive off and keep quiet if you did damage a car, though.

Please do as pp said and find out if it was their car.

Last week I came back to find the side of my car scraped because the person parked next to it had dented it. I have their reg on dashcam and am trying to get camera footage from opposite. I'm dealing with a lot so it's not a priority but I can find out who did it.

I agree with others that they know it was you or have a strong suspicion it was. I think it’s v odd that they would go door to door asking for info if there was no damage or v little damage. Chances are they’ve given you the opportunity to own up and yet you haven’t. Go and put it right today before this snowballs and ends up with police

You were selfish to just assume it was OK and keep on driving, you were dishonest to not tell your husband, and I 100% think the young guy knows it's you - that's why he knocked on your door. Own up. My partner works in the car repair business, and I'm sorry but people like you are really irritating.

@Poppycorn123 so it’s better to make someone pay money for your carelessness than risk looking silly? How far would you take it? A few hundred? Thousand? A written off car?

This. Sometimes people want to get the damage fixed and not go through insurance. The danger is they bill you for something that wasn't you. However presumably you know pretty much where on the car the damage might be and will be able to guage that. .

But she hasn’t said no to the neighbour I don’t think. It was her husband who answered the door.

Why would anyone care that they looked silly? This is her own neighbourhood, I’d rather look silly than take the risk that someone had seen me and then everyone will know she is a big old liar.

@Helbel1977 are you sure it was you?

If there was no damage (I assume you got out and inspected) and the timing was wrong then perhaps it was not her car you hit?

If it was before 9am her car got hit then sounds like she had already left, someone else had parked there and then you hit the other car.

They won't have got the timing wrong as they 9am will be based on when she came out and found the car.

I agree that someone - maybe even him or the girlfriend - saw you drive into the car, get out and look at what you’d done, look around to see if anyone was watching and then just slink off.

I think you already know this was appalling behaviour but this whole infantilising “hee hee I’m just a girl and I can’t drive hee hee” attitude is so regressive. Please own up to them. Yes, you’ll be embarrassed, but honestly I think you deserve to be.

Exactly. Someone bumped our car in a supermarket car park. No note left.
Nothing. Just went off. Charming. Thanks.

Do the right thing. A good motto in life.

But the OP will likely be owning up to the wrong person.

The damage to this car happened over night and before 9am. The OP didn't go out till 10.30am.

The OP hit someone's car but it is highly unlikely to be this one. Plus if they didn't see any damage and this one had obvious damage then again its not this car the OP hit.

@Helbel1977 speak to the neighbour. Ask what the damage was like and say that when you left at 10.30am you accidentally touched the car parked opposite but you checked and there was no damage at all.