I've got myself into a sticky situation

[Helbel1977]

I've got myself into a sticky situation, i know im in the wrong but I don't know how to fix it.

Yesterday morning about 10.30am I was nipping out to the shops, when I pulled out my drive I bumped into a car parked opposite, i was moving at a slow speed and didn't notice any damage to the car I went into.

When I returned the car was gone, fine I thought nothing more about it.
I didn't mention it to my husband.

Later on a young man came to my door my husband answered it, he told him that his girlfriend was staying over last night and her car was parked outside, he said that there was damage to her car and wanted to know if we had seen anything, obviously he told him no as he hadn't know anything about it. He did tell my husband that it must happened between late the night before and when she left at 9am, They must have got the times wrong as I hit the car about 10.30. I just played dumb and agreed that it was terrible.

I know I should own up, but I don't know how to go about it,

Own up - it’s the right thing to do.

Because they obviously didn't read it that well! 🙄

If its just the corner of your bumper bumped into a panel and pushed it in, some dents guys are excellent at pulling them out for less than a respray. It may be less than £100 as they used to be about £50-60. Less than the hassle of involving your insurers!

Op, you need to go ask about the timeline and say you went out when you did.
You probably caused the damage, with your incompetence, but these things happen..

Do the right thing if the timelines add up.

She is lying to her husband - how is that right?

There’s a reason the Highway Code recommends reversing into your driveway, not out. How did you not know you were heading towards another car?!

Some twat (delivery driver) reversed into one of my cars and shredded the bumper with their tow bar and dented the wing. No doorbell footage or witnesses and it cost me over £800 in repairs.

I hope karma finds you quickly.

Checked! She didn’t even get out of her car!

Re: a story to save face...

A few months back I thought I had clipped another car at my son's school but had actually driven over a wobbly drain cover. It made a metallic crash noise and shook the car slightly.

If there is anything similar nearby, OP you can go round and say you thought you had driven over the drain etc at the time but now having thought about it wondering if you might have hit the car without realising.

The fact the times don't add up gives this story more credibility.

Why would it be an error on his part if he knows what time his gf leaves for work ? If he’s correct then gf would likely have been at work by the time OP left.

I hope karma finds you quickly.

Assuming OP is actually the one who hit gf’s car. And not everyone is able to reverse into the driveway. I live on a busy main road. It would be impossible.

It is embarrassing, but honestly the sooner you tell him, the sooner you will start to feel better about this.

Your behaviour is quite natural; we all want to run from our responsibilities at times, but facing up to them is the only way to get over it.

Please don't delude yourself that you didn't do this. You must admit it because you are helping everyone if you do, and yourself most of all in the long run.

Incompetence ? Have you never had an accident of any kind ?

Given that the times don’t match - by an hour and a half, why is OP deluding herself ?

Just tell the neighbour, you did reverse into a car at 10.30, you didn't think there was any damage so you didn't tell your husband. You're now concerned it may have been you so you want to check the timings - did the girlfriend definitely leave before 9am or could they have made a mistake.

It'll set your mind at rest. Maybe it wasn't you at all, if the boyfriend was right about the time then it can't have been. It'll avoid any embarrassing situations where they've got video evidence and you have to admit it later . It'll stop you from feeling guilty.

If you have caused damage to someone else's car then you really need to take responsibility, but maybe it was just a weird coincidence. You won't know unless you ask the neighbour.

Did she carry out "a competent manoeuvre"?
Be truthful now! 🤔

You should have left your note and number in the first place. Do the right thing and walk tall in life and with a clear conscience. If you tell her I guarantee they'll be okay with it, if not at first then in the end.

Yup!

No clue. Wasn’t there. And neither was anyone else on the thread.

It's possible that she is not, but she certainly would benefit from talking to the neighbour, as she is naturally worried.

To not own up is a really mean thing to do. Somebody recently hit my car while it was parked outside a restaurant and were shitty enough to drive off without reporting it. It cost £4.5k to repair and I had to stump up £550 of that in respect of my compulsory and voluntary excess. That was a very expensive dinner!

I wouldn’t be telling him anything. I’d be asking for the details of the car and where it was parked to make sure both matched up, and checking to see if he was positive about the time line. IF gf left at 9am and OP didn’t go out until 10.30am then it couldn’t possibly have been her. She hit a car and really didn’t handle that well - at the very least she should have left a note on the windscreen with her details in case of any damage. But that doesn’t mean she should shoulder responsibility for something she didn’t do.

Sure, that sounds sensible. It is weird that the times don't match up, coincidences happen.

Totally agree that she should have left a note on the windscreen, that's what I've done in similar circumstances. You are then relying on the other person not to lie about any pre-existing damage. But "the other person might lie" isn't an excuse not to do the right thing.

You sound morally corrupt

Well, it would be pretty bloody unlucky for the GF's car to have potentially been hit twice within two hours. Surely it makes more sense that she or her BF got the time wrong?

By definition it was not a 'competent manoeuvre ', because she hit a car, we don't need to see more detail to be able to tell thats not how we're intended to drive :-D. The word 'Incompetence' was a bit harsh, but fair, and yes, many of us have had a scrape at some point hitting something, but that doesn't mean we didn't drive poorly at that moment.

I agree. If you know you hit a car and that person claims their car was damaged the next day, it doesn't take a genius to work out that it was probably you who caused it. Even if not, I would want to explain my side of things. It's going to look a whole lot worse if someone provides video footage further down the line, and you've not said a word.