I've got myself into a sticky situation

[Helbel1977]

I've got myself into a sticky situation, i know im in the wrong but I don't know how to fix it.

Yesterday morning about 10.30am I was nipping out to the shops, when I pulled out my drive I bumped into a car parked opposite, i was moving at a slow speed and didn't notice any damage to the car I went into.

When I returned the car was gone, fine I thought nothing more about it.
I didn't mention it to my husband.

Later on a young man came to my door my husband answered it, he told him that his girlfriend was staying over last night and her car was parked outside, he said that there was damage to her car and wanted to know if we had seen anything, obviously he told him no as he hadn't know anything about it. He did tell my husband that it must happened between late the night before and when she left at 9am, They must have got the times wrong as I hit the car about 10.30. I just played dumb and agreed that it was terrible.

I know I should own up, but I don't know how to go about it,

I know I should own up, but I don't know how to go about it,

What a load of rubbish.

"Hi, sorry it was me who hit the car. I didn't know it was damaged as I didn't get out and check. Here's my insurance details".

And if you want to, point out that your husband didn't know about it.

so you bumped into the car at 10.30am but the neighbour said she left at around 9am. Thats a big time gap and probably likely it was a different car. However, this is obviously bothering you because you have come on here. Just own up to your husband, he loves you. It will be ok. Go and speak to your neighbour today as it was only yesterday it happened. You can say your husband only just told you about his call. If it was a different car and they havent come back its likely there is no damage. If it was his girlfriends car, then thats what insurance is for. Please dont worry yourself anymore. It is a totally fixable matter.

In this day and age with ring doorbell, dash cam, mobiles etc very little can be kept under wraps. You should have said something straight away, you’ll like a complete numpty if someone comes forward having seen something.

Yes you do OP. You tell your husband the truth - I suspect that this si the part that bothers you, understandably as you'll have to admit to lying to him. The neighbour part is easier - assuming you were not at the door when he knocked - you can say that your husband had just told you what happened...you didn't know whose car it was etc. But better to confess than get outed, especially in these days of ring doorbells, CCTV, social media/neighbourhood FB groups.

Im going to have to come clean, i just feel so stupid that I've let it go this far. I barely slept last night.

There's 1.5 hours difference in the times.

For all anyone knows the car could have been hit within that 1.5 hours somewhere else during that time.

It sounds like you hit a different car and someone else hit hers.

One morning in December a few years ago I parked outside the Post Office to post some packages, it was early around 7am. When I got back in the car, for some reason I had forgotten to put the car in reverse and drove forward into a white van. I couldn't see any damage but I waited a few minutes to see if the owner returned and when they didn't I wrote a note with my name and number. It turned out there was damage, it's not always immediately apparent. The van was being leased by Royal Mail to help with Christmas deliveries so they had no reason to say it was damaged if it wasn't. But I did the right thing, my conscience wouldn't have let me do otherwise.

Was she parked blocking your drive?

Surely the best thing to do is to find out exactly where the GF car was parked?

I think OP is very aware of what she should have done, she is asking for advice on what she should do now, admitting she’s got herself in bind.

In my opinion, all you have to do is be straightforward about everything. Explain the situation to your husband first, then talk to your neighbor and apologize. This might not be the easiest thing in the world for you to do, but definitely better than making things even more difficult.

Weird this happened to my friend yesterday, only the reverse - someone clearly hit them while they were parked outside. Apparently they think neighbours may have some ring footage though so whenever did it hopefully will be caught!

Always do the right thing in life your conscience will be getting the better of you.

@Helbel1977 how would you feel if the roles were reversed and it happened to you? Be the person who does the right thing.

Really ? That is quite an antisocial post...

I am genuinely amazed by the number of posters - i.e just about every poster - telling the OP to own up. If only this level of honesty existed outside of Mumsnet. I've had various cars scratched and dented over the years but no notes left ever! I'm sorry but if I were you OP I would keep quiet and, if they come at you with Ring doorbell evidence or the like, at that point you look aghast, say your husband never mentioned the neighbour calling round and that you looked at the car at the time and saw no damage. Having never had anyone do the right thing by me when they've damaged my car, I wouldn't be busting a gut to own up and face either a big repair bill or a big insurance hike!

she said she never even got of her car to check, she just eyeballed it from inside her own car.

Exactly. Could've been anyone. The timeline doesn't match and no damage to the ops car? There'd be paint or a scuff on the bumper.
Just forget it op.

I think that right outside the house you live in is not the best place to try and get away with hitting a car. You might have had cars dented over the years when stationary, something that’s never happened to me in thirty years of driving but maybe over the years there were not cameras absolutely everywhere.

There was a minor teen hoo-haa about a month and the amount of camera footage that people had mind boggling.

Amazed at the number of posters telling OP to own up when there is a significant time difference and no clarification as to where the gf’s car was actually parked - was it even in the same place as the one OP did hit ? If it turns out later that it was gf’s car, which I think is unlikely, then seeing as OP never left her car to inspect any damage and there is no damage to her own car, she could legitimately claim that she didn’t realise she had hit anything.

It will be on camera. Everything is and then it looks 10 times worse for not owning up. Someone probably has cameras nobody knows about that take in angles on the entire street. So just because neighbour next door doesn't save ring doorbell footage, doesn't mean nobody else will have something. The fact that she knows she hit the car, but didn't get out to inspect the damage isn't great.

But there’s no evidence at present that the gf was parked in the same place as the car OP hit, and there’s a significant time difference. If gf left for work at 9am then she would have been at work by the time OP left at 10.30.

In the event of any camera evidence, the fact that she didn’t get out of the car to inspect the damage could also indicate that she didn’t realise she had hit the car in the first place - there is no damage to her own car. And any camera evidence offered up would presumably be time stamped. The bf said girlfriend left for work at 9am and OP is sure she left at 10.30. I’d say the likelihood is that it was coincidence and that OP would be owning up to something she didn’t do.

You will have to go and own up. You could say sorry, you didn't put two and two together, but now you realise you are talking about the same car. If he says he doesn't believe you didn't know, just say something polite and vague like 'I know it sounds daft, but there we are. Here are my insurance details.' Just be apologetic but brisk. I'm sure they just want it sorted.

I don't know how to go about it

Yes, you do.