To think this was weird (dress code)

[Whatsyourflavour12]

The boss at my new workplace organised a 'casual clothes Wednesday'. It was very hot, almost 30 degrees and i didn't fancy jeans, but also the way I dress is probably already what most people would consider more 'formal' anyway.
I went in my outfit and noticed the boss looking. She said "Oh you've definitely forgotten haven't you?"
I tried to say, "No this is just how I'd dress anyway."
She said "No, I saw you earlier and I thought, "she's definitely not remembered.".
I just laughed it off, no point arguing with stupid. I didn't turn up in a suit or ballgown or anything.
Bit weird how she was looking at my outfit and judging from wherever she was, surely she can realise that not everyone wants to wear jeans or a tracksuit and should it matter?

It’s weird that she mentioned it. Surely the casual clothes is optional?

Yes that's a good point I didn't actually consider. My Dad for example doesn't wear jeans ever, would he be pulled up on it as well? I just thought she'd have a bit more common sense.

Nah she was just expecting at least one person to forget. I’m a secondary teacher and have done the same to student in uniform.
Also they had chosen to wear uniform that day!!
Just smiles and agree.

what were you wearing.

Depends what you were wearing?
also it doesn’t seem like she was “judging” - she was more likely trying to have a light hearted conversation. She obviously thought you’d forgot but doesn’t sound like she was annoyed or judgey about it!

I’d be surprised if anyone chose to wear jeans or a tracksuit in 30 degree heat. Other casual clothes exist.

It would’ve absolutely been optional. She’s probably more surprised if someone hasn’t taken up the option to dress casually in this heat. Sounds like she thought OP had simply forgotten rather than opting out.
she made a casual light hearted remark assuming OP had forgotten. She wasn’t judging or pulling her up on it

What were you wearing?

I’d be surprised if others came in jeans or a tracksuit in 30 degrees, more likely shorts and a t-shirt or a summer dress/skirt. Do you not wear these things? What have you been wearing in the heat?

What i was wearing isn't really relevant, I wore a dress but as I already mentioned i didn't come in something very formal it's not relevant as I should be able to wear whatever I like if it's optional.

The issue isn't 'but what were you wearing??' The point is that the clothing day was optional and that everyone has a different idea of casual. Not everyone wants to wear jeans or shorts.

IME students that arrive in their uniform on non uniform day have something bad going on -

They either don't have the appropriate clothes to keep up with their wealthy counterparts or
They are between two houses with one of the parents playing silly buggers and refusing to send clothes across.

I find the same on mufti day or inset days at school.

I’m not a jeans person so everyone thinks I’ve forgotten. Some people don’t seem to get that we wear what we’re comfortable in, whether it’s a dress down day or not.

I think it's about understanding that the default casual option isn't jeans.

I am usually fine wearing jeans or casual cotton trousers but at the moment I’m recovering from knee replacement surgery ( two replacements 4 months apart) and both my incisions are incredibly sensitive to most fabrics. I went to a garden party last night where I knew there would be a mini “Olympic games competition” with games like giant jenga, attaching pegs to a clothes line, welly throwing, jumping through the rungs of a ladder etc, silly but fun after a couple of drinks!

I would probably have worn thin cotton trousers but even those irritate my knees after a while so I wore a dress. I was totally over dressed but no one commentated even though not everyone knew about my surgery. I had a great evening, kept cool and joined in with some of the games - luckily my friends are not rude!

Or they (and their mother) forgot! It happened to my DS once, and we just laughed it off. He said to everyone, "well it would have been worse to come in mufti on a normal day"

My mother worked in a munitions factory during the war.
She always liked to dress nicely and some of the other girls used to tease her.
She told me a couple of her responses to the usual question "Why don't you wear your old clothes to work?"
Response 1: "I haven't got any old clothes"
Response 2: These are my old clothes.

Don't know if you could engineer either of those in to the conversation if it happens again?
Obviously, changing "old" for "casual".

I've certainly only been wearing loose dresses in the heat, even trouser waistbands feel uncomfortable.

You can wear what you like. She didn’t arrest you and force you out of the office did she? She made a comment.

Is there another reason you’re so furious that she made a lighthearted comment?

But why does that matter to you? Like at all?

What you were wearing is relevant though? As if you’d been wearing a formal suit or something what she said would be understandable even if you didn’t like hearing it

I think it was a strange comment. As a fully grown adult you can wear whatever you want to work. I have specific work clothes that are more on the smart side (loafers, smart trousers, shirts, crew neck jumprs etc). I don't wear any of it outside of the office. Outside of work I wear loose jeans, trainers and t shirts. I dont know what it is but the two world's can't collide! You don't need a manager policing whether you're taking advantage of a casual clothing day!!

you are not the only one who doesnt wear jeans i agree

I completely agree. Any non uniform days at school I just prefer to wear work clothes. It’s easier and involves less thought. Plus I prefer to teach in my work ‘uniform’.

This makes your post a bit redundant.

What a weird non problem to start a thread about 🥱

Side issue about school mufti days - please don't judge kids' home lives automatically. Both my boys chose to wear normal uniform as they have some very black and white thoughts (not diagnosed but a couple of autism symptoms) and in their minds school=uniform.

Their secondary has now made blazers noncompulsory and younger ds still wants to wear his as he likes it and it has lots of pockets.

Just felt a bit defensive there!

Presumably others weren't wearing jeans in 30 degree heat? There are loads of casual clothes options that arent jeans, and many dresses arent particularly formal or workwear