AIBU to leave my toddler in an enclosed outside space while I ordered at a cafe?

[Russetboots]

Would you leave your toddler sitting outside in a cafe garden whilst you ordered food inside?

I did this today. I could see my toddler the whole time, he was smiling and waving, as I ordered food. I took about 2 minutes before I returned to him, but the lady at the next table looked shocked that I had left him there.

I would not have left him if a) it wasn't an enclosed garden space where he couldn't leave, b) I couldn't see him the whole time c) he was unhappy.

Just wondering from the lady's reaction if my judgement is off.

I think if you don’t have kids that are flight risks or who are unpredictable it’s a lot easier to make decisions like this too. My two have never run off from where they should be. It just wouldn’t occur to them, I think, they wouldn’t see a point in doing it. They just happily stay where they’ve been told to. They would never just run out of a play area and end up on a road or whatever.

Not being smug, I’ve done nothing, it’s just the way their brains are wired. It’s the same at school/nursery. They are rule-followers like me.

My friend’s 8yo DD is the opposite so if I was her parent, I would make different decisions. I give her less freedom when we have responsibility for her than I do my 4yo.

What's happened before? A child has been snatched while their mum is looking at them, and the abductor has had to go past the mum carrying the child? Has it?

No, definitely not.

Yes, this exact scenario in a cafe with play area. Around five years ago in a shopping centre in my region ( north west). The child was found wandering a few hours later thankfully.

Was the lady at the table next to him?
I hate it when people do that kind of thing.

I would be worried that left alone they might hurt themselves somehow, but I wouldn't judge you for the taking chance.

No. It only takes seconds for the wrong person to have lifted him out and run away. By the time you notice, they would have a huge head start on you.
I was a criminal defence solicitor in a past life and they would always choose the children who were unsupervised. It’s made me hugely risk averse since becoming a Mum x

No I wouldn’t have personally left them, it seems unnecessary to have done so.

i wouldn’t have left them but I wouldn’t have raised eyebrows or tutted at you. I would have kept an eye on your child though. As others have said, it only takes a second for something to happen

You know your child. It was fine, wasn't it? I would have done the same with mine.

Depends, where was the cafe, on a busy road or at something like a farm venue geared to children

Id say definitely not. They're nobody else's responsibility. Anything could happen.

I wouldn’t have left either of mine. Eldest because he wouldn’t have liked it and probably would have trotted in after me. Youngest because he would have found something dangerous to climb very quickly. But I wouldn’t judge anyone else for doing so as I know that all children are different.

I think so long as you could see them and they weren't near something like a road or open water it's a risk I'd have taken. You know your own child and you can't always live your life thinking of the worst case scenario.

It is a risk. Children can run off. People can run off with children. It takes a moment. That is all.
Children forget where they are and run into people carrying trays full of hot drinks and food.
At some point you would not have had him in your sight. Talking to the cafe staff, paying etc.
Having him with you is hard but at least you know he is there.

No way. The benefit doesn't outweigh the risk.

She probably didn’t realise you had eyes on him the whole time.

Probably not as mine is super clingy. But I wouldn’t think twice jf I knew they’d sit there

All 3 year olds are different, some are mature and some are not. Some obey simple instructions and some willfully ignore them. Some sit, some have ants in their pants. Only you know your child. If he was sat down and you could see him the whole time and you KNOW he's a sensible lad then I can't see an issue.

I wouldn't have but I wouldn't have been horrified at someone else doing it either.

Maybe the lady tutted because she thought you had assumed she would keep an eye on your DS.

This ^
and I did kept an eye on a child a few times while mum went to the till.

I wouldn’t have. Seems an unnecessary risk given that you could just have taken your child with you.

When and where has a child been snatched from a cafe table whilst waving to their mum who's waiting to order at the counter. I'm not familiar with any cases.

If I seen a 3 yo sat alone I'd be worried for them and feel obliged to watch them. I wouldn't have left my own at that age. It doesn't take long for things to go wrong and I find it hard to believe you could see them all the time. What about when you ordered?