AIBU to leave my toddler in an enclosed outside space while I ordered at a cafe?

[Russetboots]

Would you leave your toddler sitting outside in a cafe garden whilst you ordered food inside?

I did this today. I could see my toddler the whole time, he was smiling and waving, as I ordered food. I took about 2 minutes before I returned to him, but the lady at the next table looked shocked that I had left him there.

I would not have left him if a) it wasn't an enclosed garden space where he couldn't leave, b) I couldn't see him the whole time c) he was unhappy.

Just wondering from the lady's reaction if my judgement is off.

Given your conditions above I think it’s fine.

I probably wouldn't have left mine. Just in case they bumped or got upset, it would have felt easier to take him in whilst ordering.

Not alone, no

It sounds fine to me.

Depends on age. 3 yes, 15 months no. I’d count both as a toddler.

By toddler do you mean under 3? If so, no, I probably wouldn’t, but I can’t really explain why!

What’s the toddler’s actual age?

Also, how did she look shocked?

3 is no longer a toddler

Toddler is three year old (preschooler?). Just turned three 2 months ago.

She stared at me and gave a little shake of her head type thing, as if in surprise (disapproval). I do feel a bit lax about these things as I often give him little jobs to do like go collect napkins alone from the other side of the room in a busy cafe etc.

He often walks far ahead of me but has never ran off and stops when I say so.

Our son yes, he wouldn’t have moved, our daughter absolutely no way, she’d be halfway around the world by the time I’d ordered.

Could someone have had access to take him? It only takes a second.

From your title I would have said I wouldn’t do it myself, but the fact that you could see him throughout makes it fine. Mine wouldn’t stay though!! She always has to be with me at all times!

It worked fine for you . You could see them throughout.

don’t waste headspace on a random stranger being disapproving.

Yes I’d leave a 3YO sat on a normal chair presuming they were happy and never out of my sight. I wouldn’t have left them in a high chair in case they decided they wanted you and toppled it trying to get out and I certainly wouldn’t have ever let them out of my sight.
(Also I’d personally call a 3YO a preschooler, toddler makes me think 1-2YO which is obviously a whole different thing)

She's already said it was an enclosed space and she could see the child all the time.

At that age, enclosed, able to be seen at all times, yes I could have left both my girls and expected them to stay there for 2 minutes until I got back.

She had access to the closed space and so would other people. It’s happened before hasn’t it.

No because in my head I would be thinking what if I got held up at the till for some reason.

Personally No, but I wouldn't be tutting and blowing if I saw another mum do it.

Only in some kind of emergency. I am not lax about safety and always err on the side of doing the safest possible thing. In theory, I'm sure your son was fine, you could see him the whole time etc but I like to eliminate every variable I possibly can. I am an early years teacher (and have 3 of my own) and my brain is just trained to layer on levels and levels of safety. I wouldn't let a toddler walk ahead of me, even if they normally stop because they are impulsive and you just can't trust any 3 year old to reliably do what you ask.

How could he not leave? Was there literally no way out except through the restaurant?

Mine are in their 30s now and I would definitely have left them if they were in my sight. I fear from reading MN that some will
not have crossed the road alone until they go to Uni.

Yes. We have a farm shop/cafe like this with the cafe opening into an enclosed outdoor play area and plenty of people will come and order etc while their kids are in the play bit, including me with both DC at that age. You can see them the whole time.

Does the cafe serve hot food and drinks? I would assume so - and that’s why I wouldn’t have left him. Toddlers don’t always understand that they have to stay seated and anywhere with hot drinks is a high accident risk for me. Imagine he got up to come in or go and get something and got in the way of someone carrying something hot. You wouldn’t have been there to stop an accident happening.

in the conditions you sea that sounds fine