AIBU to end things over his constant pointless lies?

[DownTheJohn]

Been seeing someone for a few months and I’ve now caught him out on at least 3 stupid lies.

1. he told me he had a dog, a husky called Bear. He would talk about this dog almost daily “I took Bear to the beach today” “just been watching tv with bear” “bear has vets tonight at 4pm” etc. first time I went to his house there were no signs of a dog at all so I said “where is bear?” He looked confused, then panicked and then said “oh he died unfortunately” so I said “when?? Because late last night you said you were walking him early this morning …”. He said he died last night so I said “and you never mentioned it? Come on …” so he admitted he didn’t have a dog but bear did exist, it’s his sisters dog. This also turned out to be a lie.
2. He told me he had joined the Conservative Party and was considering running as a councillor. This turned out to be a complete lie.
3. he told me today that he had gone to see the Monet exhibition in the local art gallery. Yet tonight he was on the phone and I heard him confirm with his boss that he had worked a full day today starting at 9am and finishing at 5. Afterwards I said “thought you were at art gallery today?” So he stumbled on his words and said “oh - no - well yes I was but that was yesterday, I got my days mixed up” he literally called me at 2pm saying he had just left the art gallery!! I was meant to be staying at his house tonight but I’ve come home telling him I can’t be doing with the constant stupid lies. AIBU

You would never be able to trust he was telling you the truth, about big things as well as small pointless ones. I couldn’t have a relationship with someone like that.

Leave him. He will mess with your mind, he’s already doing it and you’re only a few months in. Trust me, you will be questioning your sanity and it’ll take a toll on your mental health.

Mmmm! A Walter Mitty. Dump him before things go from weird to dangerous.

Yikes - run for the hills, you don’t need a cut price Walter Mitty in your life. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

A dog named Bear... I'm so sure that I've seen a character in a book or in a Rom Com or some such with a dog of that name.

Can only think that caring for the dog made him (in his mind) sound like a caring soul, The Tory councillor... (would have been a turn off for me!) was to make him sound important like he was politically knowledgable and community minded maybe?
The art gallery... he's a skiver. But wanted to show off that he was so cultured he had to do it. But yes. Essentially a skiver who also lies to his boss and colleagues.

He's insecure and feels that he needs to impress in areas where he's lacking, unfortunately that's being caring, knowledgeable and cultural.. almost the whole enchilada.

You know it had to be done OP... but he's certainly inventive and gets into the whole character of the thing, which would actually be quite fascinating to watch if you weren't having to date him at the same time.

Sorry, but he doesn’t even remember the lies? It’s one thing being a liar but being stupid is just too much!

What “sort of comments”. Your comment about me having “something wrong with me” was actually much nastier than my comment. And , unlike mine, yours was not said in jest.

And trust me, spend 5 minutes on Facebook and you’ll find derogatory comments about “lefties” and “bleeding hearts liberals”. I really think you’ve got to be a pretty special kind of touchy to take offence at my comment.

But if you find it so outrageous that you need to “call me out”, please feel free to report me 🙄

ETA you’ll be busy on that report button, lots of people have said similar so…enjoy!

Why do you even need to ask, FFS.

It’s worrying that you even have to ask if you’re being unreasonable.

If he's going to lie about unimportant things, what's to stop him lying about something significant? Doesn't sound to me like someone you'd want to spend life with..

I’d be up front with him & next he does it & you catch him out tell him sorry but I don’t date silly idiots who talk bullshit your xx years old not 13 trying to impress your school mates!!
Nice knowing you well the bits where you told the truth. And leave or kick him out & move on because hour clogging a dead horse with this deadbeat

Do you really need to ask OP?

My last one was like this. Utter weirdo and VERY manipulative. Only thing I knew was true was where he lived as I had been there myself. Proper covert narc. He wanted to exploit me at every chance.

RUN!!!

That was predictable.

Whaaaat? Hes batshit crazy.. what are you thinking?? Run very fast

This! ☝️ What a bloody weirdo!! RUN!!

99% of me says dump and run, 1% says fight fire with fire and drop hints that you're a paid assassin.

That’s wild OP. WTF 😬 was he thinking? You handled it like a boss all the same!

Really? This makes you feel under attack?

I've seen comments on MN about people who are too "woke" and left liberals ect. Not to mention all the threads complaining about the current government.

Posters saying they wouldn't have dated a man who was a Conservative Councillor candidate is hardly a toxic comment.
Its a dating preference.

People often guage who they want to date based on sharing similar views on politics, films, music etc because they want to date someone with the same interests.

Don’t worry. I’ve already been told off.

You're going to find the rest of the thread pretty tedious as lots of people have made the same point. So do yourself a favour and skip The rest unless you have something constructive to say to the op. I’m so bored of offended Tories quoting me now.

Would have been very creeped out about the dog thing and dumped him then tbh.

Run (much faster than the pace that he was running for Conservative councillor).

Yeah my immediate thought was also he has to have something seriously wrong with him. Lying like this is always symptomatic of a much worse problem that she will have to face further down the line

I'd have dumped him after he killed off the fake dog, then resuscitated him for another lie!
OP, get out of there fast. These little lies seem to be built around impressing you in some way and making you think better of him. I feel very sorry for the guy, but surely the last thing you need is a chronic liar with deep insecurities that will require tending and monitoring and may never improve.
If things are bad/weird/uncomfortable even at the start, there is zero reason to tough it out.

run like the wind and don’t look back

They’re not even very interesting lies! And he doesn’t sound very bright if he didn’t think about the fact he’d have to explain where the dog is. They are batshit but fairly harmless lies, what happens when he’s in a relationship and starts to lie about important things like finances or something to do with safety? Plus, imagine how sad it would be if you were his girlfriend and he was still making up pointless lies to make your life together seem more interesting