AIBU to discuss A level success without private school spending?

[Absorbthecost]

Parents/carers who have not spent a penny on Educating their children and they have just received great A level results.

The sacrifices made all the struggle,

I’m interested to discuss families where the child has succeeded without need for private school

https://www.gbnews.com/money/private-school-fees-soar-vat

https://www.ft.com/content/091b214d-231b-414a-8f3e-9ef9fc021926?syn-25a6b1a6=1

Those who did pay,

presumably to secure great results at A level

The same kids off to Uni, placements easier to secure as less international competition. Uni the playing field evens.

And now time to pay for Uni,

https://inews.co.uk/news/education/university-tuition-fees-11000-2030-4705197?srsltid=AfmBOorss52PSHD6xJzisWMdeNxcXDen3IrCGS49nnGH1ZyDnmvTOh_k

A child who did outstanding (without spending a penny) the same result as a family who spent £250k + The above article is a low estimation for a selective U.K. day/ boarding.

The kids holding the same result off to the same Uni, How are families feeling!?…. Did you save to help towards the Uni Fees/accomodation.

I haven’t read all the replies but what a strange thread. Does anyone pay for private school for the academic results? I’d wager at academically selective schools there is zero value add in terms of grades. Lots of reasons to choose private but grades is way down the list.

What a strange comment considering the title of my thread is

AIBU to discuss A level success without private school spending?

An investigation into Value for money and A level success.

You’re late to the party and I’m leaving the chat.

I found my answer.

https://thetab.com/2026/08/13/ranked-the-state-schools-that-got-more-oxbridge-offers-than-eton-harrow-and-winchester

I’m going to revisit this thread at the end of the 26/7 academic year to update. Continue debate.

value for money is completely subjective though.

if you only go by grades of course not but each person has their own reasons for sending their child private. I got value for money sending my child private simply as they wanted to play sport which the local school didn’t offer. So worth every single penny. Zero value add whatsoever In Terms of their grades but wasn’t bothered by that.

Many MN threads on athletes and kids who are scouted for pro sports. Most of the greats from humble beginnings and talent recognised at grass roots for free. Academies. Not sure there’s any argument even RE sport. It’s talent. Ability. To get to the top.

This thread was specifically RE congratulating children who have achieved high academic grades at A level, securing Uni places without the £250k Day care.

okaaayyy

Do you even know what a debate is? You have actually discussed or debated anything.

you’ve complained about your child’s school that you’re going to continue paying a premium for and repeated shared the same link and screenshot.

that does not show “high intelligence”

Have you personal knowledge of all private schools in the UK?
You had one bad experience and out of that you're generalising in an almost comical way. My bet is on you being a sacked private school teacher with a ship on your shoulder.

Bit confused as to why we wouldn't congratulate children who have been subjected to one of these terrible, poor quality private schools and still, miraculously, come out with great A levels.

Absolutely. But the OP doesn't stop there; she makes sweeping generalisations about ALL private schools. Some are bad, some are excellent. Just like state schools. It just takes some research before you decide which one to choose.

My neighbour sent her kids to private so they didn’t have to mix with the riffraff at state school, the RP accent rather than a local one etc. apparently they would have been beaten up at state and had their phones nicked? It was good enough for my kids though 🙄

The school would lecture them regularly that their parents were spending a lot of money for them to go there and they needed to get top grades. Neighbours boys weren’t very bright and scraped through exams, getting into ex-poly’s despite ambitions of Russel Group. I suspect if they’d have gone to state school they’d have struggled as the private insisted they pay for tutoring as well because they weren’t achieving.

i suppose she thinks she got value for money as they’re a bit posh boy, with ok jobs and wives and kids. I can’t stand them, they think they are better than everyone else and can’t have a conversation with them. You have to shut up and listen while they bestow their opinions on a loud hectoring voice.

It's obviously impossible to tell what someone's outcome would have been if they had taken a different path.

Perhaps she would still have paid for tutoring, and they would still have scraped their exams. Or perhaps the constant focus on achievement by their school was, as you say, what made the difference. Or perhaps having classmates whose parents all cared about their education made a difference.

It's impossible to know alternative futures - either before or after the fact. We make choices in that uncertainty.

Choosing a school for your child obviously doesn't change their intelligence. And whilst it can change their outlook and behaviour, that too is limited by their character and your own home environment.

What each parent is doing - regardless of school or sector - is trying to help their child be the best possible version of themselves.

Decent jobs, stable family life - despite being a bit of a bore and not very bright - might well be a far better life result than they would have achieved otherwise. It might have been the best investment of her money into her children she could possibly have made.

That obviously has absolutely zero to do with how your child would react to each school, or what they would have achieved in either school.

Why on earth would she make decisions for her children based on what outcomes for your child would be...

It’s extraordinary how many grown adults there are who make wild assumptions and spiteful comments about others for making different choices to them.

Not all private schools are rubbish, or brilliant, or all the same as each other. Not all state schools are rubbish, or brilliant, or all the same as each other. Some children are better suited to one than another.

Don’t we all do the best we can to suit our own child’s specific needs within the means and options that we have?

Because the OP’s point isn’t to congratulate children from state schools doing well.
it’s to moan about the money she’s paid/continuing to pay for her child’s education but being worth it because children from state school are doing just as well!

a congratulatory post and the thread that followed would have gone very different

A lot of children who are privately educated are there because parents have scraped together the money to pay because mainstream education with large class sizes and the lack of SEN support would have their child stressed and overwhelmed and the fear that their child wouldnt survive the education system.

Getting top A level results isn’t something that even crosses their minds

Mainstream education isn’t designed for the ND or a child with SENs

There might be specialist schools for those children who will never live independently and will require life long care but what was in between if you could scrape together the fees and there was a school in your area were the smaller private schools with small class sizes and teachers having the time to actually know a child and go over things/explain something in a different way if someone is struggling with a concept and the other children there being more accepting of any quirks that would make a child stand out and be a target for bullies at the more mainstream schools.
Unfortunately these very schools are the ones that are going to the wall now they have to charge VAT.

The government once again has missed the point completely when they priced out the viability of these schools and seem to congratulate themselves that they can offer these ex private school pupils places in the big primary and secondary schools in their area.
If these schools were a good fit for the child in the first place then the child would have gone to these schools in the first place.

Like everything this particular government has done it’s first thought is to get rid of anything that might be different to what the government can offer without providing a like for like alternative

@Absorbthecost what a bizarre thread. You sound like you have a huge chip on your shoulder and it's unclear why.

There are loads of reasons why people send their DC to private schools. IMO, generally, achieving high grades will not appear in the top 5

I went to a private school. I grew up in a deprived area, the local state secondary had the highest underage teenage pregnancy rate in the country and a really bad drugs and violence problem. My parents didn't want myself or my siblings in the that environment. We all did 'well' in private school, not amazing grades but got our first choices for uni.

I now live in an affluent area. Our DC go to the very good state schools, we can't afford private for all our DC unless we were to sell our house and live in a worse area with potentially worse schools.

Most parents want their DC to do 'their best' at whatever school they go to.

I guess the OP is just not rich enough for private school.
If you are rich enough, you absorb the cost.

That Tab article on Oxbridge offers in absolute terms is disingenuous. Who cares how many got in if they aren’t disclosing the overall cohort size. It is thousands at eg Peter Symonds, which makes the percentage about 2.7 per cent. Versus King’s Maths where it is 54% - they only take Imperial and Oxbridge candidates with top grades in the first place. Pretty much like Westminster School, that still has a 36% rate for 2026.
Plus in a lot of grammar schools like Henrietta Barnet which could look lowish at 17% given prior attainment, once you realise their Med and Vet offer rate is huge, it all becomes so entirely meaningless. Some of these London grammars have med success rates in excess of 20% of cohort size in some years.
It is best not to suspend critical thinking.

@Araminta1004 completely agree. Lots of grammars on that list or schools that have a very high GCSE points requirement to attend

What I did find genuinely interesting is how the vast majority of these high attaining schools are virtually all in the south / south east. It seems regional educational outcomes are getting worse

Great for your son, but your point about ‘private school being for bragging rights’ is ridiculous.

Also, I’d never want to say anything heavy-handed, as intelligence takes many forms - but, just to say, the GCSE requirements to do A-levels at London’s top private sixth forms are generally FAR higher than the requirements at state, so….

You are spectacularly missing the point. Parents send their children to private school for a variety of reasons.
I would say

One or both parents went to private school so they want the same for their child

There are families that send their children to a particular private school because generations of their family have all gone to that private school.

Not wanting their children to go to the local comp because they see how these children behave outside of school and don’t want that for their child

Their child has an SEN and having received very little help through primary school the private alternative seems a much better fit.

Their child is ND and would be a target for bullies

Their child is shy and overwhelmed at the size of the classes

They might choose private because the school terms are much shorter and they get off peak deals on holidays

Or the local private school is the closest school to their house by several miles

Or because their child is bright and NT but would struggle with the noise and interruptions during lessons

Thr whole point is that those children sent to private school, a lot are just looking to survive education and come out of it unscathed

3 A levels at a decent grade doesn’t even cross people’s minds

You seem to think that is the only reason to send a child up private school

I suspect the fact that you can't stand them is colouring your idea of what their education was like.

If people pay for the grades they’ll surely end up sorely disappointed. It’s partly down to natural intelligence, no private school can force that. My SIL and DH went to private school, SIL is feckless and to be frank, dim.

My elder son had a partly private school education and got two GCSEs, neither of which were in maths or English. No we weren’t there for the grades! 🙄

It's interesting that @Absorbthecost only refers to grades.

I would say that, in the main, private schools excel at soft skills, inner resilience and oracy.

I have met many senior managers/ directors in my career with average grades but exceptional soft skills, many come from private schools

“What I did find genuinely interesting is how the vast majority of these high attaining schools are virtually all in the south / south east. It seems regional educational outcomes are getting worse”

@Pipsquiggle - agreed. It isn’t something in the water though. London is expensive and competitive to survive in, especially if you do it yourself without bank of mum and dad. It is the battle hymn of the tiger region and ethos at large. It is like comparing parts of New York gifted and talented with parts of the Mid West. If life is expensive and competitive to survive in, that affects from the beginning. It is not always necessarily a good thing. There is a lot of burn out and stress amongst the population too. Plenty of the younger generation are choosing lifestyle and path of least resistance instead.