How much do you do on holiday

[gollygosshhh]

Bit of a row between dh and I on holiday today - in Balearics and have spent most of the week in the resort. It’s a good family friendly place, loads of activities for kids and a beach and water park nearby which we’ve visited. But when abroad I like to see a bit more of the area and suggested a boat trip to a different part of the island tomorrow. Dh basically shot the idea down saying it’s too hot and it’ll be a nightmare with the youngest (3) who to be fair is probably happiest playing in the pool and attending the hotel activities. Older ds (12) may benefit from seeing a bit but isn’t really fussed either. But I get bored and just feel like it’s a waste to come this far and basically stay in the hotel all week.

I don’t disagree with Dh per se but feel a bit deflated and I guess guilty for not making the most of our time away. I’m not talking exclusions everyday but if it were up to Dh we literally wouldn’t go anywhere. Is it worth pushing this or do we just stick to norm.

I am also a ‘do-er’. I get incredibly bored just lying around and don’t find that relaxing at all. I love to go somewhere different every year and explore. Now the children are grown we don’t usually even stay in 1 place for the holiday. We do mix some more relaxing days in, or preferably just a relaxing morning / afternoon and doing something the rest of the day. I really don’t see the point in travelling to just see the inside of a holiday resort. I also don’t understand people that go to the same place every year. But everyone is different and need different things to recharge themselves

I travel a lot and have seen and experienced many places. I do however really enjoy a one week beach holiday, I never get bored doing activities in the sea and reading books on the beach.

100% depends on the holiday. If we do self catered then we explore, and have a little trip out every day - doesn't have to be far, just to local town for an ice cream or the beach for a swim, or out for an evening meal. If we are having an all inclusive hol somewhere gorgeous then we stay at the resort the majority of the time, certainly wouldn't be leaving daily, might do one day trip but other than that we use the facilities we have paid for and fully relax - as much as you can with young kids anyway!!

We like variety and get bored sitting around the pool and beach all day. If it’s a beach holiday we would definitely fit in a boat trip/snorkelling and some other excursion like a quad safari or visiting a different beach/area. When it’s hot tho it’s too much to be wandering around in the mid-day heat so we may visit nearby towns for the evening or something like that. I find with all inclusive you’re inclined to stay at the hotel as you feel you need to get your moneys-worth! But then you don’t experience any variety - that’s why we wouldn’t go all inclusive again (although it is handy with small children).

I'm not comfortable with not visiting my surroundings. I couldn't return home knowing I'd had an opportunity to experience even just a little bit of a whole other country. I'd be so disappointed in myself, so I do understand your feelings about it.

My ideal holiday is to do loads, i like to hike, explore and and do as many excursions as possible! But my kids hated it in the heat so when they were younger we used to split up, me and the eldest up at 6 and hiking before it got too hot and the youngest back at the hotel. Now they are older we go out of season it’s cooler and they each choose an excursion they would enjoy that we all do together,

I’m on the Balearics (for the eclipse). It’s blisteringly hot, and the thought of cooking for several hours on the sea on a boat trip doesn’t appeal, even though I would usually be up for it.

And really, you can’t contemplate going on your own?

It would drive me nuts not to go anywhere or do anything. If it’s 7 days, I’d maybe have 1 hotel day if I feel tired.

However I absolutely hate having no plans, and would be upset at the waste of money and annual leave time. Doing nothing by the pool with nice food and drink or resort-style activities is something I do all summer long in the UK, I don’t have to travel for that. Say if you spend 2k on a holiday for 4 - and I assume you’ve spent more - you can massively upgrade your daily life in the UK with that and therefore have less of a need for a holiday.

I’d only travel abroad to do lots of things and experience the country and culture. And I don’t mean running from attraction to attraction, but having genuine things to remember the holiday by, such as one fantastic afternoon having the most beautiful cocktails, chatting and people watching, or a tough hike to the top of a mountain for the most incredible view

if the kids are catered for go on your own or with the older kids (if they fancy it). There is no reason why you can't do different things. We go on a beach holiday twice a year and see about 95% of the holiday makers just stay around the pool all the time and a handful hire a car for a couple of days. We sometimes like to visit archaeological sites, to go on boat trips and hikes,as well as snorkelling every day, but the older we get the less we do when on holiday partly because we don't feel like it and partly because activities have become prohibitively expensive.

For me, making the most of a holiday is it being enjoyable, however that looks. If everyone is having a great time round the pool, why upset the apple cart?

Trust me, you are making memories.
I have fabulous memories of playing in tne pools on long sunny days on holidays (usually with some ridiculous inflatable).
Now tbf my Dad used to make us do excursions. Some I am glad of, for example seeing the pyramids in Eygpt…Not that I would ever want to go again! Others, being dragged around markets and on hot coaches, I just remember being sad that I was missing the pool!
I too have a three year old and If they were happy I 100% wouldn’t be rocking that boat!!

I am a relaxer on holiday.
Round the pool or on the beach every day. With kids playing in the water.
Night time - dinner and drinks.

If I want to “explore” I go on mini city breaks without kids. When mine becomes a teenager and no longer interested in playing in pools/the sea/water parks then I’ll incorporate them in city breaks and sight seeing holidays. But to me a “holiday” is pure relaxation and indulging in foods without feeling guilty and doing minimal movement.

I’m an adventurer on holiday .. Road trips .
I could never imagine being in a resort all week and not seeing anything !
each to their own though

I've never had a holiday where I haven't been out doing things almost every day.

Yep… basically, if the kids are happy, it doesn’t matter how shit your holiday is because if they aren’t happy, it’s fucking miserable anyway.

Whilst this is a great ambition, it’s incredibly difficult to find things that (most) adults genuinely enjoy as well as (in our case) a 2 and a 5yo. We have nice times on holiday but would we be doing the same stuff if we didn’t have kids? No. We do stuff that they like and we can tolerate and we enjoy being together and them having fun.

On our first holiday as a family of four the kids were 1 and 3, so we mostly stayed at the resort and ventured out a little. As they’ve gotten older the balance has shifted to the point where we no longer go on resort holidays as we aren’t around enough to make use of the facilities.

We tend to swim for an hour early in the morning, then we’re out on boat trips, exploring, whatever sounds interesting.

I disagree. Holidays are for everyone. I was a solo parent for pretty much all of my child's childhood. I started taking them abroad at 3. That first holiday funnily enough was in the Balearics, and we went on a couple of trips. On a boat and to the caves.

All of our holidays were for both of us, and generally active. We went to Orlando when my child was 4 for 3 weeks. We also went to many long haul destinations Asia, Central America, Nile Cruises. Lots of culture, exploring and learning about new cultures. Always just the two of us.

We both have such amazing memories of these holidays that we both enjoyed, and will often reminisce about and my child is in their 30s now. We both agree that their experiences shaped them as a person.

I am still not saying that this is what everyone should do! But is a good example of how it's easy enough to do holidays that adults love when you have children too.

Agree with this! My two are similar ages to yours and our holidays are similar - any activities are kids friendly; I'm not dragging them round a city/historical site unless it's something DH or I really want to do.

That said we do a mix of staying on the campsite (eurocamp/haven usually) and exploring. This year it will be a few days of pool and beach with wanders to the local town for food/supplies and a few bigger days out. Possibly to a theme park or adventure park nearby.

On a weeks holiday we’d maybe do 2 days max inside the resort. I can’t bear the thought of just sitting around in the same place all week. We’ve scaled back what we do a little since kids, we can’t expect them to traipse around all day but we still go and see things like historical monuments, scenic villages, boat trips, etc. we just always make sure there’s at least an ice cream and a park somewhere for 3 year old and we tend to end the day on the beach when it’s a bit quieter and everyone else is watching the hotel entertainment.

As a family, we used to go for longer than a week, never stayed in a resort and chose places where there were a variety of sights or destinations for trips.
The general rule was days 1 and 2 chill and get familiar with hotel and local area. Thereafter doing trips, walks or organised activities, like reef snorkelling or sea canoeing, every other day. Child was between 10 and 15.
We definitely did not want to visit far-flung, exotic places without exploring the local culture. If we had just wanted to mooch round a pool, we would have stayed in our home country.

I agree… but not as harshly! I think yabu because you won’t do it on your own.

I would get so bored just ‘chilling’ all day. But we purposely book sport holidays.

My dc have made comments about going on a ‘do nothing’ holiday. But then they soon realise they would also be bored very quickly.

I like to see the place too. But only with equally enthusiastic company. There is nothing worse than going with a partner who has 'warned agsinst' it being unpleasant due to heat, crowds, DC behaviour, traffic, whatever. Because those things will be issues and at best you'll have their silent I told you so face. At worst it will end in tears.
In your shoes I'd either gather my courage and go with eldest. If you plan the logistics well and use a reputable tour it will be fine as you'll be literally taken where you want to go.
Or I'd suggest a short trip first thing or in the evening.
Next time, at holiday planning stage, be assertive that you want to do X and Y while there. Get it on the agenda so everyone knows this is going to happen.

We do a lot on holiday, always have.

We also acknowledge that sometimes those interests don’t match up and when the children were small they were not always suitable for children. So in Budapest DH took children to the science museum which was also his strong preference while I went to the house that was now a museum that had been the HQ of the Secret Police.

DH also liked building extensive and huge sandcastles with them, so at that point I would nip off for an hour or two to peruse local shops for gifts. The last holiday we had as a family as all grown up now we took DS and his GF away with us. I did my usual early morning swim alone, they like swimming but not as much as me. Plus I’m a much earlier riser.