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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take more pleasure from the spats on MN than the genuine / helpful / lovely comments?

80 replies

Absolutefuckinglegend · 13/08/2026 02:03

AIBU to take more pleasure from the spats on MN than the genuine / helpful / lovely comments?

This place is fucking hilarious.

OP posts:
Seacatt · 13/08/2026 02:05

I don't like it at all.
I find it very tiresome and annoying especially when it goes on and on.
Detracts from the OP.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 13/08/2026 02:11

They're entertaining when you don't give a shit , know they're totally fake and I'm not the one being ripped a new one.

Insufferable when someone deliberately takes your reasoned response out of context because they're bored and are spoiling for a rumble.

Otherwise, yeah 🍿.

Candleflakes · 13/08/2026 03:33

It gets boring quickly, especially when it’s an interesting thread but there’s 2/3 pages of people arguing about unrelated nonsense.

WLINewbie · 13/08/2026 03:35

Absolutefuckinglegend · 13/08/2026 02:03

AIBU to take more pleasure from the spats on MN than the genuine / helpful / lovely comments?

This place is fucking hilarious.

Did you mean to be so rude?

LadyMinerva · 13/08/2026 03:37

You are being deliberately obtuse OP.

Goodadvice1980 · 13/08/2026 06:49

WLINewbie · 13/08/2026 03:35

Did you mean to be so rude?

Show quote history

You forgot to add <head tilt> and tinkly laugh 😂

CoffeeCantata · 13/08/2026 07:19

Can you explain why, though?

I find it excruciating and a bit depressing. I think it just plays into old prejudices against women (I know MN isn't exclusively women, but I'd guess largely).

I don't like using words like catty and bitchy - they're such a sexist trope. But honestly, sometimes, if the cap fits etc

BirdLandedonmyHead · 13/08/2026 07:21

Pile ons arent funny.
But the reaction of some to minor criticism can be hard to stop reading.

Hot dog anyone?

CoffeeCantata · 13/08/2026 07:35

There was a recent thread where a poor OP had been burned when a pizza landed on her - and ruined her dress.

She mentioned the make of the dress and - wow! The bitchy, snobbish remarks were something to behold. I get that women might feel those emotions but actually to come out and kick someone when they're down by sneering at the label they're wearing. I'd hate to meet those pps IRL.

Unbelievable.

SusanJJ · 13/08/2026 07:41

No, I find them tiresome, especially when someone trying to make a serious point repeatedly gets accused of misogyny or enabling abuse or something else they haven't done.

CoffeeCantata · 13/08/2026 07:44

SusanJJ · 13/08/2026 07:41

No, I find them tiresome, especially when someone trying to make a serious point repeatedly gets accused of misogyny or enabling abuse or something else they haven't done.

I'm going to be a bit nasty now!

I agree. I think you get that from the dumber, less intelligent pps who parrot stuff they've heard, read or been on a course about. They seem to look for reasons to be offended or to pick on the OP. It's especially annoying when it's nothing to do with the OP's question.

CoffeeCantata · 13/08/2026 07:46

Come back, though, OP and join the discussion. You raised a point.

I hate it when people start a thread and then go AWOL.

LoyalMintOtter · 13/08/2026 07:47

I think there are so many threads set up for clicks these days and yes probsbly this one

scalt · 13/08/2026 07:47

It’s precisely what’s wrong with social media. Mumsnet is particularly bad for it. Woe betide anyone who enters the house of Mumsnet with shoes on, didn’t they know it’s a “global standard” to remove them?

And, believe it or not, this is older than internet social media. On teletext in 1997, there was a page “Backchat” where teenagers could write in, and respond to previous comments. One I remember was: “Backchat is brill because of the stupid things you all argue about. Keep up the good work, it’s so funny!” It sums up the whole of modern social media.

Rondayvu · 13/08/2026 08:02

I feel I am missing something as I rarely see spats - I need to up my game and read more threads..

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 13/08/2026 08:26

IMO some people join forums largely so that they can enjoy having a safe, anonymous go at other people.

They don’t bother me in the slightest - I just think they’re pathetic.

And MN is often so predictable. Any question of fiddling benefits, NO!!! Nobody fiddles, them, what about Evil Big Business, etc. etc. plus of course Keep Your Beak Out - another MN-speak cliche.

Not to mention women’s choice of clothing, Yes, it’s a woman’s basic human right to have her entire arse on display except for a thong when she’s shopping in Tesco/waiting for a bus - anyone suggesting otherwise is an antiquated misogynistic prude.

JeremiaBoogle · 13/08/2026 09:11

I suppose it can be entertaining but only if you disconnect from the fact hese are aactual people and the online behavior is showing personality.

When i don't disconnect i feel it's sad is that there are people who genuinely seem unable to cope with the existence of anyone whose opinions, values or way of doing things differ from their own (when those differences neither harm nor affect them in any way). Can be anything from wearing eyeliner to washing towels to different dialects, accents and pronunciations. It's just so pathetic.

You can only hope that the posters who are so unable to cope with anything outside their narrow version of normality also have other negative traits attributed to posters on MN. Least that means they don't walk among us - as they don't leave the house, answer the door - or even speak to anyone expect for their 6'2" "built like a ruby player''* husband and 6'4" son or their intelligent and popular daughter

*other descriptions of what you suspect is really chubby, apply.

Userxyd · 13/08/2026 09:14

Depends what you mean by “take pleasure”! If you’re wondering at the hilarity thinking aren’t people mad then YANBU but if you’re getting enraged too thinking yes she’s an idiot, you tell her then YABU cos it’s getting you worked up and angry which is not a good use of your spare time!

redskyAtNigh · 13/08/2026 09:16

I think it depends. Sometime two posters get into a ridiculous back and forth about something inconsequential that just derails the thread. Sometimes there is a genuine attempt to understand why another poster has a differing opinion, and those I often find interesting if the person is able to articulate it well. Threads where there is a lot of "well I think x". "Well x is clearly wrong" "oh no it isn't" "Why do you think that" "well it clearly just is" are very pointless.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 13/08/2026 11:35

LoyalMintOtter · 13/08/2026 07:47

I think there are so many threads set up for clicks these days and yes probsbly this one

1 million percent this 👆 I can't take any of it seriously anymore, they are so blatantly click bait and should be viewed as such. Thinking there is someone seriously in peril when they have posted their heart tugging post then skidaddled is the road to high blood pressure.

Original poster
Absolutefuckinglegend · 13/08/2026 11:46

WLINewbie · 13/08/2026 03:35

Did you mean to be so rude?

Show quote history

Not sure in what way I was rude.

MN really can be hilarious.

OP posts:
Original poster
Absolutefuckinglegend · 13/08/2026 11:46

LadyMinerva · 13/08/2026 03:37

You are being deliberately obtuse OP.

How so?

OP posts:
Original poster
Absolutefuckinglegend · 13/08/2026 11:48

CoffeeCantata · 13/08/2026 07:19

Can you explain why, though?

I find it excruciating and a bit depressing. I think it just plays into old prejudices against women (I know MN isn't exclusively women, but I'd guess largely).

I don't like using words like catty and bitchy - they're such a sexist trope. But honestly, sometimes, if the cap fits etc

Quiet observer of a recent BBQ / hot dog thread. The OP had asked the world at large a question but then OP's reactions were just utterly bizarre. Like, people were trying to be helpful and said stuff that absolutely wasn't pointed or goading, but OP ripped them a new one in disagreement... When all they'd done was answer her question.

I got the 🍿 out.

OP posts:
MultiBead · 13/08/2026 11:48

Oh dear OP

I think some of these comments are going waaaaay over your head! 🤣

Original poster
Absolutefuckinglegend · 13/08/2026 11:49

BirdLandedonmyHead · 13/08/2026 07:21

Pile ons arent funny.
But the reaction of some to minor criticism can be hard to stop reading.

Hot dog anyone?

Yah, this is what I had in mind.

Ppl being catty / bitchy, not my bag, but the OTT reactions or cray cray assumptions are just wild. And, to me, fucking funny.

OP posts: