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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH had a go about housework etc

77 replies

CocoBean22 · 11/08/2026 23:05

Tonight DH had a massive go at me for not loading and putting the dishwasher going when he got home from work, as I was at the beach all day with DS.
Said that the house is a tip (it’s not I’m just prioritising days out and doing things with DS on summer hols)
Ive gone to bed utterly pissed off as I feel like it was an unfair comment, I work part time and the days I have off with DS we are doing nice things during summer holidays.
Every day I will hoover, clean kitchen and bathrooms etc, but washing pile needs to be folded and things like toys tidied away but I figured that can wait until I get chance as making memories and having fun on the summer holidays is priority.
AIBU?

OP posts:
InvitedWho · 11/08/2026 23:08

Is there something wrong with his own hands? Perhaps he has no hands?

flaxensunshine · 11/08/2026 23:08

And what is the reason he can’t do those things?

CocoBean22 · 11/08/2026 23:08

He says he’s been at work all day 🙄

OP posts:
TrunkElliot · 11/08/2026 23:09

@InvitedWho
Maybe he’s working 12 hour days so @CocoBean22 can make memories.

wotsitallfor · 11/08/2026 23:09

so another man that doesn’t count childcare as a task

BirthdayTrash · 11/08/2026 23:10

Unless:

a) you’re using your vagina to do these chores, and he saw his mother do the same, or
b) his cock is so massive that he has to hold it constantly to move around to avoid standing on it and therefore has no hands free to undertake basic chores

tell him to fuck all the way off.

risingup · 11/08/2026 23:10

CocoBean22 · 11/08/2026 23:05

Tonight DH had a massive go at me for not loading and putting the dishwasher going when he got home from work, as I was at the beach all day with DS.
Said that the house is a tip (it’s not I’m just prioritising days out and doing things with DS on summer hols)
Ive gone to bed utterly pissed off as I feel like it was an unfair comment, I work part time and the days I have off with DS we are doing nice things during summer holidays.
Every day I will hoover, clean kitchen and bathrooms etc, but washing pile needs to be folded and things like toys tidied away but I figured that can wait until I get chance as making memories and having fun on the summer holidays is priority.
AIBU?

YANBU there is no way the house was a tip if you'd been at the beach all day and you hoover, clean the kitchen and clean the bathrooms every day. It just doesn't add up.

It's more about your DH, he probably had a shit day at work at was incensed that he had to actually hand wash a mug before he could have a cup of tea, silly twat lol.

CocoBean22 · 11/08/2026 23:11

Basically I got home from the beach and ive left a bag of wet towel and beach wear in the conservatory (it can wait until tomorrow when ive had chance to shake it off outside before putting in the washing machine) as no sooner as I had got home with DS from the beach I cooked tea and he had football practice to go to

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 11/08/2026 23:13

You never get these years back. You will always have dishes and housework. You are right to prioritise your time with your son.
We always put the dishwasher on overnight anyway. Cheaper electricity.
Does your husband consider you a domestic servant?

WessexPrincess · 11/08/2026 23:16

BirthdayTrash · 11/08/2026 23:10

Unless:

a) you’re using your vagina to do these chores, and he saw his mother do the same, or
b) his cock is so massive that he has to hold it constantly to move around to avoid standing on it and therefore has no hands free to undertake basic chores

tell him to fuck all the way off.

That made me howl 🤣

BirthdayTrash · 11/08/2026 23:18

WessexPrincess · 11/08/2026 23:16

That made me howl 🤣

I might be a few gins down. ;)

Perfect28 · 11/08/2026 23:18

TrunkElliot · 11/08/2026 23:09

@InvitedWho
Maybe he’s working 12 hour days so @CocoBean22 can make memories.

I'm sorry what? Don't working people also have to do housework?

Rhaidimiddim · 11/08/2026 23:20

CocoBean22 · 11/08/2026 23:08

He says he’s been at work all day 🙄

And if he did not have a wife at home, he'd have to load the dishwasher himself.

You, working for money part-time and raising his child while he's at work, so he doesn't have to pay for childcare, is something he should be infinitely grateful for.

You are working full-time too, he just doesn't value the stuff that you do.

Keep giving your DC good times and tell your miserable, entitled DH that you are not his maid or cleaner; if he lived alone he'd have to do it all, and if he diesn't mend his attitude he will indeed end up living alone (except forbthe days he has DC) so he'd better start getting his hand in on the domestic stuff nowc.

Rhaidimiddim · 11/08/2026 23:21

CocoBean22 · 11/08/2026 23:08

He says he’s been at work all day 🙄

So Have You! Childcare is labour.

VivIsBlonde · 11/08/2026 23:22

CocoBean22 · 11/08/2026 23:11

Basically I got home from the beach and ive left a bag of wet towel and beach wear in the conservatory (it can wait until tomorrow when ive had chance to shake it off outside before putting in the washing machine) as no sooner as I had got home with DS from the beach I cooked tea and he had football practice to go to

Sorting out wet towels is always my priority when I get home from the beach or swimming, if left they tend to start to smell damp, so I can understand your husbands complaints

Gowlett · 11/08/2026 23:26

wotsitallfor · 11/08/2026 23:09

so another man that doesn’t count childcare as a task

Except when they’re doing it, of course!

outerspacepotato · 11/08/2026 23:26

Who the fuck does he think he is, your king? If he wants it done do badly, then he can do it. It sounds like you're doing the majority of the domestic work as well as taking good care of your son and seeing that he has a nice summer.

I'd just look at him and then when he's all done say no, I'm not doing that but help yourself.

Gowlett · 11/08/2026 23:28

It would be quicker for him to just do the housework than complain about it to you. But this is his sitting down & relaxing time…

InvitedWho · 11/08/2026 23:29

CocoBean22 · 11/08/2026 23:08

He says he’s been at work all day 🙄

And you’ve been hard at parenting

domesticgodmess · 11/08/2026 23:31

VivIsBlonde · 11/08/2026 23:22

Sorting out wet towels is always my priority when I get home from the beach or swimming, if left they tend to start to smell damp, so I can understand your husbands complaints

The husband probably doesn't even know about the wet towels!
I would prioritise making dinner too if they had to go out.

@CocoBean22 he has behaved like a twat today, my DH has been complaining about the house and I'm having none of it!

@endofthelinefinally you're making me nervous running appliances at night, our neighbour is a firefighter and has drummed until the whole street not to!

CocoBean22 · 11/08/2026 23:32

just feeling really pissed off.
gone to bed back to back not talking….. great 🙄

OP posts:
whippersnapper55 · 11/08/2026 23:33

I've been married 36 years and raised 5 children, not once has my DH ever come home from work and complained about the housework! If the place was a bit of a tip, he would assume that I'd had a full on busy day with the children and he'd tidy round. If I hadn't made dinner because I'd been out all day with the kids, he'd make a pile of cheese on toast or something quick for us all. It's called teamwork and your husband needs a good kick up the arse, the tosser!

endofthelinefinally · 11/08/2026 23:33

There is just me and dh at home now. We are retired and we share all tasks. He does more, tbh because I am in poor health.
I never look back and wish I had done more housework.
Time spent with your dc is infinitely more important.

Crikeyalmighty · 11/08/2026 23:34

I must admit many men seem to think that working full time totally excuses them much housework and often much childcare too - whereas no such allowances for many if not most women working full time or even a fair bit of part time and certainly if itsa SAHM - My H to be fair at 62works hard in a stressful but not physically hard job and seemed to abandon most domestic tasks. Within about 3 years of being together and we’ve been married 30 years - every now and then I ask him to do specific tasks and he will do them - but never initiates off his own back

OnlyUsername · 11/08/2026 23:36

Ah, another man who thinks the washing machine is vagina-operated.

You're right to push back. I also work part time and frankly that plus looking after DS either side of work in the school holidays is more than a full-time job.

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