There’s only one thing thriving in this weather

[FarqueueHall]

And that’s the bloody spiders.

The size of my hand.

In my house.

Bastards.

You should have seen the size of the one I saw today, fangs gnashing, willy waiting to rub itself when I’m asleep.

Huge, I tell you, they are huge.

🕷️

I was saying to DH earlier that I thought climate change had killed all the spiders - we moved into this house 1 year ago and haven’t seen a single spider.

Feeling a bit left out now, no spider willy action here whatsoever.

Adult DS is paranoid about spiders in his room (old house so we get big ones) and has point blank refused to open his bay window for years.
This summer I have put my foot down, we need to air the house in the evenings. I got some net/mesh bug screens online that Velcro onto the window frame and they have been working really well. We have them on the main panel in the lounge and one of his side windows (furthest from his bed obviously!)

My cat won’t tolerate any moving, crawling or scuttling beings in his vicinity.

He is an absolute bastard most of the time but I love him for this!

I don't mind cellar spiders as they do a good job. The big hairy spiders I will catch if possible with the spider catcher and put them out.

Funny story, we have several in the kitchen in various nooks. One was right near the fridge door, on the wall near the floor. So apparently it had gotten the idea that going into the fridge when the door was opened would be a good idea. Must've been when DP went to get a beer out of there and he didn't notice. Anyhoo, I opened the fridge the next day and out staggered the cellar spider, very hastily and unsteadily. I can only imagine what it was thinking 'let me out of this icy hell hole!!'

Dint forget the flies! The spiders are here to eat all the fly fuckers (give me a spider any day over an annoying buzzy fly). 🪰

Spiders rock !

They keep the fly population under control.

Send them my way !

I'd rather have the odd spider than the annoying little flies that zoom.out of the food waste bin every time I open it. Luckily they are quite slow so.if the spiders don't get them I usually can

Don’t tell me you leave your laundry hanging outside at night as well? 😱

Energy company profits and water company profits are also thriving

I said we’ve had fire, pestilence (Covid) and floods so all we need now is a swarm of locusts - then we found a grasshopper in the house and DS piped up that grasshoppers turn into locusts when they get together and swarm. FML everyone please make sure you never ride a horse with 3 other friends.

Well here's something I didn't know.
I googled "do spiders have willies?" and it came up with this -

https://www.livescience.com/18227-cannibalistic-spider-detachable-penis.html

Get a cat.

That sounds epic. Have you got a link or can you tell me which brand you used?

😆Love it, priceless !!

👏

Every day is a school day! Did you know that sharks have two willies too?

OMG yes! We don’t usually get them until the end of august/beginning of September when the weather turns and I saw 2 monstrously huge ones yesterday! I remember thinking they were early.

Oh no !
I wonder how Mrs Shark copes with that ?

Also @marriednotdead is your user name an oblique Caroline Stanbury reference?

One to use and one to hold on with. They don’t stop for sex so they can cover two or three miles in the process (I made that last bit up).

So now as well as being terrified of them I'm going to have to worry about them getting their (microscopic) rocks off on my foot when I'm asleep?

Great bloody great.

I’ve had three in the space of 2 weeks and I’m terrified of them! Massive black ones I only moved here in February and didn’t get them much in my old house so now I’m scared.

Agree.

I live the first floor in a flat.

Unusual to get spiders but the fuckers have moved in this summer!

And the flies ……. I feel like im fighting a losing battle with them. Oh doesn’t matter how much I clean I’m garunteed to walk into the kitchen and find a cocoon sat on the clean kitchen side just taunting me about becoming a maggot and another fly!

Yes! There was a huge one just mooching around in the bottom of my toilet last night. Why had it not died? I make no apology for flushing it away before I sat down.

Get a kitten! We got one recently and she catches and eats all the spiders, flies and moths. It’s amazing!

I don't mind the spiders. It's their webs I hate. Leaving my bedroom half asleep this morning I got a faceful of web which had been spun across the doorway overnight.🤨