How to deal with “over friendly” shop owner

[LAC350]

Here’s the thing…..I attend this shoe repair shop quite regularly - there aren’t any other shoe repair shops in my town. The thing is that the man who owns and works there has started to make me feel uncomfortable. Initially, quirky and nice, a bit of banter. But now, always very complimentary - too complimentary in fact, becoming increasingly over familiar, flirty and suggestive. Now, since having accepted a friend request on fb from him, he’s also sent me over friendly pms. The first pm, I replied with a hello and laughing emojis, and when he immediately replied to it, I left his reply unread and have also restricted the “friendship” on fb and messenger, so we don’t need to interact and he won’t be able to see any of my posts or comment on them.

AIBU - to feel uncomfortable with his manner?

AINBU - to have restricted fb and I have also now asked my husband to accompany me when I need to attend his shop?

You accepted his friend request and then proceeded to smile and laugh via emojis. Don't make him the bad guy. You have to be more upfront than this if you think he's a pest. At the moment, what else is he going to think?

Also, most people only need a shoe repair shop once every 5 years or so, so what's the real story?

OP, are you a horse?

Why? He's done absolutely nothing wrong. As I said before, stop painting him as the bad guy and take some responsibility!

Yes, this is it exactly. Yes, my husband will come with me and yes, it is very niche and there’s nowhere else for what they do

He’s creepy and leery….thats what’s wrong

I visit my Milliner every fortnight. He winked and offered to look under my bonnet 😳

You’re obviously a people pleaser.

You thought you were being friendly and doing no harm.

Reality is, he thought you were being over friendly and up for more.

You don’t like conflict and feel uncomfortable drawing back. But for your daughter’s sake as well as yours, it’s time to shut it down, You don’t have to be rude but if your husband is not with you, then you will need to put your big girls pants on and tell him that you think he has misunderstood your friendliness for flirting.

But if you thought this, why did you accept the friend request?
It would have been easy to reject it and if he brought it up in the shop to say you any keep family and close friends on social media and not acquaintances.

I think adding him as a friend has changed the dynamic.

Yes, with hindsight m sure you’re right ….. my mistake

I voted YABU as you accepted his FB request knowing how he is then complaining about it.

🎼"The boy that I love, they call 'im a cobbler - but 'e's no cobbler: allow me to state..." 🎼

Why did you accept the friend request. It’s giving out mixed signals

What? FFS.

This forum is being ruined by posts like this.

Unfriend him on FB! And be a bit brusque when you're in the shop. Don't need to be rude just business-like.

Honestly don’t stress. Remove his from your FB and be less friendly, if he asks you what’s going on, tell him he gives you the creeps. He should get the hint.

Absolutely this!

Perfectly grammatical though. I didn"t give it a thought.

I completely agree.

I’m just baffled that you attend a shoe repair shop so often.

Perhaps they are a family clog dancing troupe.

Well given it's been established we're talking about a man, no one is "pretending" by using a gender neutral term, are they?

Come on; think that one through.

Is this you, @LAC350 ?

@CalmTheFuckDownMargaret "baffled that you aren't a horse yet you need so many repairing"

😂😂😂

Also @DeanGaffneysCumFace the mental image your name provokes is....quite a thing. I truly wrestled with it, tried to stop it entering my mind's eye, but failed 😂 Have you seen it? I must know

You’re absolutely spot on! I guess I’ll just have to “grow a pair” and make my position clear

I wouldn't buckle under pressure from him.

Tighten your boot straps and put your best foot forward.

I think I have visited a cobblers once in the last 10 years!