How to deal with “over friendly” shop owner

[LAC350]

Here’s the thing…..I attend this shoe repair shop quite regularly - there aren’t any other shoe repair shops in my town. The thing is that the man who owns and works there has started to make me feel uncomfortable. Initially, quirky and nice, a bit of banter. But now, always very complimentary - too complimentary in fact, becoming increasingly over familiar, flirty and suggestive. Now, since having accepted a friend request on fb from him, he’s also sent me over friendly pms. The first pm, I replied with a hello and laughing emojis, and when he immediately replied to it, I left his reply unread and have also restricted the “friendship” on fb and messenger, so we don’t need to interact and he won’t be able to see any of my posts or comment on them.

AIBU - to feel uncomfortable with his manner?

AINBU - to have restricted fb and I have also now asked my husband to accompany me when I need to attend his shop?

How often do your shoes need repairing??

Just don’t respond on social media and ask your husband if he can take your shoes for repair from now on. Shouldn’t take too long for him to realise you aren’t interested.

I think he must think you go in there to see him. I havent been to a shoe repair shop for shoes since I was a small child. The only reason I used to go to one every few years is because they also cut keys.

when you say you attend the shoe repair shop regularly, how regularly do you mean? Surely you can't need a cobbler more than once or twice a year. Just go in there with a bitch face and shut down any stupid or flirtatious comments.

And stop taking friend requests from your cobbler/butcher/baker - they're not your friends they're people providing a paid for service.

You're not a passenger in your own life you know, you didn't have to accept the request 😳

And how many shoes do you need mended that means you're going to see him more than a couple of times per year?

Just unfriend him and think harder in the future about who you accept.

Just go barefoot

Completely remove him from fb not just restrict him.

as others have asked, how is this a regular visit.
send dh in with the shoes alone to get repaired, doesn’t need to be the pair of you.

Cobblers!

Buy new shoes. Buy a pair for every day of the week and when they wear out, buy new ones.

I don't think the guy is a shoe repairer...but the op thinks it's "outing" to be honest that's it's actually a fetish shop.

Now I do use my local cobbler, he's a long time friend but even me who owns and regularly wears about 20 pairs of shoes don't go in more than twice a year

What on earth are you doing to your shoes that means they need repairing regularly? Shoe repairs last years!

I cannot understand accepting a friend request from a cobbler who is someone who is neither family nor friend. You gave him access to your private life and then wonder why he’s not behaving like a shop owner to a customer! Unfriend and get your husband to take in shoes. Baffled that you aren’t a horse yet need so many repairing.

Tbh it's not unreasonable to visit a proper cobbler multiple times a year, or even on occasion in a month. I wear leather soled shoes for dancing and they need regular upkeep, ditto kitten/ stiletto shoes, add in some of DH's shoes and it quickly becomes a regular thing!
Accepting his FB friends request was probably a mistake OP, I'd mute/ restrict his access (no longer on FB so whatever the up to date equivalent is) and try to hoard your shoes that need repairs for as long as possible to distance yourself from him...

This. He thinks you like him too. And with good reason!

1. Unfriend him on facebook
2. Buy whatever your buying online

This is so weird. I literally go to my cobblers once or twice a year

there’s no reason to go so much

Why did you add him?
Buy cheaper shoes so they’re not worth repairing.

What the fuck are you doing in your shoes that results in such a frequent need to go to the cobblers?

You accepted a friend request from him and now wonder why he's being friendly?

Unless you’re a centipede there’s no reason to be in a cobblers so often and I’m not buying that there isn’t another near by. Plenty of supermarkets like Asda and Sainsbury’s have a little Timpsons shed in their car parks.

Why did you accept the friend request if he makes you feel so uneasy? I would have ignored it and had he of mentioned it the next time I saw him, I’d just say I don’t go on it and hadn’t seen the request.

YANBU to be creeped out.

I would just be icily polite.

My local shoe repair shop quoted me £60
to change a heel and sole so I never went back and thise boots are just sitting there.

How often can you possibly go to a cobblers?!

I know some of us are people pleasers but you really shouldn't have accepted his friend request. He also now has access to your information and photos. Please remove him from your facebook fast and never mind any manners.

Then either be polite but quiet next time in his shop, no response to banter or just ask your hubby to drop the shoes off.

It’s not a shoe repair shop is it?

Say your husband/wife is getting impatient waiting for you, and you need to run/my boy/girlfriend isn't happy about me messaging online

I mean, how many times does anyone need to go into a shoe repair shop? 😂

How many times have you been in, in total, would you say?

Yeah just ignore him on sm and be polite if you do go in again!