Stepchild wants to see finances and money spent on his stepsiblings.

[Greenhairedmonstor]

My late FiL who I never met, left school at 15, fell into the right crowd while he was doing a labouring job and ended up with a little empire.

There is something in place that is not quite a trust. It allows SiL to choose to live frugally without working, and has enabled my husband and his brothers an income which supplements their incomes.

Their children will benefit after their parents’ deaths when whatever is in place will be dissolved.

My husband has his own business as well.

My stepchild is 18 and will go to university next month. I also have another stepchild who is 13.

The eldest has asked that now that they are an adult that they want to look at my husband’s finances. Essentially they want an account of any money that is spent on my children and they wanted my husband’s estate to be reimbursed from my share of the house when he dies.

Now Mumsnet always asks, no I was not the other woman, my ex meets more than his share of his financial responsibilities and I also work and rent out a house that I own in my home country that I will eventually return to. Husband’s ex is comfortable and I don’t believe this has come from her.

Inevitably my husband subsidises our life.

This has been a bitter blow to my husband and he doesn’t see how his relationship with his child(ren) will recover.

Suggest the entitled little arse familarises himself with Arkell vs Presdram, in particular Presdram's response.

What a rude and entitled SS. Your DH’s income, regardless of source, can be spent anyway he wishes. He could loose it all in a casino every month, if he wanted to. Maybe SS doesn’t fully understand how the inheritance works and your DH needs to explain the asset that will be sold in the future and that the income received from that doesn’t impact his inheritance.

OP, OP's skiing child and that child's father are money-grabbing scrotes, no, for taking money to pay for a child that is not the SS's father's child? Why are they all fine to benefit from the SS's father, but the SS is not?

This is so typical of blended family crap and it's always the first family that miss out.

So basically your SS has no legal right to see your ‘finances’ or to insist on any form of reimbursement on money spent from your own assets after your DH passes ? If the assets will be sold and he will benefit from a part share of the sale proceeds, the income they are generating now is nothing to do with him - I would be questioning why he thinks otherwise . I would make sure that you both have watertight wills too, because he sounds a grabby little fucker. I’d tell him to whistle.

Exactly.

All the second marriage posters clamouring that the stepkids should get screwed over.

Step families are rarely happy units.

This thread is sickening.

The Little Scrote's Father's finances are none of his business.

Absolutely.

‘Blended families are such bullshit.

Your husband needs to tell their child to FO.

Has it been carefully explained to the young man how the assets and money have been left? Now that he is 18 he could know the legal obligations. Show him a copy of the will the will. Maybe he has misunderstood things. Any other teens could learn as well.

I actually cannot believe the nerve of the SC to seek some form of entitlement to what is essentially his father’s finances. People will blame this on “blended family” BS because Mumsnet is very weird towards people divorcing and moving on. But yes some of your husband’s money will be spent on his current household. It’s absolutely non of the son’s business how his father’s income is spent unless the the son was missing out.

The father should simply say any money spent on the current household is from his income and any on his elder son was from the inheritance.

I would also question how I managed to raise such a disrespectful child.

Exactly!

This, this, THIS!

Essentially they want an account of any money that is spent on my children and they wanted my husband’s estate to be reimbursed from my share of the house when he dies.

The absolute nerve!!!!

Your husband should tell him he'll get something when he dies, but if he raises it again he will make large gifts to your kids before he dies and will leave them his business, all of which is his right.

This. big time! I spent more years than I care to remember working in trust and probate, and there was almost always one utter pillock in the mix. In fact I only remember one case where there wasn't. If he is really as stupid as he sounds, then he needs to get himself a dodgy solicitor to pursue this at enormous cost (to himself).

In a nutshell, having a life interest means that you (and any other beneficiaries with a life interest) get the income from the assets during your lifetime. This is yours to spend on gin, loose women and gambling. You do not benefit from any capital gains.

He needs a good kick in the goolies.

Horrible way to weaponise money against your own child and pit him against step children. He'll deserve to lose his relationship with his son if he does this.

He's older and wiser and should act like it.

So the grandfather has been dead we don't know how long, but the 3 years married OP never met him. He had conversations with a now 18 year old about his expectations for his adult son's future relationship patterns and inheritances, at some point between babyhood and 15. And despite being bothered enough to relay all this information to a child who could've still been in primary school at the time, he didn't use any of his ample resources to pay lawyers to ensure his estate and trusts actually reflected what he wanted.

It doesn't sound especially likely, I'm going to be honest.

I know you're not the only one, but why are people being so venomous and vicious towards an 18 year old who almost certainly has some kind of back story going on? Kick him in the goolies, little scrote, little shit, little turd, cut him off completely, give it all to the stepkids, I haven't even covered the half of it. The rage and spite displayed in this turd of a thread are completely out of all proportion, especially in a site that usually cares about children even if they have just become legal adults five minutes ago. It's completely nuts. The level of hatred is absolutely beyond what the kid is doing.

Yeah, as above. I'd say the kid is confused. He possibly doesn't understand how a 3 year marriage trumps his 18 years as this man's child.

There's also the slightly weird thing of why not show him the finances? If the guy isn't prioritising someone else's family over his own then it's not a problem. The outrage at being asked by a naive kid seems somewhat disproportionate.

It really is stomach-churning.

I can only think it is women defending their own position on the lookout for a man who inherited from his dc's grandfather so that they can reroute to their own dc money generated by the grandfather of someone else's dc.

But somehow it's the kid at fault - as ever in these threads. The vitriol is, as you say, out of all proportion.

Bullseye.

Tell the nosey so and so that your DH's financial details are private and confidential, are protected by GDPR legislation and under no circumstances will this sensitive information be made available to them.......That this is none negotiable.

......And then tell them to take a long walk off a short pier with their unhinged demands

Jesus Christ......Their sense of entitlement is mind blowing.

There is no legal obligation to leave anything to your children.

I wondered that. It's totally crazy. As several PPs have said, this is not the kind of thing the average 18 year old comes up with, which makes me think there must be something going on; OP denies the son is being put up to it by his mother (how would she know?) but even if not, there's obviously something complex going on here. Even if it is the worst possible reason and he really is just entirely driven by wanting as much inheritance as possible, it still doesn't justify people baying for this teenager's blood like this. It's deranged. He is motivated, at worst, by being very young and concerned for his inheritance as his father has remarried. What is motivating the much older adults who can't fling enough shit at this kid they don't know?