AIBU not to take DS2 to a family party?

[Robin781]

DS2 is 9mo. Hardly any of my extended family have been to visit us/see him since he was born. When DS1 was 4mo, we had a ‘welcome to the world’ type party at our expense, where close friends, immediate and extended family were invited for a full meal and met DS1. However, a lot of the same friends and family also came home to visit us and meet him before or after. We are attending a ‘big birthday’ party next weekend for an extended family member. AIBU to not want to take DS2 to this - for extended family to meet him for the first time - when they haven’t made the effort to check in or come and see us after he was born? No backstory, it just feels like people just haven’t made the effort. We have made the effort to visit elderly relatives with him who may not have been able to come and see us otherwise.

I don't really understand why you wouldn't take him.
You haven't held a "welcome to the world" party for DS2. Have you invited the friends and family to come separately? Have they sent the usual congratulations cards and gifts?
You seem to be suggesting that they don't "deserve" to get the chance to meet him because they haven't made an effort to visit you. That seems a bit petty. It's a family party, you're invited, go along and be gracious and introduce your baby to your extended family.
See it as a bonus that you don't need to fork out for the catering etc for this one.

YABU and the fact that you have grandparents willing to babysit shows why you find it easy to complain about other family members that aren't interested and are choosing to withhold the baby from them. It's a family party, take both of your kids, don't weaponise one of them

Stop being mean and precious.

since you say the DGPs would look after him, how extended is the family among whom you’ll be mingling, if they are not included

I'm guessing other side of the family.

OP that would be petty and ridiculous.

So you had a welcome to the world for your first but not your second and you're cross with other people for being inconsistent? Hypocritical much? Maybe they knew this milestone was coming and they were waiting to meet him then? It will look poor to prevent him from meeting extended family from your husband's side while letting him spend time with your parents - because that's the scenario that you're outlining here isn't it? What does your husband think of your pettiness?

Sounds ridiculous op. People honestly have lives, work, illnesses, kids, other family stuff, do you not remember yourself a time you couldn’t make it to something? Grudges are ridiculous and you’re going to be back on in a few years wondering why your family as nd friends aren’t in contact

Why didn't you do a big "welcome to the world" party and meal for your second child? It seems your family have followed your lead. I don't think your extended family are going to realise they are being chastised by you not bringing DS2 to someone else's party.

What? Don’t bring a 9 month old to a family birthday party in case they pull focus? 🤣

Petty
sour grapes 🍇
transactional relationship
shooting self in the foot

go, if you want, but don’t sulk about the no visit situation

Seems ridiculously petty. I don't go to meet babies because I have no interest in meeting babies. I've been to visit nobody in my family or amongst my friends to meet their babies. If I noticed someone didn't bring their baby to a party my only reaction really would be a positive one because it gets on my nerves when people bring children to what are typically adult events.

Welcome to the world party?! Have heard it all now. It’s not the second coming of the messiah for either of your offspring.

Also, what fresh fucking hell is a welcome to the world party? And why to fucking god do you make a point of saying you held it at your expense? Of course it's at your expense. Or do you think your friends and family should be so eager/desperate to meet your baby that they'd gladly pay for the privilege?

@Robin781 If you want to bring him then do, if not don't. I doubt anyone will care either way so don't overthink and try to make a statement that noone will get.

Petty. Immature. Nobody will notice or care.

Good lord OP, seriously?

Your baby is important to you, but he's not the Messiah.

He's just another family baby to them which is nice, but not essential they meet him.

Or you could attend but make him wear a blanket on his head at all times.

It was good enough for Michael Jackson.

Maybe they’ve been waiting for you to have a party for DS2 like you did for DS1?

I honestly don’t understand the thought process behind leaving him at home and you all attending a party? He’s 9 months, won’t have a clue what’s going on, family will think you’re being weird and DS1 will be confused why is brother isn’t coming…

Doubt anyone would be bothered and if they ask where he is what are you going to say "we didnt bring him because no one came to see him when he was born?"

Don’t take a 9mo baby because it’s easier not too and you can relax more.

But it’s extremely petty to leave your baby to spite others.

No one is ever as interested in your children as you are. You’re in for a difficult life if you expect differently.

Please do this and report back!

Very petty. People are busy and you really have no idea what their priorities are. It is not always about younim afraid

🤣

For goodness sake, grow up!

Your child is not the centre of everyone's universe.

Sorry but the world doesn’t revolve around your children.

This is right up there for the pettiest behaviour I've seen on Mumsnet. I can only hope they it's a troll, rather than a person who actually thinks this way.