AIBU not to take DS2 to a family party?

[Robin781]

DS2 is 9mo. Hardly any of my extended family have been to visit us/see him since he was born. When DS1 was 4mo, we had a ‘welcome to the world’ type party at our expense, where close friends, immediate and extended family were invited for a full meal and met DS1. However, a lot of the same friends and family also came home to visit us and meet him before or after. We are attending a ‘big birthday’ party next weekend for an extended family member. AIBU to not want to take DS2 to this - for extended family to meet him for the first time - when they haven’t made the effort to check in or come and see us after he was born? No backstory, it just feels like people just haven’t made the effort. We have made the effort to visit elderly relatives with him who may not have been able to come and see us otherwise.

It’s a second baby it’s no big whoop this time.

You also didn’t throw a party yourself for your own second. Maybe you should judge your own preference for your first as well.

If you dont want to take him because its hard to do the journey with a baby or something similar - absolutely fine

Not taking him to punish people for not being interested in him - proper weird. No one is obliged to be interested in your child!

What would you say when you got there and people asked where he was, out of interest?

In all honesty, no-one will particularly care if you bring your DS to the party or not. Some might say they were looking forward to meeting him but in reality, it’s not going to upset them at all if he’s not there. They won’t actually care.

Most of my extended family (excluding siblings and their families) met our children when we held their individual christenings. We never took any of them to visit elderly relatives as such. Extended family would have met our children at family gatherings. I think that’s pretty much the same for most people.

Oh gosh, I hope you are not my niece! I haven't had a chance to see her new babe yet (it's been about 5 months) because I don't live so near. But her mum is hosting a family party in a couple of weeks and niece and baby will be there. Please don't cancel! I am soooo excited to see baby! (And v grateful to her mum for hosting as we are equi-distant). I'm sorry I didn't rush over before. I work and have kids also and I have loved the whatsapp pics, thank you!

Imagine the OP telling them that they didn’t bring him because none of them bothered to come and see him as a newborn. Imagine all the stifled smiles and giggles from the other guests and how they quickly slink away from the OP.

Are you a child OP? Because you sound quite immature.

That seems a bit petty and I’m not sure people will even get the point you’re trying to make.

Have you invited any extended family round to meet your second child? Most people would wait for an invite rather than invite themselves surely?

You said you had a party for your first born, maybe they’re all wondering why you haven’t done that again and think you want to be left alone.

Oh, and well done for hosting a party 'at your expense'. So rare to find these days. I'm fed up of people charging me to attend their gatherings. So infra dig 😏

(Come on, OP. Chin up!)

Sounds rather petty!!

No - the OP clearly says it’s her own extended family that hasn’t met her baby.

OP very weird petty behaviour. Why didn’t you throw a “welcome to the world” party for your poor second born?

we had a ‘welcome to the world’ type party at our expense

Who else should pay for your party do you think? This is all insane.

As a family you have been invited to a family party. Either go or don't. I don't see the point of leaving one DC at home. Who are you trying to punish?

Don’t know. Have they said they want to see him?

And why does she even think it’s a punishment?

Don't be weird.

Of course the party would be at your expense why wouldn't of it been? Weird and petty behaviour you're acting as if your the royal family.

Exactly. Sorry to be harsh but apart from extremely close friends and family most people don’t give a shit about other people’s kids.

Why would you think anyone would care about not meeting another baby?

Well maybe if you'd thrown a "welcome to the world" party (at your own expense of course), then they would have met your 2nd born. Why didn't you?

You are a grown woman, OP! Get a grip. Of course YABU

I have a feeling OP won’t be back.

People don’t want to see your baby so you’re going to get revenge by….not letting them see your baby.

Score!

This takes the meaning of ‘petty’ to a whole new level. 😆😆

Seems like a great opportunity for a lot of extended family to catch up and meet him. No expense to you. Time flies, people are busy. Also it's someone else's birthday party not about meeting baby. If it's difficult to attend with a baby and you have childcare that's a different thing, but most people will like to see you and the new addition (in most scenarios). Win win

He'll probably steal the show so maybe you shouldn't take him. Let the birthday person have their party. Have you're own party for your second child like you did for your first. Why did you treat this one differently?

9 month old babies dont bring much to a party so Id be ok with it . Unless he’s going to rock up
with a case of Stella and and some sizzle steaks ?