Whats the point of consent and asking permission if you get lied to

[MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe]

Whats the point of consent and permission ? friends meal and they cover the cost, they said here is x amount get what you want, so permission is asked what the limit is eg £20 and i can get whatever food / takeaway with it, the yes permission is given that i can buy what i want within the budget.

turns out a day or two after wards a sarcastic comment was made because i had 2 jacket potatoes with different toppings, so i said why is that an issue and it turns out that they still thought id get one instead of two ,

so i said i asked permission of what the budget was and i did ask what i could get then all i got was oh id still thought you would get 1 so i said why then say i can get x why not just say and be honest.

i guess this is more me moaning but why do people do this, say yes to x then they actually want you do to x instead its like why ?

before anyone asks we usually do a weekly meal out, and no they are fairly wealthy

Would you have ordered 2 dinners at once if you were paying? Would you have turned a hair if they’d ordered 2 dinners and you were paying?

If I was paying for dinner and someone ordered 2 mains I’d be I think most people would be.

I suggest that before you meet next time you draw up a contract and get your friend to sign it so that there can be no misunderstandings

You were greedy and rude and took advantage YABU.

Maybe not the point but I bet the fish and chips cost more than two baked potatoes.

but from my view if its under budget and i did ask can i get what i want etc ?

about £12 to the £7 for the 2 potatoes

'Have what you want' means 'Order whichever meal you want.' It doesn't mean 'Order food up to the £20 limit I have given you.'

That's what i want to know. If the OP were paying, which let's face it is never going to happen, would she be happy if the other person ordered a lasagna and a chicken burger. I doubt it.

personally i like that idea, because the times people say x then say y ect its like sheldon cooper from big bang and the agreements he has

They isn't a concrete answer. You play it by ear and don't act gready.
Pay your own meals and things are sorted.

Quite. And could be more calories, most fish suppers would feed 2/3 people generously.

She was paying for everything, so it doesn't matter what hers cost.

if they said whats the budget and can they order what they want under that budget then my answer would be yes, even if they had 2 main meals

what i didnt understand is why they said order what you want and the budget is x and when i did they then moaned because it was 2 poatoes rathe than one

Hold on, whenever I have seen jacket potatoes with toppings sold THEY ARE ENORMOUS - and I’m not talking Mumsnet magic chicken thinking here, normal people, normal appetites, one potato is more than enough.

how much did you order/eat? That sounds totally greedy and gluttonous

why don’t you pay for your own food if you eat that much.

why don’t you pay for your friend from time to time?

Sorry but I think that’s really rude. I’ve had friends do similar and cut them off pronto.

Why aren’t you ordering your own meal? If I am getting treated to a meal, I make sure to order one of the cheapest options.

You really needed to put this tosh through AI to educate us all on the calorific value of a baked potato?

but then i should not have to second guess their answers

I'll go against the grain here but I think if you had both jacket potatoes at that dinner (Ie you didn't use them sort out another meal) then I don't think what you did was so bad if it was under budget. If you'd ordered one jacket potato and two sides would that have been better? You were hungry and ordered something to fill you up. There are times I could eat two jacket potatoes probably especially if I don't eat the skin.

I think the bigger issue is that they are treating you every week. Why do you accept that? If nothing else it makes you indebted and obligated to them. Either return the favour and insist on returning the favour regularly or just pay for your own every time. Then you can order what you want and no one needs to feel guilty or resentful.

Of course it's not the point, the person buying can have whatever they like, it's their money.

Either OP is having massive fun taking the P, or she is neurodivergent and I sympathise with her.

I also think that, if you give someone a budget and the lt stick to it, you should just pay up graciously and not comment on what they order, even if you think it odd and/or greedy.

If you really aren’t happy, you make sure to split it next time.

fair points, i guess they just like the social aspects of saying they brought dinner etc

OK, think of it this way. There is a price limit for lunch. Lunch is one plate of food.

You got two. She would have been happier with a more expensive one plate, as that is lunch.

But they’re the same thing surely?

Have what you want….up to £20.

If the person wishes to police what the OP has chosen to eat for £20, they’re the one’s who are being stunningly rude!!

It’s no different to a MIL serving one potato to the DIL whilst giving her son 2-3 potatoes.

The OP has confirmed that she ate both potatoes with toppings as a single meal whilst friend ate fish & chips. Probably around the same calorie content. Nothing greedy whatsoever.

I think friend seems rather snidey and seems to think OP should eat a mini portion, whilst she gets to scoff a full meal. 🤔

In OP’s shoes, as she’d offered to pay but friend refused, I’d deliberately order masses of food next time and then leave half of it on the plate.

Friend can fuck off with her portion control twattery!

i take answers like sheldon cooper does from big bang theory, if i ask do i have permission to do x and they say i can then i dont want to waste time second guessing, its not my fault people say x but mean y etc

Oh ffs, just pay for your own going forward! You're an adult - even if they were your parents all this nonsense you’re spouting would be ridiculous.