AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

[UnhealthierWhy]

This is not our problem ???

We are on holiday currently with our 2 dc (2 and 4) (Disney Paris) due back home on Wednesday. Dh has 2 older dc from previous marriage (6 and 8).

He gave his ex money for holiday childcare which she ‘forgot’ to book the first week so I had to look after dc which was fine as dh had work. Next week her mum was going to have the dc but is now unwell. She is telling dh he needs to come home early to have the dc as she can’t take the time off.

She is constantly messaging and calling and we are considering just turning our phones off if she continues pestering us this way.

This seems to be a regular thing with her not arranging childcare and then expecting us to rescue the situation which we try to accomodate if we can but this is the first time we’ve said no.

But they have another parent, who already has time off work. Their father.

Would they though ..?

Phones on silent in the bottom of a bag doesn’t scream responsible father.

Well the other choice, is the man doesn't go on holiday with his younger child.

I book and pay for the trips with my child that I want to go on because it suits them, and my teenage SC would not want to go on these trips anyway. DH has the choice and free will not to come if his children are going to be offended (which, they never are) but then he would miss out on spending that time with his youngest.

But I suppose that is okay, because we are the second family and we don't count for anything at all.

No I didn't, but thanks for your ever so valuable input.

We do know he is irresponsible he has 4 children, 8,6,4,2 between two mothers. That’s the definition of irresponsible.
If the ex wife had another two babies by a different man she would be irresponsible too, but she didn’t. He made that decision. Selfish.

I wouldn’t ever feel guilty about going on holiday without my step kids. They aren’t my children. In fact i would probably be delighted!!

but my word… I would feel guilty, upset and generally felt like I was missing something - if I didn’t go on holiday with my 6 and 8 year old as well as my other two.

But clearly many are better people than me and easily able to think of their step children as their own

I know I’d be a shit SM hence why I never will be

I would tread over a step child to reach my own child on the event of an emergency!

What i said isnt bullying.
And i stand by it.

It's really not, you want to believe that without all the facts because it's easy for you to judge and put people down.

I don't have to agree with you as much as you don't have to agree with me, so not sure why you're so bothered.

You don’t have step children. It’s easy to say when it’s not your reality. I used to think it was funny that people felt guilty leaving their dogs behind until they had my own. Now I hate leaving her behind.

The facts are in the numbers, ages in this case.
If OP is to be believed that the ex is flaky and unorganised, then he has done a disservice by his children (first set).
They should have been the priority not making another two.

We will agree to disagree.

What has she done with the money your husband have her? He should ask for that back.

I think it’s more to do with the fact the guy decided to get his new girlfriend pregnant when he had two toddlers with his ex. Four kids by two women in the space of 6 years is crazy behaviour. OP is a bit weird to think a man with two toddlers is an exciting prospect, but then to get pregnant almost straight away by him too…

Maybe they go another time with their dad. Really not relevant to this situation.

It’s only sad if he never takes them on holiday. He took them himself to Disney earlier in the year.

This is peak wild Mumsnet, probably the worst i've seen it!!

People cant read, or rather, don't want to because it doesn't fit their narrative.

He only has them 10 nights a month BECAUSE THE EX MOVED AWAY

Yes, pregnant women do cheat, i have an ex best friend that did exactly that, then lied saying her husband was the father until he saw something on her phone when the baby was 6 months old and he demanded DNA. Wasn't his, so he left.

The father is not obligated to take all of his children on every holiday every time. They have already had an abroad holiday this year and also have been to Disney with him last year. To say he isn't a great father because of that is insane.

How any of that is remotely relevant to what the OP's post was about is mad anyway!

The men and step mother bashing on MN is totally wild.

Do your step-kids never get one to one time with their parent? Are you and your kids there all the time? Poor step-kids.

It took you a long time to come out and just say this. It's crystal clear that you and a lot of mothers on this thread think YOUR children are all that matters. Same mindset as the mother of the older kids in the OP.

And he is in another country, so not available.

She also has her bf.

Stepmum covered a week of childcare for her, so maybe it's his turn to reciprocate?

The XW had an affair whilst pregnant with baby #2, so that marriage broke down.

XW moved 3 hours away.

DH met new partner, she became pregnant after a year. We have no idea of the circumstances of that.

Who has been irresponsible?

Possibly the XW by sleeping with another man whilst pregnant?

DH might have 2 more children, but seems very committed to all of them and generally doing a great job with them.

He's got a six year old with her and a four year old with you?

Damn he moved on fast.Was there any overlap?

That is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve read on Mumsnet

Do you take everything that you read on here as face value?
The Ex had the affair yet there is stepping stones between the children.
It’s a very unlikely scenario, unless they are a rabbit.
He has the children weekends and holidays not around his working week. I wouldn’t call him very committed, then he spends the weekend with 4 little ones. Sounds like he’s chasing his tail.

The OP says the romantic relationship started after the pregnant 1st wife had left her husband so she could be with her shag buddy. Whether that was before or after the paternity test was carried out to determine the daddy I don't know. But if you want to bash people who have affairs better start off with the first wife!

People standards here are rediculous.