AIBU - The Baby Bath Incident

[ExhaustedRaccoon]

SIL and I both have toddlers of a similar age ( only 3 months age difference) and I also have an 8 week old.

When the grandchildren were born, MIL bought lots of lovely baby things for us to share ( MIL lives abroad close to SIL and we are in the UK).

DP and I are currently on holiday and staying with MIL and DC. DS 2 ( the youngest ) has had severe colic and reflux and during the wee small hours of searching the internet, I read a nice warm bath before bed can sometimes relax the baby. At this point, I am willing to try anything. MIL only has a shower and a sit on things for the baby borrowed from SIL.

I remembered about the lovely bath with a pillow MIL purchased and asked where it was. She said SIL had borrowed it. MIL messaged SIL to ask if she could bring it back please. SIL said no, she still uses it. MIL explained our colic situation and how we are all incredibly sleep deprived and also how she is the one who bought the baby bath and she still refused to bring it back ( we are only here for two weeks so she would get it back!) she suggested we buy our own.

SIL has just moved house and has a lovely big bath in her second bathroom she could use for DN.

DP got a bit annoyed and messaged SIL saying he will come to pick it up himself and they ended up having an argument about it.

AIBU to think SIL is being incredibly unreasonable and childish about a bloody baby bath? Children’s things are not cheap here and we will only be using it for two weeks to try an ease a bit of pain for our DS2 which she clearly doesn’t care about!

I’m sorry but I’m not washing my 8 week in a sink, where he will become slippery with the water and possibly aggravate any colic/reflux he has. I’d rather be safe and use the correct apparatus that are made for babies!

Entire generations have bathed their babies - including colicy ones - in sinks. Stop being such a princess. Honestly.

I'm on SIL's side. What a dramatic OP.

Came to say the same!

8 weeks you say? Surely there’s something else in the house you can use to bathe the baby?

Such drama over nothing.

Why are you all squabbling over a plastic bath that costs a few pounds? How do you cope at home op.
I have had two babies with severe colic and reflux and we just used a normal bathtub and held baby upright. Get in the bath yourself and hold baby upright, or have a shower holding the baby. It’s all a bit ridiculous now.

If there's a bath at MIL, get in the bath with your child?
I haven't personally experienced it, but some people use chiropractors to help babies who are fractious. Or a craniosacral osteopath.
I would ignore SIL for now, sounds like she may be put out that your little family is getting her little family's attention.

We had one of these. It’s a bucket. Get a bucket tummytuboriginal.com/en/?srsltid=AfmBOopdc75evK6q8O1sj-cVABOMtuidlbZQjg2oq8oqpK5ZdCKdyxZf

what about a small blow up paddling pool. You could used some rolled up towels to support?

sometimes women make me despair they are SO unreasonable, fixated and determined to knock each other down. I mean you OP.

This reminds me of when me and my cousin fell out.

My cousin invited me to stay at hers for the weekend. I lived far away. She was a single mother with a toddler. I travelled a very long way to see her. When I got there, she seemed to think that everything I did was intended to harm her child in some way.

My cousin asked me to sleep on her couch. It was a two bedroom house. She didnt want me to sleep in one of the bedrooms as she hadnt tidied it. She slept in the other bedroom with her daughter.

The next morning I woke up at 9.00. I was tired from the very long travel to get there. My cousin came in (with her mother who she had called to come over) and screamed at me for sleeping in so long. She said that they had both been up since 6.00 and I was stopping her toddler daughter from using her toys in the living room.

She had asked me to sleep in the living room and I assumed that she would just come in, in the morning whenever she needed to come in.

My cousin then involved her mother , father and siblings in the argument. They all stopped talking to me after this. My cousin said to me 'I can pass over some of the things that you did but I can't ever forgive you for making me shout at you in front of my child'. Me and my cousin never spoke again. It was horrible

Reading this, I still think it was completely crazy! Maybe it is postnatal depression in some mothers, but some of them seem to become completely unreasonable

Your SIL is a greedy nasty B

I wonder if OP's SIL is jealous and being deliberately obstructive because OP has a new baby that is taking her mum's attention away from her and her two year old.

I very much doubt that SIL is still using a baby bath for a two-year old child when she has a proper bath. Most people stop using a baby bath when their baby is between 6 and 12 months old and can sit up safely on their own.

It's really horrible when tiny babies are screaming in pain and it's even worse when it happens when you aren't in your own home with your own stuff.

Put the plug in the sink and use that. Fancy baths! What the hell. Use the B..... sink. If you think baby will be better with something soft in the bottom use a towel(s).

You are both like a pair of 2year olds fighting over a dolly.

Anytime we’ve gone overseas with little kids or hosted family with kids we’ve gone above and beyond trying to smooth the way - SIL is being nasty. If she gave it away or really can’t part with it, she should be calling her friends and finding something! We’ve been lent car seats, everything! I suspect that’s what MIL was trying to do - be a grandma house with everything you need for an easy visit so you come back often.

for a slippery sink you can line it with towels. Lots more work to dry and wash everything but can be worth it.

Baby baths are a modern (unnecessary) invention but colic has been a problem forever. You’re choosing not to try an alternative solution and have become fixated on a silly baby bath.

It would appear that you’re equally as stubborn as SIL and you’re trying to build a wedge between MIL and your SIL. Why?

I haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if this has already been said, but maybe it's the case the SIL has sold the baby bath now, and she doesn't want to admit it to her mother.

wtf does she still need a baby bath for a 3 year old. Once mine could sit in a bath seat they went in the big bath. I’m guessing she doesn’t even use it for DN anymore but DN uses it to bath her dollies or she’s flogged it. That’s the only logical explanation I can think of. Just use the kitchen sink and put a towel in it if she’s just going to carry on being a brat about it.

From the very first post:

MIL only has a shower

No 😂 what you’ve said way too literal, it’s simply the principle, ‘to share’ is proving to be unworkable.
What I’d do is buy a washing up bowl as a cheap alternative, or just use the sink.

Has SIL definitely still got the bath? Maybe she sold it / gave it away and is trying to hide the fact.

Which she has at home.

Surely you can improvise. Use a bucket or the sink. Baby wont know.

Not pleased with myself just honest. It's ridiculous making such a fuss about such a minor issue when there are simple solutions.
I don't know how some people on here would cope if there was a real issue in their life.

I think SIL has chucked the bath and is too embarrassed to say so…

The only thing that helped when our little one had colic was colief. Tiny little bottle of magic drops.

Forget the bath and go to the chemist and get Infacol , suitable for 8 week old and will give baby huge relief . The bath thing will blow over it sounds like you are all running on little sleep so things seems a lot worse