How long do I let him drift?

[PoliteSquid]

My DS is 18, suspected ND and waiting (4 years so far…) for an appointment. He was at college, hated it but performing well. Got offered a great f/t job and left college 4 months early, didn’t complete the course. Job let him go after a month because he “wasn’t a team player”

We are now into month 6. My own job is quite a senior one in the careers sector… my background is supporting people like DS. But I’m mum to him and therefore clueless and a nag.

How long does this go on for? He gets a bit of UC but doesn’t give a shit about finding work. Please don’t tell me to kick him out because I never will. What can I do to help him or motivate him?! I’m at a loss.

Sorry - edited to add he apparently wants an engineering job or apprenticeship.

My similar situation, though a bit further along- resat year 2 of uni, but didn’t succeed so came home- I encouraged him to apply for jobs. He was a Know-how chap in a tech store, then an apprentice IT chap at a firm. When his manager left he took over. And he’s been doing well there ever since. He learns, he performs, he takes responsibility etc.

But he needs to get into work and learn the hard way what does and doesn’t fly.

Can he go back to college in Sept and repeat the second year?
Or do something different?

The course he didn’t finish was a L3 BTEC and the college no longer offers it since it was defunded. He’s too old to start the T level because he’ll be 20 before it finishes.

It breaks my heart to see my bright intelligent boy slipping into long term unemployment - it seems such a waste! But as I said, he couldn’t care less!!!

How long does this go on for ..... I guess it continues until you stop enabling him. If supporting young adults is your background, why aren't you using your expertise to help your son?? Do you charge him rent etc, hes getting UC so some of that should be paid towards his house keeping.