This may be long but don't want to drip feed
My DS is 17. He’s 18 right at the end of the month. It's been a hard few years with him
He always struggled in school and was eventually diagnosed with dyslexia and dyscalculia which took a while as he would often mask it by messing about and just refusing to do the work, all through primary this was missed but in year 7 he was diagnosed and things got a bit better until he was bullied and school didn’t do anything as the boys said it was banter I think it affected him much more than he let on
At 13 that's when I first noticed a change but it may have been before that. He was just angry all the time and sneaky and hanging around with older lads then things escalated and he was school refusing into drugs and verbally abusive to me and his younger siblings. I took him to the gp when he’d agree incase he was depressed but nothing was done i felt like o was time wasting if anything.
At 15 he was permanently excluded for having weed in school- in his jacket pocket. He said he didn't know it was in there and he wasn't purposely taking it to school and I asked them for another chance but they said no and reported it to safeguarding SS (who were also useless tbh) and police who had a talk with him about dealing and county lines just a warning, it was only a big not a dealer amount but school were doing it as a just in case. He then went to a PRU and was around other troubled children and his issues got so much worse
He stole my card and spent it all on weed, he began self harming (both home and school) if I said no to giving him money and sometimes I just did so things didn't esculate. He punched holes in walls, wouldn't shower, threw things and trashed his room and broke his tv by throwing something at it, he hit me etc probably more too that I don't know about bur he said things I don't know if to shock me for a reaction or if it was true
I was constantly anxious around him and felt he was ruining my younger childrens childhood and sending the wrong message to dd about having a violent man around even though he was my son he was 6ft from being 15 and probably teller now
For months last year I was begging everyone for help and thus time last year he went into supported living with support workers around at all times and strict rules. The first few months were awful but he later bonded with his keyworker and he's been a positive male figure which he didn't have before.
He's went to the GP and has anti depressants and he's also stopped the drugs, he says he's not done them for 3 months and I believe him just because of how he is now he's a different person to him a year ago. He comes over now and he's just do much calmer and no longer angry at me for “getting rid of him” which he was before. He got himself a shelf stacking job at tesco and he's worked there for a month or so and loves it
His support workers have mentioned him possibly having a learning disability just because of things he does for example when he cooks he just grabs the hot food with his hands and burns himself despite being told to use other things many times this is just one example. I don't know how to go about him getting a diagnosis as all I've found on Google is for children and his support workers have said it's mostly diagnosed young and then I feel guilty as his sister is only 11 months younger so may have taken attention from him somehow but I had no concerns when he was young bar speech delay and he was late potty training but that's it
They have said though that typically these placements don't last longer than a year or 2 usually until they're 18 unless it's really needed like if they have SEN at 16/17 it's usually for life skills then they move on. They've said the council will house him but as a single man it will take a while and will probably be in a hostel before then or they'll recommend a shared house
DS doesn't want either a hostel or a shared house he doesn't want to share a space with people he doesn't know, atm he has his own room with a bed and kitchen appliances etc and a small bathroom but its just him in the space.
i also don't know how capable he’ll be living on his own if he did have a flat and I just worry he goes completely back to how he was before
Would you have him back in this situation if it came to it? wwyd?