AIBU to think marrying after eight months is not always rash?

[Turtlebeaker]

I’m curious whether people think DH and I rushed into things or whether sometimes you genuinely just know when you’ve met the right person.

DH and I met 4 years ago through a mutual friend at a wedding. Neither of us had ever been married before and we were both 36 when we met.

We got on incredibly well from the start and decided to go on a date. There was just an immediate connection. We were both at a stage in life where we knew ourselves, knew what we wanted and weren’t looking for someone to complete us just someone to share life with.

DH is British and American (dual citizenship). He grew up in the US, moved to the UK for university and has lived here ever since. Within 2 months of us meeting, he took me to America to meet his family, and I also met his family here in England. It felt very natural to become part of each other’s lives quite quickly. He met mine, my family were a little hesitant, his family not so. Then again his parents got married after 2 months of knowing each other and had 5 kids but in the 70s that was quite common. My parents have since come round

We got married after 8 months together. He proposed and a month later we got married at our local register office in London. We had a meal afterwards with around 50 people and it was honestly a brilliant day. It was relaxed, fun and didn’t cost a fortune.

Two months after getting married, we bought a house together. We both had savings and were financially stable, so it wasn’t a situation where we were making a reckless decision without thinking things through.

Since then, we’ve had two children. Our eldest turns 2 in a few weeks and our youngest is 4 months. We’re very happy together and I honestly feel incredibly lucky.

I was chatting to a new colleague at work who is 40 and would really like to meet someone. She asked how I met DH and when I told her our story, she was shocked. She said she couldn’t believe I married someone I “barely knew”.

I understand why some people might think 8 months sounds quick, but I don’t feel like we were making an immature decision. We were both 36, had lived our lives, knew ourselves and knew what was important to us.

I truly believe that sometimes when you know, you know. I believe love can happen quickly and that you can meet someone and just feel that they are your person. In some ways, I wish I’d met him sooner because I feel like I waited a long time to find him.
Of course, there are relationships where people rush and it doesn’t work out, but I don’t think there is a magic timeline that guarantees success.

AIBU to think that the length of time you’ve known someone isn’t the only thing that determines whether a relationship will work? Or would you still say we took a huge gamble. We were in our mid/late 30s we just knew what we wanted.

Met and married after 14 weeks. Celebrating 40 years next month.

The 1980s weren't that different! I moved in with DH before we got married and it wasn't particularly unusual.

First baby arrived 2 years later and I don't know any who were SAHM. No one could afford to be in the par of Surrey we lived in. I took 6 months off with DS and 3 months with DD. No extended maternity leave and certainly no free childcare!

I met my husband through a friend honestly thought it was a one night stand! 6mths later pregnant 6months after 1st child pregnant again at 10yrs we got married now looking forward to our 10yr wedding anniversary also 20years together

I think it takes two years to get to know someone properly.

It takes a lifetime to know how people will react and change to what happens to them in life.

A marriage might be really happy for 18 years, then end in the 19th. That doesn't mean the 18 years were bad necessarily. I've been with my husband 19 years, and we had a tough time at the 17/18 year mark - mainly around his new job making things tough. We're mostly past it, but if we'd split up it wouldn't mean that we hadn't loved each other for 17 years.

"Happily ever after" is only something you can say at the finish line!

I do think age plays a factor here, if you both want children and are heading towards a certain age, you might not have years to wait around. You know yourself by 36 and have likely dated a few along the way to figure out what you don’t want. It is good to see how a partner is in certain situations, but some you won’t know until you live through, such as having young children.

We all have different views and my view is that it doesn't take 2 years to know someone.

Of course though it depends whether you are living together so seeing each other every day or living apart but seeing each other every day, 3 times a week, 2 times a week or whatever.

As I said, we saw each other every day. Our neighbour sees his girlfriend once a week! We obviously got to know each other much quicker than he has or will get to know his girlfriend.

My mum and dad are similar. Got engaged after 6 weeks, married 6 months later. They’ve been married 50 years this October

I got engaged to my husband after 9 months, and moved in together as soon as we could (he had a year left at uni for his masters - spent most of his time at my place during, then we sold mine and moved to a new area, buying together). He was 20 and I was 21.

We actually had the wedding just under 2 years later, that's just when it worked financially and logistically, but we'd been living together ages by then. We have been married over 24 years now, with 3 children - and are currently watching our 21 year old totally smitten with a girl he's met this summer... I wouldn't be surprised if she's the one quite honestly. He has a year left at uni but she's working - wonder if history is about to repeat itself!

Me and my now husband wanted to get married about 3 months after meeting each other but we were only 19 and 23 and I knew my parents would have hit the roof so we didn’t. Took us ages to actually do it in the end but been together 22 years and married for 10 now I knew we would be together forever even at that young age

My nail tech met her husband at 16, married him the day after she turned 18 and gave birth to her first DC the day after that! Think she's been with him 36 years now and they are the sweetest couple I know.

On the other hand, my aunt has just divorced from my uncle who she had been married to for over 20 years. He was her second husband and everyone around her thought they were 'soulmates'. We were all so shocked and sad when she told us.

I don't think time or age makes a difference to the quality or success of a relationship. It's the effort both people are willing and able to put in to make it work.