to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

[CantGetBackToSleep]

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

She hasn’t said and I don’t think she needs to explain really. If she said that the DDog had been abandoned by its owner that is 100% true afterall.

wonder how it all ended when the NDN had to collect the dog from the vets ..
It was the only solution for OP. She must have been stressed..going on holiday and having to sort out the dog .
I hope she's not thinking about it while she's away and letting it ruin her holiday

That's very sad, thanks for that update.

When one of my relatives died, she was living a long way away. Although my husband was in hospital at the time, I drove down and collected her dog - she had been rushed into hospital.

I arranged for neighbours to feed her cats. This went on for weeks. I bought the food and visited twice a week. The visits took a whole day due to the distance. I also had a sick husband, who was at home by this stage.

Eventually, her local cats protection rehomed the cats. Happily, they were homed together.

Wow can’t imagine doing that to my dog, hell no. He is one of the family. Poor dog. Don’t blame you OP given her lack of interest in sorting it out.

Your parents are being massively unreasonable unless the dog is excessively hard work or doesn't get on with the other dogs. She has just lost her mum FFS and they are looking after your dog anyway.

You neighbour may be planning to come back by Fri. Stop panicking and give her some space.

Have you read OPs updates?

The OP and her parents have done nothing wrong. The woman is a pisstaker extraordinaire and an irresponsible dog owner.

🤣 you realise today is Sunday?

Why on earth should potential elderly people take in a dog that they don't know that has been stressed and chucked from pillar to post?

on, that is sad to hear, and I am so sorry that happened to you. Thanks for explaining-its helpful.

Er Friday was 2 days ago, this is Sunday

As we know, it's all settled now. However, my parents used to look after my aunt's dog for her. There is absolutely no way that they'd have coped with looking after her dog plus a strange dog.

Apart from anything else, the OP gave the NDN a clear timeframe. NDN failed to deal with her responsibilities and there's no guarantee that she's coming back for the dog.

So far as the 'poor woman has been bereaved' comments are concerned, she apparently has a relative with her who has already stepped in to 'help' the NDN, but only to try to fob off the OP.

I don't care how bereft the NDN is - she has to deal with her responsibilities as do we all when we are bereaved.

The OP has dogs as in plural dogs. We don't know if her parents also have a dog/dogs. How many unknown additional dogs do you think her parents should be willing to take in?

The Cinnamon Trust may be able to help

YANBU. To be honest with you, your neighbour could have easily taken her dog with her. You can get to Scotland in about 5 hours on a fast train, with all the faffing around at airports its actually not much difference time wise. With her mum being so ill, she must have known there was a possibility this might happen. I understand she's grieving at the moment but she cant expect you to keep her dog indefinitely.

I would message her and say you are dropping the dog at the local kennel and you will give them her details for forward the bill. See how quick she moves then.
Also I worked in a vets for many years and we would be very pissed off someone dropping a healthy dog to us for boarding.

Apart from all other considerations…does she care about her dog?? And the relative should have suggested organising payment for the kennels if the aggrieved woman isn’t’ ‘thinking straight’ are you supposed to do the thinking for all of them? And look after her dog too

She has abandoned it. It's sad about her mother, but no reason she could not talk to her on the phone. Dog has an owner who couldn't care less in my opinion.

What an awful situation to be put in. Doesn't matter what was going on, I'd make sure my pets were ok.

Would the kennel have even taken the dog without proof of vaccination?

You did all you could. You were amazing to look after the dog for as long as you did. If the owner comes back and is anything other than very grateful for what you already did, then she is really awful.

I’m sorry but having a significant bereavement doesn’t mean you get to abdicate your other responsibilities. The other relative should have made arrangements with you if your neighbour didn’t feel able to. I think she is selfish and thoughtless. Well done you leaving the dog at the vet.

Well done OP. Good solution.

Enjoy your holiday

I think you were amazing to take the dog and to try and sort this out. I do know however that grief can put people into fight or flight , and if the death was totally unexpected she just could have mentally and emotionally shut down. It doesn’t mean she’s taking the proverbial or doesn’t love her dog - just that her mind is in complete numbness and shock. Hopefully the vets can care for the dog until she returns and you can enjoy your hols with a clear conscience. I do think it’s a shame your parents couldn’t / wouldn’t help out though!

Great suggestion!
Or it would be if the situation hadn't been resolved many posts ago and if a pp had not explained that the CT would be unlikely to help in this circumstance.

No its not, its animal cruelty