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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

767 replies

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 06:37

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

OP posts:
Ashhh56 · Yesterday 17:58

earlyshirley · 07/08/2026 06:45

Take him to the kennels. It’s the only option. You can’t drop him at the vets!
You will have to pay for now until she gets back to you. If she has an ounce of morals then she’ll pay you once everything is over. The kernels may be willing to take payment on her collecting.
Otherwise put a message on local Facebook pages looking for dog sitters.Again you will have to pay for now but cheaper than kennels.

No. Definitely don't pay she will NEVER, ever reimburse you for giving her dog to kennels 🤨

redboxer321 · Yesterday 18:15

ThreeWordUsername · Yesterday 17:09

Nice of the vets to take the dog in although I would expect when they find the owner is unable to collect promptly they will pass it on to the council warden (who, unlike them, is actually responsible for abandoned pets) when able to.

Why on earth do people think it is the vets' responsibility to house a healthy animal anyway? So many "leave it at the vets" responses. A couple of things to consider:

  1. How would you feel if your pet's medical care was compromised or surgery cancelled due to lack of kennel space taken up by waifs and strays?

  2. Are you happy to pay higher vet fees to cover the cost of kennelling and caring for abandoned pets?

I don't think schools drop uncollected children at the hospital or GP surgeries do they?

Different if a stray is ill or injured when vet is appropriate.

Edited

I'm not sure you are right there.
A rescue I follow had this description for a dog:
"We were called from a Vets who had Jessie handed in but the dog warden couldn't take in as she was clearly abandoned as opposed to stray."

Might be different in different areas but that clearly states the dog warden will only take strays not abandoned dogs as this dog will be deemed to be if the owner doesn't call.
I imagine if the owner doesn't collect, they will either try to pass it on to a rehoming centre or pts themselves.

SouthLondonMum22 · Yesterday 18:16

millymollymoomoo · Yesterday 12:43

Poor dog 😢

not ops fault at all but dog must be so stressed

All thanks to its owner. She doesn't deserve to have a pet and hopefully it can be rehomed.

QueenietheGreat · Yesterday 18:28

@2dogsandabudgie
I'd contact a local doggo charity explain the situation and leave doggo at their door
Glad you didn't use the boarding kennel
She may have thought you'd stump up the cost, then feel bad about her bereavement so would not ask for the monies back and another thing
You didn't pay for her flight; did you?

Spotsmum · Yesterday 18:48

JulietteHasAGun · 07/08/2026 06:45

I’d be seriously annoyed with her. After her mum died her first priority should have been sorting the dog out. No reason why she couldn’t reply to your message and give payment details so the dog could go to kennels.

shes lucky you haven’t tied it to her front door with a bowl of water.

Don't be horrible! It's not the poor dog's fault.

Spotsmum · Yesterday 18:50

latetothefisting · Yesterday 16:56

I do find it weird when dog lovers (see the most recent dog vs non dog people thread) always give it the 'the DOG is my BABY he is a member of my FAMILY I love him more than most PEOPLE,' shit. If you left your baby with a neighbour for days without contact your child would be removed and you'd likely get charged with child endangerment, either you love your pets and treat them appropriately or you don't, grief doesn't impact that.

How hard would it have been for her to ring up the kennels and give them her bank details and ask OP if she can drop the dog off?

This is just absurd. You're using this thread to make nasty and silly comments about dog owners -- I suppose you think because some people abuse their children, that means all parents don't care about their children? Don't be ridiculous.

Gengha · Yesterday 19:16

HarshbutTrue2 · Yesterday 05:16

Many posters are heartless and cruel. If it was a child they probably would have dumped it in a field or the local hospital.

It's just proof of what a nasty uncaring society we have become.

Poor dog, it's owners have disappeared. It has been pushed from pillar to post. It is probably now in the local pound waiting to be put down and it's owner doesn't know where it is and has been blocked from finding out.

Yet all of that it totally acceptable in the warped world of mumsnet. I think this thread is ripe for Facebook or a lurid red top newspaper.

Show quote history

Och don’t be so daft. In the unlikely event someone would abandon children with a neighbour for 5 days the clear way of dealing with that would have been to have called the police and/or social services. A dog and a child are nowhere near the same, despite how much some people love their dogs

Seajaye · Yesterday 19:19

Does the council have a dog pound? Some do for abandoned dogs. Otherwise I'd contact the dogs trust or RSPCA who should be able to place the dog with a temporary foster dog carer

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · Yesterday 19:19

Gengha · Yesterday 19:16

Och don’t be so daft. In the unlikely event someone would abandon children with a neighbour for 5 days the clear way of dealing with that would have been to have called the police and/or social services. A dog and a child are nowhere near the same, despite how much some people love their dogs

Show quote history

Exactly this - it’s not the same thing at all!

Pinkchickenwine · Yesterday 19:26

Seajaye · Yesterday 19:19

Does the council have a dog pound? Some do for abandoned dogs. Otherwise I'd contact the dogs trust or RSPCA who should be able to place the dog with a temporary foster dog carer

Edited

Dogs at vets, OPs flown off on holiday!

Worth checking the updates

TheWorthyNewt · Yesterday 19:36

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 06:37

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

Your neighbour is bang out of order. So is her relative. When my mum passed away my dog was our family's rock, got us out and about and I'd never have dumped him on anyone. Sadly he took very ill last month and had to go to Rainbow Bridge. He was nearly 14. I've lost my best friend and if I was you on return from holiday I'd be having a lot of choice words with the neighbour. She doesn't deserve a pet! And she's treated you abominably, causing you all this stress.

NameforaDay77 · Yesterday 19:57

how much bother is one more, well behaved dog for your parents to look after while you're away though, really?

I would put the dog first, not the neighbor.

SouthLondonMum22 · Yesterday 20:03

NameforaDay77 · Yesterday 19:57

how much bother is one more, well behaved dog for your parents to look after while you're away though, really?

I would put the dog first, not the neighbor.

They don't want to look after a strange dog and I don't blame them, I wouldn't either. They are already looking after multiple dogs and even well behaved dogs involve the obvious walks etc another one could very well be too much for them but even if not, saying no is absolutely fine.

The neighbour needs to put her dog first. OP made sure the dog was safe.

AsHot · Yesterday 20:03

NameforaDay77 · Yesterday 19:57

how much bother is one more, well behaved dog for your parents to look after while you're away though, really?

I would put the dog first, not the neighbor.

It's moot now, if you read the updates, but OPs not in charge of her parents. It doesn't actually matter whether the dog would be much more work, only that they said no. People can't decide that someone else is going to look after their pet, which is the point of the thread!

Purplebunnie · Yesterday 20:09

NameforaDay77 · Yesterday 19:57

how much bother is one more, well behaved dog for your parents to look after while you're away though, really?

I would put the dog first, not the neighbor.

Why should the OP's parents take on a dog they know nothing about. 3 dogs is a lot, especially if you know absolutely nothing about the 1 dog. If it's stressed which it may well be it may start weeing or pooing in their house. It's not their responsibility.

HeCouldNotWouldNotOnABike · Yesterday 20:22

NameforaDay77 · Yesterday 19:57

how much bother is one more, well behaved dog for your parents to look after while you're away though, really?

I would put the dog first, not the neighbor.

Why don’t you look after it?

AcquadiP · Yesterday 20:46

NameforaDay77 · Yesterday 19:57

how much bother is one more, well behaved dog for your parents to look after while you're away though, really?

I would put the dog first, not the neighbor.

Or how much bother would it be for the neighbour, or her relative, to contact her vets - which is where Op has left the dog - and come to some arrangement with them? Better still, the neighbour could catch a flight, a train or drive home to collect her poor dog, which by now is more than likely very confused and highly stressed.

shhblackbag · Yesterday 20:54

NameforaDay77 · Yesterday 19:57

how much bother is one more, well behaved dog for your parents to look after while you're away though, really?

I would put the dog first, not the neighbor.

That's just such an entitled view.

Sereine · Yesterday 22:21

NameforaDay77 · Yesterday 19:57

how much bother is one more, well behaved dog for your parents to look after while you're away though, really?

I would put the dog first, not the neighbor.

Why on earth should OP's parents be expected to look after a total stranger's dog?

A totally unknown dog can make a lot more bother. The poor dog would be with its second set of strangers within a few days and getting increasingly distressed. Plus, while it's relatively easy for two adults to take two dogs out for a walk, that cannot possiby be the case for three dogs. Think a bit, FFS.

TheGoldenOwl · Yesterday 22:37

latetothefisting · Yesterday 16:56

I do find it weird when dog lovers (see the most recent dog vs non dog people thread) always give it the 'the DOG is my BABY he is a member of my FAMILY I love him more than most PEOPLE,' shit. If you left your baby with a neighbour for days without contact your child would be removed and you'd likely get charged with child endangerment, either you love your pets and treat them appropriately or you don't, grief doesn't impact that.

How hard would it have been for her to ring up the kennels and give them her bank details and ask OP if she can drop the dog off?

This doesn't make sense. The people who say those things sre not likely to be the same people buggering off abandoning their dog wothout proper care......

TwinklySquid · Yesterday 22:54

When I was suddenly taken into hospital while pregnant and had an emergency c-section, I was lucky my neighbour had my dog for two nights(I’d been rushed in midnight or it would only have been one night).
Within an hour of being awake- and even before I saw my daughter, I had arranged for FIL to come from up north to London for a short period and a friend from wales to have the dog long term(FIL stayed longer so wasn’t needed).

When you have pets, you can’t just abandon them even when your life is going shit. I am so grateful to my neighbour for helping. It made things so much easier. I’d never have dreamed of taking the piss. I’d have booked a kennel at the absolute worst.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Yesterday 23:10

Does anyone remember the recent thread about a neighbour who asked OP to look after her cat when she was away, and OP couldn’t because she was going away herself? So she left it with two very elderly neighbours who had carers and weren’t able to do anything so the carers were feeding the cat every few days? The thread got to 1000 posts and I didnt see a follow up.

Larrythebloodycat · Yesterday 23:35

Enoughofpeopleenough · 07/08/2026 13:32

It's a stretch to say she's lying that her mother died. While she's not done the right thing by the dog or OP, have a bit of compassion that she's lost her mum.

Show quote history

I'd be willing to bet that the owner will come back from 'Scotland' with a deep tan and a bottle of duty-free ouzo.

NSA2103 · Yesterday 23:42

earlyshirley · 07/08/2026 06:45

Take him to the kennels. It’s the only option. You can’t drop him at the vets!
You will have to pay for now until she gets back to you. If she has an ounce of morals then she’ll pay you once everything is over. The kernels may be willing to take payment on her collecting.
Otherwise put a message on local Facebook pages looking for dog sitters.Again you will have to pay for now but cheaper than kennels.

This.

Vets or RSPCA are bonkers suggestions.

latetothefisting · Yesterday 23:45

Spotsmum · Yesterday 18:50

This is just absurd. You're using this thread to make nasty and silly comments about dog owners -- I suppose you think because some people abuse their children, that means all parents don't care about their children? Don't be ridiculous.

Show quote history

What are you on about? I don't know how I could have made it more obvious that I was referring to general behaviour/attitude (people who make a big deal verbalising about loving their dogs (not sure how that's nasty or silly in case you don't think owners should love their pets?) but only criticising one specific person (OP's neighbour seeing as it apparently needs to be spelled out) for not actually following through on it the moment it becomes hard.

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