Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

807 replies

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 06:37

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

OP posts:
Mooselander · 07/08/2026 12:19

Scarlettpixie · 07/08/2026 12:16

I am surprised how many posters are saying the vets would take the dog. I am not sure they are under any obligation to do so. Similarly, you can't just drop it off at a rescue. If they are full they are full (and some are foster based and don't even have premises)!

In your shoes I would be phoning the neighbour and if she doesn't answer the person who gave you a hard time for trying to contact her before. Keep phoning. Texting and waiting is no good when you are running out of time. Do you have a friend or neighbour who could help? Ideally, you would take it to your parents with your two. What are their reservations? 3 dogs isn't much different to 2 if they get on.

They didn’t even need to have reservations. A simple “I don’t want to” just because is enough.

Whatever happens to the dog is not their problem.

MyMilchick · 07/08/2026 12:19

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 12:16

The dog is at the vet and they said they would scan and contact his owner if he has a chip. One of the receptionists recognised him so they know the owner is a customer. I’ve blocked my neighbours number so she can’t contact me to complain. Thanks for all the advice.

Very good OP, the dog is safe and not your problem anymore, enjoy the holiday!

Velumental · 07/08/2026 12:20

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 12:16

The dog is at the vet and they said they would scan and contact his owner if he has a chip. One of the receptionists recognised him so they know the owner is a customer. I’ve blocked my neighbours number so she can’t contact me to complain. Thanks for all the advice.

Did you say you had found the dog or explain the situation?

chocoluv · 07/08/2026 12:20

Sorry just seen your update.

Well done.

I wouldn’t have blocked her number, I would have told her exactly what I thought of her if she dared complain to me.

MrPickles73 · 07/08/2026 12:20

Well done Op!

MidsummerMadness91 · 07/08/2026 12:21

Please update us in the future if your neighbour ever brings it up! We're invested. In the meantime have a fab holiday!

Monkeypuppy · 07/08/2026 12:21

I'm glad it's been sorted and the dog is with the vet. I'm also glad you've blocked the neighbour's number so she won't disturb your break. Have a great holiday @CantGetBackToSleep !

PrettyLittleRose · 07/08/2026 12:24

CantGetBackToSleep · 07/08/2026 12:16

The dog is at the vet and they said they would scan and contact his owner if he has a chip. One of the receptionists recognised him so they know the owner is a customer. I’ve blocked my neighbours number so she can’t contact me to complain. Thanks for all the advice.

Great news. Enjoy your holiday @CantGetBackToSleep Flowers

Likeiloveyou · 07/08/2026 12:24

I hope the vets charge her extortionate fees for the kennelling.

What a cheeky bitch.

wfhwfh · 07/08/2026 12:24

Well done, OP.

The dog is safe and you have done your neighbour a big favour (even if they didnt appreciate it). You also gave up your time to find them a great solution regarding the kennels - all she had to do was transfer the monies.

alittlepieceofme · 07/08/2026 12:26

Great update! Enjoy your holiday!

Clarabell77 · 07/08/2026 12:27

This is why I don’t get too friendly with neighbours. Too many Cheeky Fuckers about.

Well done OP you did the right thing. Hope you enjoy your holiday.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 07/08/2026 12:27

What a CF your neighbour is OP. Good solution found. You can bet that now she thinks she's going to be on hook for vet's charges she'll sort it out pronto. People who take the piss with the kindness of others are awful.

Rosesandthorns66 · 07/08/2026 12:28

PersephoneParlormaid · 07/08/2026 06:43

I agree, call the animal rescue places locally to you. And send another text saying that you’re doing so.
I think that if they can’t help I’d ring the non emergency police number, and if absolutely necessary, because I don’t want to miss my holiday, I’d consider putting it in kennels. But I’m sure you need vaccination history, so not sure you could do that.
She really is taking the piss, death of parent or not.

Edited

I agree with this.

Totally understand her mom has passed away, but she has responsibilities towards her dog.
You helped her out in an emergency. She needs to understand you have plans and she needs to sort something out for her dog.

She has really taken advantage of your generosity and its totally selfish behaviour. Even in bereavement there are certain things that you have to sort out.

Isitevensummer · 07/08/2026 12:29

Could you also try the Cinnamon Trust? They are specifically for situations like this

Scarlettpixie · 07/08/2026 12:30

That's great OP that the dog is now at the vets (and knew the dog and owner). Have a lovely holiday.

MyMilchick · 07/08/2026 12:31

Isitevensummer · 07/08/2026 12:29

Could you also try the Cinnamon Trust? They are specifically for situations like this

Read her update.......

placemats · 07/08/2026 12:31

Isitevensummer · 07/08/2026 12:29

Could you also try the Cinnamon Trust? They are specifically for situations like this

Can you try reading the OPs updates. It's specifically useful in threads like this.

TheSmellOfSea · 07/08/2026 12:31

@CantGetBackToSleep excellent update. Enjoy your holiday 😊

honeylulu · 07/08/2026 12:32

Good. Well done OP. Dog is safe and will be cared for. Responsibility is placed back onto neighbour. I'm sorry for her having been bereaved but that really isn't an excuse for her to abandon responsibility for the poor chap and stop communicating with you, especially after you kindly agreed to arrange kennels if she gave you payment details.

I wouldn't accept her having a go at me given that you were doing her quite a big favour, but i understand why you have blocked so you can enjoy your holiday stress free. Have a lovely time!

ItsOnlyMee1 · 07/08/2026 12:32

Do the council have a lost dogs team? I have a feeling this is a statutory service.

If so then take the dog in and say you found it. Tell the council that the dog is not compatible living with your dog and they need to collect it otherwise you will release it again.

Inform the family member that got in contact with you.

Cheersminesalargeone · 07/08/2026 12:32

Sounds like she doesn’t want the dog which is very sad, but doesn’t give her the right to dump it in you.

MyMilchick · 07/08/2026 12:33

ItsOnlyMee1 · 07/08/2026 12:32

Do the council have a lost dogs team? I have a feeling this is a statutory service.

If so then take the dog in and say you found it. Tell the council that the dog is not compatible living with your dog and they need to collect it otherwise you will release it again.

Inform the family member that got in contact with you.

Edited

Read her updates........

Shinckle · 07/08/2026 12:35

Hooray for the vet surgery - that is very kind indeed of them.

Sunnibee · 07/08/2026 12:35

Take him to the kennels.