to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

[CantGetBackToSleep]

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

Either the kennels or RSPCA.

You cannot surrender someone else's dog without solid proof of abandonment - you risk being prosecuted and a good rescue will not take it.

You should not search for others to take on dog related responsibilities from apps like Rover etc. Most of those people are not vetted and quite frankly OP could be opening herself up for a whole host of quite serious repercussions should something happen to the dog (she'd also have to pay).

The best solution, and safest route, is to report the dog as abandoned to the dog warden.

Separately, I wouldn't trust the RSPCA to piss on a bunny if it was on fire...their 'duty of care' to animals seems to extend to getting as much money as possible out of them, not caring for them in any meaningful fashion. So even if their hands weren't tied...they probably wouldn't help. [There's literally a thread at the moment where the RSPCA have refused to intervene in the case of a dog that has lived in it's own feces in. garden crate for a year and not been walked, so yeah. Big animal lovers.]

It could get stolen though? And the weather could turn? I wouldn't be able to enjoy my holiday if I did that.

I hope you've found a resolution @CantGetBackToSleep ?

Totally agree. RSPCA are crap.

I'd be tempted to text one last time and tell her that you're going to leave the dog tied to her door handle, with a big bowl of water, and if she doesn't sort it out NOW, before you leave, if the dog dies you'll see to it that she's prosecuted!

Of course I wouldn't actually leave the dog like that, but it might just be enough to make her wake up and take responsibility.

We all grieve after losing a loved one, but we still look after our pets! All she, or any of her relatives have to do is ring the kennels and pay over the phone! Your only choice OP is to ring all charities and vets and see who will take it in, obviously leaving your neighbours contact details with them.

I can’t believe some of these replies that think you should pay for kennels or your parents should take the dog.

Call the dog warden and if they can’t collect immediately, then see if the vets will take him/her.

What an awful situation to be in. I think you’ve been more than reasonable throughout.

If the RSPCA won’t help, is it worth posting on your community website explaining the situation? There will likely be someone who would come and rehome the dog for a week or so?

I think she's an absolute pisstaker! In your shoes I would try a dog rescue/dog's home place first. The vet won't be able to keep a dog indefinitely - if at all. So bloody annoying. I understand she's grieving but for most people, their pets (especially dogs and cats) are like their children - and even going through the worst moments, parents still manage to care for or make arrangements for their kids. If she really isn't capable of making a simple decision or a few phone calls, she must have friends or family who could do it on her behalf.

It doesn't have to be either/or and she could easily be both - besides, even if she's not capable there's presumably someone who could take this off her shoulders and reply to you properly?

Personally I'd go with the rescue option, and of course tell her what's been done. As PPs have said there's little chance of her reimbursing you for kennels, so she'll just have to sort it out herself later

To be honest I doubt it. Considering the OP has been left in the lurch, people would be crazy to be lumbered with a dog with no idea of if/when the owner is going to return. Unless OP agrees to take the dog bak when she returns from holiday, which is unlikely.

Id take the dog to the vets and say you found it wondering the streets and leave it there.

What a nightmare. What's happened since you messaged her today?

Rescue centre. Your neighbour is a CF

I’d contact a local rescue rather than RSPCA etc al. Local rescuers far more likely to be able to help or point you in the right direction.

You’d be surprised - in my area people turn up in droves to help look for lost dogs and have taken in found ones for a few days if unchipped and vets can’t help. Contrary to another dog-related post trending, a lot of us crazy dog loving Brits would happily step up.

It’s worth a try, though, even if it yields nothing?

This is a dreadful position to put someone in and grieving does not excuse it- the pet should still matter to the neighbour.
When my Dad became suddenly ill last year, my friend who lives nearby came and took a key and cared for my cat for the initial few days. My Dad died while I was enroute, it was a 360 mile journey and I did not get there before he passed away. However I then had to stay for over 2 weeks as next of kin, so as a priority I made alternative arrangements for my cat from where I was as it was not fair to put that responsibility on my friend, as helpful as she had been, as she had work and other commitments as well as animals of her own to care for. Grief and bereavement are no excuse. I can feel nothing but angst and sympathy for you OP and anyone who says you "should" or "must" do x,y,z needs to consider what an absolutely impossible situation you've been put in.

The neighbour doesn't deserve to have this poor dog or any other pet, since she clearly doesn't take her responsibilities as a pet owner seriously.

What loving dog owner leaves a dog with a neighbour and doesn't check in or arrange alternative care when required. No matter what tragedy had occurred within my family I wouldn't turn my back on another member of my family - the dog that I adore and who depends on me to look after her.

I know grief can affect people in different ways but there's really no excuse for the neighbour to show such a lack of concern for her dog, she knows the op is going away on holiday.

Op, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this and I feel so sorry for the poor dog. I hope you find a solution quickly and you have a stress free holiday.

I’m very taken aback at the idea that the vet will just take the dog in for you! That is literally never going tk happen. Their crates and staff are there to treat sick animals, not harbour perfectly healthy pets of feckless owners.
and if a lost dog is handed in, they will generally post on socials, check a chip and attempt to contact owner and if no response, send the dog to the pound

oh behave, I’d turf it out into the street before I put my hand in my pocket. It’s in no way OP’s responsibility

What an intolerable situation. What did you do in the end?

Actually the dogs welfare became her responsibility when she agreed to take the dog. The fact that the owner has trampled over the OPs boundaries and is completely unreasonable doesn’t stop her being responsible
Suitable care needs to be found. And does not come free

Poor doggie, I understand she's just lost her mother but that doesn't mean she can throw away all her responsibilities. You're going to have to bring the dog to a rescue centre and give them her contact details and also let her know where he is. I bet you'll get a reply then.........

I'd be suspicious that she has done a moonlight flit and there is no dead Mum.

And ringing the dog warden and getting it collected (or collected via a vets) would be responsible for it's welfare.

It's owner is a fault for whatever happens next.