To think I’m “boring”

[sodoffbeforemycupofcoff]

So I’m 30 and I have children.
I am single.
I was wild before having my babies but now, I just really enjoy the simple things. Taking them parks, farms etc just spending time with them really.
my family are drinkers and are quite surprised to find that I no longer drink (I used to drink to get mortal. That’s not for me anymore).
I don’t really have any friends because I literally work all week and I am out with my children and around family on the weekends.
i am not on social media and couldn’t be less interested in dating while my children are young. I of course check hot guys out but that’s just window shopping.
people think this simple life is quite boring but before now I have been there and done that with chaotic living with an abusive ex and went out on benders on the weekend. I suppose I have grown up, rather than gotten boring!
would you say that I’m boring and if you would, what could I do to be less? That doesn’t include alcohol or men!

Anyone that needs a drug to have fun is boring!

You sound far from boring to me!

I never get bored. There is always fun to be had doing stuff with the kids, reading a good book, cooking etc...

I think anyone that would consider you boring would likely be the boring person!

I find people who get paralytic as a means of having fun the most boring of all.
Well done on providing a calm and peaceful environment for yourself and your children after the chaos.
It's unwise though to make them your absolute everything; so find something that is just for you as well. Hopefully you have a good friendship, and maybe some support that allows you to have even a hour every now and then for yourself.

I can't think of anyone more boring than people who think getting plastered is the best way to spend free time. Nothing stops you from having friends and finding some hobbies, though - crafts, art, playing a music instrument, yoga, reading, community volunteering with your kids at the weekend, free public lectures at a local uni...
You enjoy spending time with your kids and that's great. But it is also a lot of pressure on your children once they are old enough to understand that they are the center of your universe and you don't have anything in your life except for them.

Same here. I no longer care about being seen as cool, fun or interesting. It’s my one short life, I genuinely do it how I want to do it.

Depends – are you worried people think you are boring or do you feel bored/as if you're not getting the most out of life?

To be honest, the life of half the posters on MN sounds excruciatingly boring to me the way they describe it 😂

You have a young family, you are busy. Who cares what someone might think?

I would be worried you are lonely because you don't speak about friends much. Not obsessing about it, but I would try to organically meet people through schools, kids clubs etc.. and hopefully get friendships built that way.

It sound a bit too black and white, either partying, drinking dating random guys or not doing anything at all. You can have a social life while being a young mam.

Both your previous and current life sound boring to me. Because I don't equate interesting or fun with nights out, drinking, getting drunk and sleeping around. These activities are dull to me, and a waste of time.

But equally, yes your current life of work, no friends and farms also sound boring. But it's your life, and as long as you're happy, nothing else matters. I'm sure many people wouldn't want my life with.

While reading the replies on this threat I realised something… I’m actually never bored when I’m with my children. I can’t be they’re wild😆!
i was more bored when I’d be waiting to go out and get mortal and then being hungover the following day. These days I love simple walks and chilling out

😆bloody heck. Say it how it is! This is the beauty of individuals isn’t it. Each to their own and that’s totally fine

I find it really hard to socialise and keep up friendships.
I have severe ADHD and have never truly been able to hold down friendships. I could speak to a friend for a while and then drift away from them and it is a two way street, if they’re giving and I am not they’re eventually going to go their own ways. which is understandable. I have come to peace with that. I’m quite sec critical too. I would get into my own head and worry about what said friends might think of me etc. I wouldn’t say I was lonely but if I sit down and think about it, of course I would love a good friend. Luckily for me though I have a supportive big family and my sister and I are very close.

Bet your children don’t think you are boring. Who else matters?

Yes, this is what strikes me as odd about your posts, OP. It’s not ‘never leaving the house without your children’ or ‘coked off your face and dancing on tables’. Is this your issue, that you assume seeing friends is about drinking/clubbing?

I’ve just finished three months of work on an all-consuming project, which means I’ve led a much less social life than usual, but even so, I have friends round for dinner or brunch at weekends, go to gigs/films/exhibitions with them, etc.

It sounds good to me, especially that you enjoy your kids and spend quality time with them. Living the dream surely!?

I have taken up sewing and basic furniture refurbishment projects which can be done at home for minimal expense, although the kids might enjoy looking round charity/vintage shops for things to up cycle.

Boring isn't in the lifestyle, it's in the personality. I've met fascinating people with very small lives, because they're good conversationalists, witty and insightful. I've also met plenty of "I'm wild me!" people who are a massive yawn, tolerable only when you're in an environment that offers outside stimulation.
If you're not bored by your life, it's not boring to you. If you can hold down conversation, are interested in people and listen to them, you're not boring.
People who drink get very disconcerted when other people stop, and 'boring' is the go to insult. Doesn't make it true.

Your post is reminding me of Wendy Cope’s poem Being Boring - one of my favourite ever poems which I 100% identify with writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php%3Fdate=2003%252F07%252F21.html

I think turning your back on your previous lifestyle makes total sense but honestly you need some adult company, laughs and interests of your own. You are more than a mum and it's not good for your kids to observe you giving up on all other aspects of yourself.

If you have someone to mind them I'd get back into the gym and join some classes. Otherwise I'd organise an afternoon out with another school mum and the kids. Or I'd sign up for an online course that's run live.

You cannot put a price on peace of mind, the simple things in life.
I don’t doubt there wasn’t plenty of crazy experiences that went with your life on the lash, nothing good comes from being sloshed drunk.

Does it matter if you are?

The only thing I'd say is that it is always good to have a support network and genuine friendships; that's important. It's also important to have something for "self improvement", for want of a better phrase; some kind of hobby or creative outlet.

that could be something to work on, because it benefits your children too.
You can at least be "friendly" without being too deep. Not saying you are unpleasant, just that you have relationships with other parents.

Many of us wouldn't allow sleepovers of younger kids if we don't know the parents, that kind of things.

And as someone has said above, it's also essential not to live exclusively around your kids. It's fine when they are very little, but we are (slowly) preparing them to be independent and have their own life, own friends.

Not wanting to go out drinking is fine. I’d say having no friends is not. What about when the children grow up?

We,, that’s a completely different situation to the one you outlined in your OP! Bluntly, if you can hold down a job, and maintain a good relationship with your family, you can learn to ‘hold down’ friendships. And it’s absolutely crucial that you model healthy friendships for your children.