Will housing association help me move due to severe mental health issues?

[suffering7]

Hello

I live in a 2 bed first floor flat in a lovely area, I loved it here. We have nobody below or above us and it’s just a lovely flat.

I have always suffered depression and anxiety but under control.

I have a 3 year old and an 11 month old and since my youngest was born, my mental health is at an all time low. I’m with the local mental health team as well as perinatal team. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, agoraphobia and inattentive ADHD.

I am no longer able to leave the house apart from to take my eldest to preschool (2 minute drive) and to go to my Mum’s which is literally across the road, sometimes I can’t even do those due to onset of panic attack when I think about leaving the safety of my home. I am incredibly anxious and I don’t have a garden that my children could get some fresh air/play in. They are stuck in my flat day in, day out until the weekend when my DH takes them out.

We do not have a deposit for a house, we are currently saving and my DH is working every hour in the week for our business to try and get savings together quicker.

Has anyone been in this situation before? I don’t care about another bedroom, I don’t care about what the house looks like, I just want to be able to sit in the fresh air whilst my children play.

Has anyone ever got help from council/GP/MH teams for moving?

Thanks in advance x

Your council/HA won’t move you simply because you want a garden. Sorry if that sounds harsh. If you want to look for an alternative property it would be a case of looking for mutual exchange or going into private rent. You could try applying back to your local council but it’s unlikely you’ll be eligible as you are adequately housed.

I’m not saying you are but don’t admit defeat from your mental health illnesses. You can recover from the OCD and Agoraphobia or at least learn to manage them and make your world bigger again, how are things going in terms of treatment and progress?
I would focus on that and use your children as inspiration. Focus on getting your children out of the house not in a garden.

Sorry you are going through this.

I have no idea how housing associations work but are your mental health team giving you treatment for conditions? Surely the best thing for you would be enough mental health support so that you are able to go out and enjoy life again, especially when you havr loved your flat and area so much.

Does your Mum have a garden you can use in the mean time?

I think you're more likely to be able to treat your agoraphobia than you are to get a move agreed. Graded exposure works well for agoraphobia. I don't think this is a strong enough reason for a housing move to be agreed.

Another vote for looking for a mutual exchange op. And I hope you can get some good help from the mental health team and your health improves in time.

Are you sure it’s sensible to think about moving away from your mum, the one of two places you can go?

I think you’re in the perfect situation location wise, your mum nearby, close to school and nobody around you? They could put you in the most awful place- I don’t know that a garden means enough to risk that

I’ve worked in housing
They'd only move you on MH grounds if you needed a carer and lived away from support networks, or sometimes if you’d experienced trauma in your current property.
In most cases they’d expect you to seek treatment for your MH or suggest support agencies to help if you can’t take your kids out.
They’ll also question why you can go to your Mum’s and nursery if you are housebound.
Thry have no duty to rehouse you to provide a garden for your kids especially as your child is accessing nursery.

Get treatment for your condition, there are programmes available to help and it’s also possible to work on this yourself by very gradually stretching outside of your comfort zone. I k ow people who have fully recovered

That's not a strong enough case to meet the criteria for getting a 2/3 bedroom house, particularly if it also requires you to stay in the area to be near your mum.

There's also the consideration that although it might sound like it would be fine, there is no guarantee that you wouldn't find it impossible to go into a garden, especially if you can't make it across the road to visit her already.

My mum is wheelchair bound and in an accessible ground floor flat with no garden either. I just feel stuck in my own body, my own mind and now my own home.

I force myself to my Mum’s once a week to arrange her meds for the week ahead, she refuses a carer and I normally have a panic attack once I get there and I don’t recognise myself anymore. I don’t even have a good relationship with my Mum, she is an alcoholic, I had a shocking childhood and I just feel absolutely duty bound to do her medication so that she doesn’t die.

I am medicated and receiving therapy but feel hopeless and shattered. DD goes to preschool when I have it in me to actually leave the front door and drive her to the door, the nursery staff are lovely and will come get her from the car and return her to the car as they are aware of my situation. If I am unable to leave at all, she doesn’t go and I feel like the worst Mum in the world.

You might be moved due to health grounds, if proven, but it's a long process and they won't take a garden into account.

I think it’s very unlikely but you can always make enquiries. The issue is that it’ll likely then cut you off further from life due to the different location, surely? So maybe you have a garden but you can’t get your kids to preschool, you can’t get to your mum’s, etc.

It sounds like you really need some help and support and I hope you are getting it. Are there any charities etc. that can support getting your kids to something? Can your mum take them during week at all?

As stated in my OP, I’m not bothered by a 3rd bedroom. My children share and love it anyway. I just want somewhere I feel safe to open a door and get some fresh air/put a slide and swing for my children to enjoy because I feel like a fucking failure right now and my children suffer because of it.

Just posted at same time as your update so scratch the mum suggestion!

Thank you to everyone for replying

You'd have to do a swap op they wouldn't give you a garden for those reasons unfortunately.

I think, even it was achievable, it would be such a risk. You may end up with a garden and noisy neighbours, you may end up in a flat with a garden but neighbours above, you could be miles away from preschool.

I wish you well in your treatment, here’s hoping with the right support you can get your children out and about, especially in time for the 3 year old to go to school.

can your husband not work a 2nd job so you can save for a deposit quicker. You might possibly get a house swap but sadly not many people want a flat. Is there not any greenery near you that you can visit ?

Have a look at swaps instead.

they won’t move you, unless you live in an area of exceptionally low demand. Your mental illness would be considered minor in relation to your housing needs I’m afraid.

are you medicated?

He can’t get a second job, we have our own business. He works 10-14 hours a day 5 days a week and already misses seeing the kids except the weekends

I am medicated

I am on home swapper and also on the Facebook group for our area. We’ve done so much work to the flat and made it so lovely, I can’t believe the place I once loved I now feel like it’s a prison.

It’s not working then is it? Have you been given any other medication options?

I think you need to focus on your recovery rather than finding more ways to accommodate it. Like others have said you could swap and find yourself with other problems; noisy neighbours, loud traffic, bad local schools etc all of which would cause you more stress.